I don’t like Mondays, just like everybody else, but with a little sense of humor and a lot of chocolate, you can conquer this heinous day of the week and maybe even grow to like it.
You’re not the only one that has a looming sense of dread on Sunday as if you already feel the unbearable boredom of Monday setting in. As your eyes dry out looking at your computer screen, time stands still and five o’clock seems eons away. What if you became the Monday fairy? That’s right. Just like the tooth fairy.
If you’re bored, it’s not anyone else’s fault but your own. Here are eight ways to jazz up your Mondays so you can grow to like them, and become the coveted Monday fairy. With these tips you will never again say something like “I don’t like Mondays!”
Just as an army doesn’t go to battle without provisions, you can’t expect to make it through your Monday warzone of copy machines and board meetings without an ample, and I mean, excessive amount of cold…hard…chocolate. If there’s one thing I know, it’s that chocolate can get you through just about anything. Except through a desert, that stuff just melts everywhere there’s heat.
I’m not telling you to bring a Hershey’s or a Snickers bar to work. As a chocolate connoisseur, I hardly even consider that as a category of chocolate. I only recommend high grade, we’re talking upwards of 80% raw cacao chocolate. Maybe get the sea salt or spicy cayenne versions. This stuff is potent people, and we are lucky it’s not regulated more scrupulously.
So get to trader Joes, drop the whopping two dollars and get your rations. You’ve got a Monday to deal with.
Are you one of those people that only dress up Friday night and you feel frumpy at work? Hey we’ve all been there. Our alter ego, the librarian, (no offense to librarians, it’s just a stereotype that holds little water, I think you gals are awesome) comes out at work and we suddenly forget that we do know how to keep is sassy. Within reason of course, I’m not telling you to go to work showing a bunch of cleavage and to hike your skirts up. That’s not what we are going for.
What I’m saying is you need to dress like you’re going to have a fabulous day. Smell nice, dazzle the UPS man, and don’t just pull your hair back.Unleash your inner sensuality on Monday and the office won’t know what hit it. No more frumpy wrinkled ugly sweaters; get your boots on and act like you are supposed to enjoy your life ladies, because you are!
That leads us to the next order on the agenda for project “Demolish the case of the Mondays”…
Nothing says boring like elevator music. It gently lulls you to sleep and before you know it, you’re drooling with your eyes open after reading the same sentence in that email five times in a row. Crank up the jams! One of my coworkers always knew how to shift the mood in the office on Fridays and she would blast music. Is it illegal? No. Will people get offended? They probably will. Is it worth it? Definitely!
None of that sappy Joni Mitchell or Michael Buble stuff which makes single people feel like a worthless speck of nothingness swimming aimlessly in the abyss. We’re talking about real scintillating, energizing and good funk. You can’t expect to be upbeat if you surround yourself with something that is bland for your taste. Get your groove back Stella, and play your favorite jams.
The old adage says, if we always do what we’ve always done, we’ll always get what we’ve always gotten. So on Monday nights, plan something you’ll really look forward to. Maybe it’s a game night with the ladies or a book club. Let’s be honest, book clubs are a lousy excuse to get together, drink wine and gossip anyway right?
Maybe plan a yoga date with your mate, followed by a romantic movie to get the mood just right. Bottom line, you need something ravishingly fun EVERY Monday night to get you through the Monday.
Personally, I love live events. I’m a sucker for a good theater performance. I get all emotional and inspired, like when I first graduated college. Remember that? Well the theater doesn’t have to cost an arm and a leg, if you don’t go to the commercialized shows. Colleges offer great deals on plays and you will usually have a plethora to choose from. And it gets your mind thinking about something else too.
Think of this as your reward for bringing your best to your Monday, and being the beacon of shining great mood at the office. Also for relinquishing your dread of this perilous weekday, and embracing the unknown frontier of what the original ancient cultures called…Moonday…a day of mystery, exploration, funky music, and of course sexiness.
You can officially tell people you don’t hate Monday’s because you stopped believing in them a long time ago. You’re just following historic traditions of ancient cultures and celebrating the wonders of the universe. And when they look at you oddly, offer them some chocolate.
Do you drink crappy coffee in the morning and let breakfast be an afterthought or even maybe, skip it? Moonday is a day of celebration. A celebration has food, and that stands for fine food. That means you deserve a breakfast made for champions. You can’t expect to beat your case of the Monday’s running on an empty tank or a miniscule cup of sugary Yoplait yogurt, half of which spilled on your shirt on the way to work.
Feast in the morning and bring snacks to work so you can eat every two hours. If you feel like you’re in a prison on Mondays, starving and left for the wolves, that’s no one’s fault but your own. You forgot to treat yourself like a queen and pack a feast so you can graciously graze throughout the day, keeping your sugar levels up and your B word-ness at bay.
Here’s my scientific explanation for why people dread Mondays. When we are at home, on the weekends, we can eat when we are hungry because we have access to our refrigerator. We also have dominion over our time. However, I believe our bodies go into shock on Mondays when we suddenly go, often six hours at a time, without eating and wonder why we are tired.
We are not designed to eat massive amounts of carbs and then wait six hours before our next meal. Why has America adapted to these silly habits? They give us crazy energy lulls and short bursts of energy. I want you to think of yourself as a long distance runner, not a sprinter.
Yes we are talking about work life balance; a little preparation does go a long way. Switch things up too. Don’t just sit there for ten hours straight and not take your lunch break; that breeds depression and health problems.
Keep some nut butter, chopped veggies and fruits with you and if you have a juicer bring some juice with you too. Instead of coffee, which only works temporarily, you can give your body the nutrients it needs to function optimally and we will kick Monday’s butt!
Get your blood flowing by setting a reminder on your phone for every twenty minutes to get up and stretch. You can’t be awesome when blood’s just coagulating in the center of your body. Your oxygen will slowly stop getting to your brain and your feet will fall asleep, that doesn’t sound natural does it? Well it’s not.
The sooner you realize sitting, sedentary positions, and not moving, is so unnatural it’s not even close to natural, the sooner you will start to implement ways to counteract this depressive state with stretchy breaks.
Some offices have hired yoga teachers and have designated stretch rooms. I have been hired to go to offices to teach lawyers and accountants just basic yoga. They are so grateful because their shoulders are stiff, their circulation is practically null, and their energy is lower than low by the end of the day.
Have no fear, yogi is here. You don’t have to be a master yogi to stretch. Anyone can do it and it does help your energy. Take deep breaths so your oxygen levels go back to normal and get your spine moving.
There are lots of energy pockets stored in your spine that release when you twist and arch.
Your brain will function better if you balance out your day with breaks, good food, stretching and good music. Treat yourself well and your body will respond well, treat yourself poorly and you get that Monday blues girl.
Tell your boss that you adopted a new religion called Sun worshiping, which requires you to look at the sun at least every three hours. Sounds silly, but seriously, remember seasonal affectedness disorder comes from the lack of sunshine.
It’s no wonder that we all get depressed after eight hours inside on Mondays. Our body doesn’t like it. We are animals, our instincts tell us we need to get outside and roam and play. So get outside and stop making excuses.
Have you ever caught yourself focusing on the things you don’t like about the people your work with? Sure enough, this only makes us more miserable, it makes the situation worse. I call it the victim mentality. It’s like thinking: Well, I would be happy at my job if it wasn’t for so-and-so. Or we spend all day avoiding someone that irritates us and fuming over what they did or said.
This is no way to live, and the pioneers would roll over in their graves if they knew people had become complacent and miserable in the jobs on the land they risked their lives to search for. The land of freedom should not be a land of imprisonment, whether it’s mental or physical.
First, shift your focus by thinking about how you could make someone else’s day better at work. Maybe, every Monday, you should make it a goal to do something nice for someone. Whether it’s bringing in a bag of clothes you don’t use and letting the ladies go through it, or baking something for the office, doing something kind can shift your perspective and brighten the energy of the whole place. Misery loves company, but smiles are contagious.
If you try all these things and still find yourself dreading Mondays, maybe it’s because you don’t actually believe in what you’re doing. If you don’t believe in or connect to the goals of the company, it sure is going to be hard to motivate yourself. So make a list of what’s important to you. What do you want to contribute to the world? What ignites your inner fire? And then, make an action plan of steps to take to get you there.
Do you need more training? Is there a different department in your current company that fills your needs? Don’t be afraid to speak up for yourself at work. If you are dissatisfied with your job, the boss won’t know unless you say so. They aren’t mind readers.
When you are doing a fulfilling job that you truly believe in, that does give you energy. It becomes a passion before a job. It feels good to contribute to the greater good. One of the best jobs I ever had involved scrubbing toilets, and to be honest, I felt proud. I knew that my work was making someone else’s day a little happier. Sometimes it’s just the little things, like a clean toilet, that really matter.
Remember, we decide about our own destinies. We will only dread our Mondays if we accept that reality. Choose to make your Mondays fantastic and turn that ship around! If you found this article helpful, or at least amusing, share it amongst your friends and check out my other articles which offer advice for happy healthy queen-like living.
Shannon is a contortionist and yoga teacher that loves to inspire people to lead empowered and healthy lives. She writes practical advice for health and gives real world insights to empower women emotionally.
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