When out on dates, we often get self-conscious about what to say. We don’t want to ask the same old questions, so what should we ask? On the flip side of the coin, when we get to know someone better, be it friend or lover, we often forget to ask them anything at all. We assume that we know them, but do we?
People change, and to keep any relationship alive, we need to keep our curiosity alive.
1. If you could have one superpower, what would it be?
Would they make the whole world feel loved, or would they want to be able to fly? You can actually learn quite a lot about people just by learning what their priorities are.
2. Have you ever considered moving somewhere else?
Do they have a secret dream of moving abroad or maybe just to another city? Or, are they the kind of person who wants to live in one place for the rest of their lives?
3. What’s one of your favorite childhood memories?
Our childhoods shape us. Often, we can learn a lot about people simply by looking at their childhood.
4. What can someone do to make you feel really cherished?
We need different things to feel loved and cherished. Some people prefer receiving gifts, others like being told that they are awesome. Some people think that random acts of kindness, like taking out the rubbish or bringing them a surprise coffee at work, is the best thing ever. It varies from person to person.
5. Do you believe in soul mates?
This is quite an interesting question as it shows if someone thinks that life is random or if there are certain things that are pre-destined—or at the very least exist for us to be able to discover them.
There are those who think that soul mates don’t exist, plain and simple, but some have a theory that soul mates were once one soul that was then split.
Others think that we are all born with another half somewhere. Yet, others simply see soul mates as people who are an exceptionally good fit. There are also people who take the concept further and believe that we have soul families, twin flames and so forth. In other words, there are a lot of theories, and you might end up discussing a few of them!
6. What’s one thing you’ve done that you’d never do again?
Most of us have done something that, even if we have learnt a lot from it, we’d never want to do again. For some, that might be dating the wrong type of people; for others, it could simply be never traveling to a certain place again. Looking back, some things often appear quite funny, too, although they may not be so at the time….
7. Do you have some sort of spiritual practice?
Are they religious? Do they believe in meditating? What are their beliefs? This can open up interesting discussions about life, death and everything in between.
8. Do you believe in the paranormal/spirit world, or have you ever seen a ghost?
This ties into the previous question, but many people don’t have a spiritual practice per se and they’re still convinced they’ve seen ghosts. I’ve heard some rather astounding tales over the years, and if you start asking people you might, too, from the ones that can be easily explained to things you’d never dream could happen. Whether it did happen or they just have a vivid imagination is another thing entirely.
9. Have you ever had a recurring dream?
Here, you start digging into their subconscious, which they might or might not want to share. At any rate, analyzing dreams can get very interesting. Of course, you have to be willing to share yours, too…
10. If we could be anywhere, doing anything right now, where would we be and what would we do?
What is it they truly want in this moment? This can offer a lot of insight into a person’s true character and value.
11. If you could change one thing in your life, what would it be?
Even people who seem to radiate happiness have things in their life that they want to change or achieve.
12. What is one thing you’ve done you’d never tell your parents about?
From what happened in Vegas to what happened in Rome, some things are better left untold—but, of course, you want to know all the juicy details!
13. What’s one dream you have that you feel you really need to realize in this lifetime?
Many people have a lot of different dreams, from buying the perfect house to moving to Atlanta, but people also often have that one dream that they feel they need to achieve. It can be something small or something really big, but they feel that it’s the key to the rest of their life.
14. Is there any one book or movie that changed your life?
You might get some interesting replies. Personally, Moulin Rouge changed my life, and I bet you’d never have guessed that. After all, it doesn’t seem like a life-changing movie, does it, but it led to that midnight train to Paris…
15. Do you believe in fate/destiny?
Do they believe in free will, is everything pre-determined or is it something in between?
16. What is a special place you’ve been to where you’d like to go again?
Maybe it’s that one tree they used to read under when they were children. Maybe it’s a town they haven’t visited since they were a child. Or, maybe they just had a wicked time in Tenerife and would love to go again….
It’s not just about the questions you ask, but how you ask them and what conversations they lead to. It appears that people fall in love faster if you speed up the getting to know them phase by introducing questions that gradually increases intimacy. Y
ou also have to look them in the eye a lot. Adrenaline kicks for that matter are also said to speed up the rate at which we fall for someone, which explains why people in adventure movies know that they’ve met the love of their life within a day or two.
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