Cell Phone Etiquette for the Modern Girl

It’s an essential tool of communication in today’s world, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t follow basic etiquette when using our phones. Here’s how to be a considerate cell phone user.

Our cell phones have become extensions of ourselves. We constantly upgrade them to ensure we have the coolest and latest. We fill them with apps that help us to manage our daily lives more effectively, keep up with social connections, entertain us during our commutes and help us stay in touch 24/7.

In being so fixated on these pint-sized dynamos, it’s easy to see how basic cell phone etiquette can go out the window when using our phones. But, is this really an acceptable excuse? We don’t think so! Here’s how to be considerate of others when using our phones.

1. Turn it off and enjoy the show.

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Top of most people’s list is when people don’t turn off their phones in the cinema or theater. Sure, we all take see the pre-show reminder to turn our phones to silent before the movie starts, but that doesn’t stop people from checking their messages, emails and texting during those not-so-engaging scenes.

While the sound isn’t the issue here, the bright light of the screen is a distraction to the people sitting a couple of rows behind you. This also applies to theater and other live shows. If you can’t go two hours without checking your phone, don’t subject other people to it—especially if you forget to put it on silent and and Meghan Trainor’s “All About that Base” cuts into the movie’s soundtrack when someone tries to phone you.

2. Be in the moment, not buried in your phone.

Similarly, it’s tempting to want to document every moment of your night out or that must-see concert, but think of how much you’re missing out on while focusing on that one perfect shot. Think of how much more you’re missing while you’re uploading it to one or more of your social media accounts to share your evening with others.

By all means, take photos to share, but don’t get so caught up in them that you miss out on the experience before you. Wait until the next day or when you get to upload them on social media and enjoy the moments as they happen, not through your phone. The people behind you will also thank you for not having their view blocked every few minutes by the screen of your phone, or having to side-step you as you line up your photos.

3. Put the phone down.

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We all know at least one person who is so attached to their phone that they struggle to put it down for even a few minutes. You know the type: they have to respond to messages immediately; they’re constantly checking emails; their social media has to be updated several times a day. They live through their phones. You’re always second to their phone. It’s frustrating at best, insulting at worst. After all, you’re taking the time to see them in person—not share their life through Twitter and Instagram.

Don’t be that person to others. If you’ve made plans with friends, be in the moment and enjoy your time together. Social media, messages and emails can wait. These moments are fleeting, so make the most of your time together so that your memories are of people, not their life seen through their up-to-the-minute social accounts.

This also goes for situations where your full concentration is needed like driving or crossing roads. Sure, there are fines in play for drivers who use their phones while driving, but the damage is often done by the time the fines are enforced. Even hands-free kits cannot remove the full distraction of a phone from the driver although they do reduce it. This also applies to using your phone—whether you’re driving or walking—while waiting at an intersection. Be alert.

4. Keep your conversations to yourself.

There’s nothing worse than standing in the checkout line, being on a bus or subway or trying to chill in a coffee shop and hearing the one-sided conversation of someone who doesn’t know how to use their indoor voice. No one around you really cares what you’re planning to have for dinner tonight, that you’ll be home late or your boss was being a jerk today. Be a considerate cell phone user and keep the volume down—even more so if you’re mid-argument and/or break up with your partner. Either move to a more private area or call them back later. Keep it classy!

5. Your phone is not a PA system.

Similarly, having conversations in public places via speakerphone is a sure way to annoy the people around you. Now, in addition to having to listen to your side of the conversation, the people around you get to experience the not-so-audible voice of the person on the other end of the phone.

I understand the practicality of using the speakerphone when your hands are not free, but no one else is interested in your conversation—especially when it continues for 30 minutes. Keep the conversations private and follow the steps mentioned earlier. If you really must go hands-free, use earphones to minimize things for the people around you.

6. Make the most of your texts.

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Yes, text messages should not be used for full-length conversations, but they also shouldn’t be one-sided conversations because the other person never texts more than a word or two at a time. Think about how you feel when texting your crush and getting nothing more than “good,” “k” or “yup” as a response. While the reasons for his short messages may be another article entirely, the feeling of frustration and/or disappointment when receiving messages like this is similar for most people.

It’s also frustrating to have to pull a full answer from another person when you have a limit on your message bundle. Keep it simple: if you’re going to take the time to text at all, make the most of the messages you send.

7. Pay attention to what you say in texts.

If you wouldn’t say something directly to the person when they’re in front on you, don’t say it in a text. Similarly, pay attention to what you say and how you phrase things. You may be joking in what you say, but that doesn’t mean the other person will automatically pick up on that. Remember that sarcasm and tone do not translate well into text messages, so keep it simple and clear.

8. Walk or text, but don’t do both at the same time.

You’re in a hurry to meet friends or to get to an appointment, but the person in front of you is so engaged in their phone that they’re oblivious to you trying to get past them. We’ve all encountered this at some stage. For me, it’s a daily occurrence every time I leave my apartment because I live in an extremely crowded city where people are known for their phone addictions. People walk up and down stairs and roads without every looking up from their phones.

If you must text, move to the side where you won’t be blocking the path for other people. Similarly, stopping to take a photo or two is fun, but don’t stay in one spot while you re-take or edit and upload that photo without moving out of the path of others. Take the photo and upload/share it later.

9. Leave a message.

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Choosing between a phone call and a text message usually comes down to how quickly you need a response from the other person. Phone calls are more likely when the required response time is very short. However, this doesn’t mean that the other person will necessarily be available to answer your call.

Regardless of your relationship with the recipient, leave a message if they don’t answer. It’s not necessary to go into detail about the reason for your call, but give them enough information that they know why you’re trying to get hold of them and how urgently they need to respond or you may be left wondering why they haven’t called you back.

Wrapping Up

Be aware of the world around you. There’s so much more happening beyond those little boxes in our hands. Look around while you’re walking. Catch up with people in person. Give the people around you your full attention when you’re out with friends. Don’t make service staff—and other customers—wait for you while you finish your conversations or text messages.

In short, remember that the people around you are real, so put down the phone and focus on them. The emails, messages, phone calls and photos will still be there when you have time to give them the full attention that they deserve.

What are some of your pet peeves of cell phone use? You’re probably not alone in the things that you’d like people to do differently with their phones, so share them with us.

About the author

Sarah Coutts

Passionate about anything to do with language, Sarah enjoys writing as much as reading. She's a voracious reader and loves music, traveling and theater as much as language.

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