Nourishing the meaningful connections in our life with the people we love is something we often neglect.
When was the last time you truly connected with someone? I mean truly connected? You put your phone away, turned off the computer, the TV, looked that person you care about in the eyes and gave them your full, undivided attention?
I asked myself the same thing and didn’t like the answer.
In a world full of constant distractions, where you carry your phone with you at all times, check and respond to every email and text message the second it comes in, it is easy to get wrapped up in these tasks rather than truly being present with your friend, partner, family member, or co-worker.
Uninterrupted, fully present time with someone you care about is one the best ways to nourish one of your primary emotional needs.
When an infant is denied love and affection, it has serious negative effects on their brain and whole-body development. As we get older, this primal need for love and affection, to connect, does not just disappear.
However, we choose to ignore it and replace it with things like overeating, TV, social media and other distractions to fill the void. The habits of the modern world can leave us feeling as though we live in isolation. Neglecting this primal, emotional need we have to connect with the ones we love can leave us feeling stressed, anxious and depressed.
So ask yourself: have you been making time to sit with a loved one, turn off your phone, look them in the eye and listen—genuinely listen? Share? Be present?
Maybe you laugh or cry; maybe you just talk but you are fully there. No distractions. The rest of the world can wait. That, my friend, is what connection is.
It is like stepping up onto a beautiful mountain top and taking a long, deep, soothing breath of fresh air. It heals and nurtures our soul. It is the Human Connection—a primary need we neglect.
We need to re-establish our lost connections and make them a priority in our lives. Here are three simple ways to do just that.
1. Turn off all distractions.
When engaging in a conversation with someone, engage completely.
Turn off all distractions like your phone, TV and computer and tune into the person. Listen to what they are saying. Hear them. Ask them questions about themselves and their feelings.
Try and make sense of what they are saying and tell them that you understand. Share your feelings with them openly and freely. When you do this, the relationship will move to a new level of caring, nurturing and understanding.
2. Express your gratitude.
Slow down and be grateful for the relationships that you have in your life.
Each morning, make a list of the people in your life that you are grateful for. Expressing gratitude can awaken us to a whole new level of being. Show gratitude by taking the time to connect with the ones you love. Your undivided attention shows them that you care. Tell them that you are grateful to have them in your life.
3. Mark it in your calendar.
Make connecting a priority. Just as you would schedule work, a meeting, a workout or a TV show you want to watch, scheduling time to connect will ensure that you are making it a priority in your life.
Whether it’s coffee with a girlfriend, a glass of wine with your spouse or a walk with your child, find at least 30-60 minutes a day of undistracted connection. Clear your mind, turn off your phone and be present.
Commit to these small and simple acts for 30 days and see how you how feel less stressed, more fulfilled and calmer.
Notice how you are left with a feeling of deep and nourishing fulfillment that you never thought possible.
Have you noticed the positive affects you feel after a night out with a friend or a really open and meaningful conversation with a loved one? Share them with us below.
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