Moving Back in with Your Parents: Why it’s Okay and How to do it Blissfully

With low incomes and high rents, not everyone can afford to move out in their 20s. You may find yourself moving home after thinking you’d flown the coop. In fact, you may want to consider doing so if you haven’t already.

The job market is growing and Generation Y seems to have limitless entrepreneurial spirit, but we still haven’t made it past all the economic hardship. According to a Pew Research Center study done this summer, the number of young adults in the U.S. moving back in with their parents has increased in the past five years.

Moving back into your childhood bedroom can be a drag, but you’re not alone. Here are some benefits to staying with your folks when you can’t afford to live on your own.

Free Wi-fi

Whether your wi-fi connection is slow because you share it with five other Netflix-streaming millennials or you buy 400 calorie lattes every day at Starbucks just to get on the internet, free wi-fi is so refreshing—just another bill you don’t have to worry about.

Improve Your Social Skills

daughter and mother

Wait a second, wouldn’t living with my parents hinder my social skills? No more hosting wine Wednesday or Sunday brunches. The social skills you acquire from moving back in with your parents are hard-earned but worth it. Coping with people who irritate you and treating the people you love the most with respect will help you in all your future relationships from the office to the bedroom.

Free Food

I lost ten pounds the first time I lived away from home outside of school. I also lost ten hours of my life each week trying to find the cheapest deals at the grocery store. The lost pounds and time didn’t find their way to my bank account but rather to my landlord’s pocket in the form of rent. Opening my mother’s fridge to leftovers and all the staples is glorious.

No More Being Sexiled

You know the feeling. You finally made your bed this morning and the promise of going to sleep like a functional adult tonight is what got you through the slowest night shift ever. On the way from work, your roomie texts you some great news—for her, anyway. You’ve been sexiled. Voilà! Another plus to kickin’ it back with your parents. No one can sexile you from your own room.

So, there are perks to mooching off your parents (temporarily), but what if you don’t get along? If you have had experience with a roommate you’ve already had to learn to coexist with people. As I said, learning to get along with your parents will enhance your social skills—I mean really, if you can get along with your relatives, you can get along with anyone. Here are some pointers for achieving a blissful coexistence in your parents’ house.

Set Boundaries

woman hands

Moving in with your parents does not negate the fact that you are no longer a minor. Therefore, allowing yourself to be treated as such will create tension. If your parents expect a text anytime you change location, politely remind them that this is unreasonable. They probably don’t demand this level of reassurance when you’re not living with them. Nevertheless, give some information about your plans as you would with a good roommate.

If your parents are heavily involved in your life already then you may want to address how far this goes now that you live together. A weekly phone call about where you’re going with your life is tolerable but not every day. More face time means more opportunities to have these nagging conversations. When it becomes incessant, let them know. Ok, easier said than done so if the career or marriage talks are unavoidable, get out of the house more! Find a hobby or make more friends for the safety of both parties.

Grow Up

Your parents are more inclined to accept boundaries if you act like a real adult. Though you might think you’re grown up now because you’ve haven’t been home in two, three, even six years, you’ve probably picked up some child-like behavior. If you want be treated like an adult, these habits need to be kicked.

Leaving dishes in the sink because you wash them religiously every three days has to stop. Say goodbye to taking all day to rehabilitate your hungover self on the couch every weekend. An unproductive, alcohol-reeking couch potato is rarely tolerated chez the parents. Then, there’s the word “chores.” Any mention of the activity is bound to ignite the rebellious 13-year-old within. Start thinking of them as errands or “stuff you need to get done.”

Hopefully you cleaned your old place once in a while even if the dishes were only touched every three days. It should be no different at your family’s house: everyone does their fair share of house work to maintain a clean and pleasant environment.

Bond

Bonding with my parents has been my favorite part of living at home this summer. Whether it’s getting in some tennis with your mother or cooking with your father, take advantage of the time you have! If you give them the chance, your parents will open up in different ways.

Thanks to a common love of politics, good food and wine, my mother and I have developed a solid friendship outside of our mother-daughter dynamic. Through talking into the wee hours of the morning or over coffee, I have milked classified anecdotes from my mother’s hippy past and learned to appreciate her perspective on some things we disagree on.

Your parents won’t be there forever so take the time at home to improve your relationships and make more memories with the glorious people who made your glorious self. Learn to play nice and stay focused on your goals— this includes moving out!—and living with your parents won’t be the setback you thought it would be.

About the author

Isabella Le Bon

Isabella is a francophile and health nut who loves dark chocolate, Otis Redding and cured Spanish ham. She loves traveling and dinner conversations that last until the wee hours of the morning.

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