6 Things We Confuse With Love

Butterflies in your stomach – it is the most common description of love. But, are we always sure that we are actually in love? When you look back, isn’t there at least one guy for whom you could say that you only thought you loved him? We tend to confuse love with other emotions – these 6.

You have to remember that even though you may love someone, if you are showing any sign of these, that’s usually not the case. Unconditional love is pretty much a compromise between two people – agreement on things to do, and a lot of love, and respect for each other. Try not to confuse any of these things with love.

1. Sacrifice

This is a feeling more characteristic for women than men. We tend to want to do everything for him, and use that as an excuse whenever we get hurt. That’s not love.

Sacrificing yourself for someone else, throwing yourself in front of his feet, and letting him act like you’re an unimportant piece of furniture is a relationship that can lead only to one thing – exactly what you asked for. Acting like a martyr will basically make you one.

That means that you will never get a chance to be important either to him, or to yourself. You will drown in your role, and the only feeling someone could feel for you is sympathy.

2. Narcissism

There are people out there that want to be worshiped. They want to feel very important, always in the center of attention. They think that the fact that they are someone’s partner should be enough for the partner. They also think that it is love, but they are wrong.

If you look for narcissistic love, that is exactly what you’ll get. Sure, you’ll have someone who worships you, but as soon as he realizes that he doesn’t actually love you, he’ll move on. And you’ll be left a queen with no subjects. Sad, bitter and all alone.

3. Idealization

couple in love portrait

This feeling can go two ways – either you’ll idealize your partner thinking that he is perfect, or you’ll dream about someone ideal who your partner could never achieve to be. None of these is love, and both are harmful for your relationship.

Dreaming about an ideal person is a feeling typical for high school girls. If you’re not one of them, you’re really too mature to be feeling this. No one is perfect and unless you realize this, you’ll never be happy. Your partner will never be good enough, and you’ll always only see his flaws.

On the other hand, idealizing a man you are with is even a worse case. He’s not perfect, just as you’re not. You’ll live with this feeling for a while, and once you start realizing that you’ve spent your time with someone who is completely different than you thought he was, it’ll be over. And you will be disappointed.

4. Sex

Great sex is not love. No, no matter how great, amazing or mind-blowing it is, sex is still just sex. Love is something completely different.

You could dwell on a relationship based on sex for a while, but the moment when you realize it’s just not enough, will definitely come. You’ll find yourself trapped with a guy who you’re treating basically like a vibrator, and who you can talk to, as much as you could to a vibrator – not at all.

Now, I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with a meaningful relationship with great sex, but only sex could never be enough. We are looking for mates for life, for friends and companions – not for sex toys.

5. Adultery

They say that you will always be sorry about adultery – if you do it, you’ll be sorry that you did, if you don’t you’ll be sorry that you didn’t. The question is which regret you can live with.

Adultery is almost never love. It is letting loose a bad girl inside of you, and doing something you shouldn’t. It’s like sneaking out of your house to get to a party when you were in high school.

Adultery is a burden you’ll carry for the rest of your life. You’ll hurt yourself, your partner, the man you committed adultery with, and his partner, if he has one. That’s too many people hurt for too little pleasure.

6. Great Expectations

This is a relationship in which one person tries to be responsible for both. They are the one making all the decisions and taking care of everything. If you happen to be this person, you may think that you do it for love, but you actually don’t.

This kind of behavior can only push your partner away from you. Everyone needs to speak their mind, at least once in a while. If you maintain this kind of relationship you’ll get exactly what you asked for – a relationship with yourself. Even if you stay together, one day you’ll get sick of always being the one doing everything, and making all the decisions. Relationships are compromises, not leadership.

Every one of us has probably felt at least one of these feelings, and confused them for love. We are all just humans after all. But, now that you know – do your best to distinguish your feelings, and feel free to share your experience.

About the author

Sarah

I’m a free spirit who likes to travel, cook and fly. Licensed paraglider pilot, I spend all my spare time flying. In the meantime, I like to share my recipes and travel experiences.

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  • These are really, really, good. How did I get onto this website? I can’t seem to stop reading! Favouriting it (: