It’s a lot easier to deal with someone putting down your looks or feeling like you’re not as good as someone else in comparison than it is to deal with someone you love and care about choosing someone else. They betrayed your trust and that hurts on a level deeper than almost anything else.
You end up feeling hurt, and even worse, insecure. It’s extremely hard to come back from being cheated on unscathed. Your self-esteem will take the brunt of the harm, too.
You can end up a lot more insecure, your confidence will be shattered, and you’ll even have a hard time moving on and trusting someone new.
Letting your confidence dwindle until it’s reduced to nothing will cause some major issues in the rest of your life, too. You’ll stop wanting to go out with friends, you’ll be a lot quieter at work, and you could potentially run into many issues in future relationships.
If you want to avoid all of this, you’ll need to take action right away. Here’s how you can regain confidence after being cheated on.
Remind yourself that it’s NEVER your fault
This might be the hardest thing to do but it’s the most necessary. When a partner is unfaithful, we tend to blame ourselves and wonder what we did wrong or ask ourselves why we’re not good enough.
The truth is that it’s not our fault at all. Your partner is the one with the issue. They have problems that caused them to cheat and you need to remember that.
You could be the perfect partner and have done everything right but if your significant other had major issues (which they do if they cheated on you), it’s not your fault.
This will ultimately help you see that there’s nothing you need to change. When you realize they’re the one with the problem, you’ll be able to get rid of the self-deprecating thoughts and your confidence will be restored.
Surround yourself with people who love you
Your support system will be the biggest help for learning how to gain confidence again after being cheated on. They love you and they know your worth.
And that means they’ll help remind you of how amazing you truly are. Open up to them and spend a lot of time with them.
The more time you spend with people who are there to build you up, the higher your self-esteem will get. Make sure to listen to their praise and remember that they love you. No matter what happened with the person who cheated on you, they’ll always think of you as the incredible person you are.
So go out with them and go out a lot. Even if you want to stay inside and wallow in your own self-pity, don’t. Force yourself to get up and go be with your friends and family. Your confidence will thank you for it.
Do things that make you feel good
You can’t let this betrayal derail your life. You need to keep doing the things you love and continue to pursue your passions. If you let yourself fall into a slump and refuse to do the things you love, you’ll only feel worse and worse about yourself.
Not only do your hobbies give you something fun to do that you truly enjoy, they also make you feel great about yourself. They make you feel smart and creative and in control. You need those things if you want to gain confidence again after being cheated on.
So don’t stop doing fun things. In fact, go out there and do even more fun things. Get your friends involved and go have a great time with them. Keeping your mood up will also help to keep your self-esteem high.
Focus on feeling good
When you feel good on the inside, it’ll make you feel great on the outside. That may sound a little cheesy, but it’s also very true. Don’t go to the gym with the intent to change your appearance because you don’t think you look good. That will only result in you feeling worse and worse the less you progress.
Workout so you feel better. Eat healthy foods so you’ll have more energy, which will also put you in a better mood. Pamper yourself so you feel pretty and happy and because you’re worth it.
When you do things that are great for your body and mind, your confidence will naturally be restored. Spend more time doing little things that make your mind more peaceful and less time fixating on small things you’re not able to change about yourself.
Focusing on those insecurities will only make the matter worse.
Seek help if you need it
Being cheated on is serious. It can be really hard to deal with alone and sometimes, you may need additional help. This can be from your support system or even from a professional. Sitting down and talking to someone about the situation and how your self-esteem has taken a hit can help you work through those feelings.
It can also help you see how wrong it is for you to blame yourself when they clearly have the problem. Talking out loud can help you understand the depth of what happened and you’ll see that it’s not your fault in any way, shape, or form.
Sometimes seeing a professional and telling them about your struggles with self-confidence is the only way to make it better. There’s no need to feel ashamed or any less of a great person just because you need some help. Do what’s best for you and your life.
Knowing how to gain confidence again after being cheated on is essential if you want to have a high self-esteem and move on with your life. Focus on all the good you have and your best qualities and you’ll be on your way to a much more confidence.