Friends with benefits get a bad rap. More times than not someone ends up hurt, or falls in love and things can get really messy and complicated. But when you’re not ready for a monogamous relationship and still want to have a little fun, it’s the perfect way to get exactly what you want and if done right nobody has to get hurt in the process.
Having a FWB can be a blast, as long as you two are on the same page and are always honest with each other. If you’re not, you could cause some serious damage to your own or the other person’s heart. However, even if everything goes smoothly, sometimes your friendship won’t last once the sex is removed.
Here are some possible outcomes and solutions to the post FWB era:
1. Problems With Future Boyfriends
Even if old friends with benefits are able to push past any awkwardness and jealousy, their friendship might not work out. Why? Well, once you start dating a new guy and he finds out you still talk to your old FWB, he probably won’t be happy. Since you used to have casual sex, your boyfriend will be worried about it happening again. You can’t really blame him.
2. Time Together is Boring
Some friends with benefits only get along because they enjoy the sex so much. When they decide to stop fooling around, they might realize that they don’t enjoy the other person’s company as much as they thought they did. Without the sex, their friendship is just plain boring. When their evenings playing video games and watching Netflix no longer turn into hot make-out sessions, they realize that they aren’t all that good of friends after all.
3. He Knows Too Much
If you’re incapable of being friends with an ex-boyfriend, then you’re probably not going to stay friends with your old FWB. I mean, he can close his eyes and imagine what you look like naked. He knows exactly what to do to make you orgasm. He just has a little too much information about your private life. That’s why you might be uncomfortable sitting around with him on a relaxing Friday night.
4. Your Friends Will Judge
People can be cruel, even your close friends. When you ask your old FWB to hang out with you and your gal pals, you’ll have to explain how you know him. When they hear that you used to have casual sex with them, they might get the wrong idea about you or about him. Some people aren’t comfortable with relationships that aren’t monogamous, so get ready to be judged.
Staying Friends
Despite all the problems that ex-FWB can have once they decide to end their arrangement, they can manage to remain friends. After spending so much time with a person, it’s difficult to watch them leave your life. That’s why you shouldn’t give up without a fight.
Here are some reasons why there’s hope that you’ll remain in each other’s lives:
You Have a Close Bond
Even if you’re having casual sex with someone, it’s still an intimate act. You’re letting them see a part of yourself that most people will never see. You trust them to treat you right and to pleasure you the best they can. When you stop sleeping with them, that bond will remain. That’s why, if you can get past any awkward moments, an old FWB can be the best friend you’ll ever have.
He’s Your Backup Plan
You were friends with benefits with him, because you enjoyed his company. If you’re ever feeling lonely again in the future, it’s nice to know that your old FWB is still there for you. Keeping him around as a backup isn’t the nicest thing to do, but it’ll help keep your friendship alive. Who knows? You might even end up marrying him one day, so you don’t want to let him go just yet.
He’ll Give You Advice
If you and your FWB truly didn’t have any feelings for each other, then they’re a great person to ask for advice. You can ask them if you were really a good kisser and how you could do better in the bedroom. You can ask them what outfits make you look the sexiest and if your dirty talk needs work. No matter what you ask them, they should feel comfortable giving you tips, unlike everybody else in your lifewho would be embarrassed about it.
You’re More Than Friends
Friends with benefits can fall in love, just like any other two people can. If you develop a crush on your FWB, you have no choice but to end the arrangement. However, that doesn’t mean that you have to just be friends again. If both of you feel the same, you can end up as boyfriend and girlfriend. It’s not as rare as you think, so don’t keep your feelings bottled up out of fear that you’ll lose your FWB forever.
Just be honest.
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