Does Anal Sex Hurt?
One main thing that puts most women off having anal sex is the fear that it will hurt, or that the experience has been painful in the past.
Anal sex can be uncomfortable at first if you are not used to it because it will feel strange and different to normal sex, but it doesn’t have to be painful. In fact it can be very pleasurable when it is performed right.
Pleasurable anal sex requires maturity, understanding and preparation; which means lots of foreplay and having plenty of patience. Using the right sex positions can also help to make the experience a good one.
The Truth About What All Men Want in Bed (It’s Not What You Think)
How to Prepare for Anal Sex
Before we look at the best anal sex positions, let’s explore how to prepare properly for anal sex to make sure that you don’t experience any unnecessary pain.
The most important thing to take into consideration is that you both have to be turned on by the idea of having anal sex. Once you are genuinely turned on by the idea of it, you are less likely to feel nervous, which means your body will start to relax.
This is an essential part of having anal sex because you are not necessarily in control of the muscles in your rectum, and forcing a penis into it is what will cause you pain. Your anus has to “accept” the penis, and a lot of this is a kind of psychological acceptance.
The more relaxed and ‘open’ you are to the idea of anal sex, the more likely your anus is going to relax and open up to receive your man’s penis.
TOP 5 Anal Sex Rules
Here are the five top rules every couple should know before attempting anal sex:
- Indulge in plenty of foreplay – you both need to be one hundred per cent turned on for it to work and eliminate the chance of pain.
- Get used to having other things inserted before he attempts to use his penis. You can use finger play, licking, tongue, toys etc…
- Use lots and lots and lots of lube! The anus does not produce natural lubrication like the vagina and you will need to keep topping up to avoid the delicate tissues tearing.
- Where possible, make sure that YOU are in control of the initial penetration, and using plenty of lube, tease his penis in and out until your anus becomes more relaxed and accepts it fully.
- Keep on top of your hygiene! Makes sure your bowels are empty and you are clean before you start, use a condom, and don’t let him put his penis of fingers anywhere near your vagina entrance because they can transfer bacteria from your rectum and you WILL get an infection.
The Best Anal Sex Positions are where YOU are in Control
To take away the anxiety that will cause your body to tense up prior to anal sex it is always important to make sure that you don’t feel vulnerable.
The best way to do this is to take control your self. If you are afraid of being hurt by your boyfriend thrusting his way in, make it clear to him that he is not to thrust.
You will have more control if you are on top, you can make sure that his penis and your anus are properly lubricated before you begin, and you can start off by leaning forward to kiss him while you get him to rub the tip of his penis over your anus entrance to get it used to contracting, which the muscles will do automatically.
When you are ready you can take hold of his penis and sit up, easing it in bit by bit the more confortable you are feeling.
Get him to play with your clit and your breasts at the same time so that your pleasure is sustained and you don’t get too distracted by the task of getting his penis to slip inside. Once he is in, then you have complete control over the depth and pace of penetration.
Why Woman on Top Anal Sex Feels So Good
When you are on top and his penis is in your ass, the sensation you feel will be intense and very different to the ones you feel during normal sex.
You can intensify these sensations further by leaning forward so that your clitoris gets enough friction to build you up towards an orgasm.
This is how many women can climax during anal sex, and the anal penetration will bring your orgasm to a completely different level!
How to make Rear Entry Anal Sex Pleasurable
Half the excitement of anal sex for a guy is seeing your ass, and watching you from behind because many men relate the experience/fantasy of anal sex with porn, where porn stars tend to do anal sex doggie-style.
For women though, the thought of having a guy pumping a penis into their ass from behind is a scary thought. It looks almost violent!
If you want to try anal sex with rear entry, my advice is to do it in the spooning position, with your guy lying behind you. Firstly, it is much less pornographic, but the guy can still lean away and get a fine view of your bum.
Secondly, it feels more intimate and you can go at a slower, more sensual pace and build up to whatever feels good. And thirdly, he can reach round and stimulate your erogenous zones with his hands so that the anal penetration has the potential to build you up to a wonderful climax too!
The Secret to Painless Anal Sex
Until you are used to having anal sex it is important for you to feel safe and in control of the penetration. It is important to trust your boyfriend and make sure that he understands how to perform anal sex safely and sensitively.
Anal sex can open you up to new levels of sexual pleasure, and the ultimate secret to avoiding any kind of pain is to be very, very turned on! So explore your fantasies, use your imagination, and always do your research.
And you should definitely also read our article on having anal sex for the first time: