Talking sexy can reap you a lot of rewards in the bedroom! You just have to be comfortable to orally express your desires and practice dirty talk until you start seeing the real benefits from it.
Words that heat things up between the sheets can be uttered in the bedroom, through texts, over email or during conversations on town. Some words are more explosive than others….
You need to find out what kind of sexy/dirty talk you and your man like. Maybe it’s the cute stuff you find the sexiest, maybe it’s the dirty stuff. What to bear in mind is that just because someone talks dirty doesn’t mean they are in any way degrading you.
Calling someone a dirty b*tch, or a horny sl*t, in the bedroom is no more derogatory than calling them a sex kitten. If someone loves you, they love you whether it turns them on to call you a slut or a queen. You obviously have to have your boundaries as well – if something is a complete turn off for you, then he shouldn’t say it.
If you don’t know what works for you, do some googling and read some steamy novels. Below are some phrases—from the very innocent to the downright dirty—that might work for you and your partner—some for texting, others for direct conversation/in the bedroom.
He’s at work. You know you won’t see him for a couple of hours. You’re feeling turned on, so you text him and tell him about it.
Chances are, he will tear your clothes off as soon as he gets in the door. You can also tell him exactly what you will do with him when you both get home.
This also works if he’s on his way home.
This can be fun…and daring. When at a party or other social gathering—one where you know it would be terribly hard to sneak out—start sexting him.
“You know what I was thinking right now? Maybe I shouldn’t tell you… ;)”
“I was thinking about how great you look naked… I know it’s kind of inappropriate right now, but you just look so hot in those jeans!”
“Yeah… And then I got thinking about what we will do when we get home…”
“What will we do?… ;)”
“I will slowly take off my dress…”
And so forth. You can keep it fairly innocent (some texts about how hot he looks) or get really dirty with it. The whole point is to build up incredible tension at a moment where you know there’s no release for a while.
Whatever you like about your man, make sure you tell him—not all in one go, but a couple of compliments each week. Vary the compliments from looks and dress to personal traits and acts.
Tell him you love the way he makes love to or kisses you. Another day, tell him you love his hands and think they’re sexy. Yet another day, tell him how impressed you are by the way he handled a conflict at work.
Also, remember to thank him for anything he does for you, be it cooking a meal or carrying your bag. Make him feel good being around you. The more confident a man feels around you, the better he will perform in the bedroom.
Men have a thing for their penises. They see them as some sort of proof of their manliness. You might think it funny, but they don’t. Maybe the best comparison is your overall body image being equivalent to how they view their lower anatomy.
If a man praises your body, you will feel comfortable with him. You’ll glow in his presence. You’ll lower your guard and open up to him. You’ll feel daring because you feel safe. This guy isn’t going to hurt your feelings in the bedroom because he desires your body.
Now apply this to a man. You should definitively tell him anything that turns you on about his body in the bedroom. His sexy abs, his strong arms, his muscular thighs…whatever it might be. Just don’t leave out the penis.
Whether you tell him you love his erection, you like how hard he is for you, you love his c*ck, you love how he feels inside of you, you love sucking him or you tell him you think he looks great naked while you stare at his penis doesn’t matter as much as doing it.
He’s going to feel like a stud. And men like feeling like studs just as much as you like feeling loved, sensual and sexy.
Basically, he thinks his penis is his pleasure tool to please you with. If you are pleased, he feels like a king. If you seem like you don’t care, he feels worthless.
Of course, you can also speak about your sex fantasies while in the bedroom, taking someone on an imaginary journey while having sex. Likewise, if you are away from each other, you can send fantasies via email, one piece of the story after the other.
The best way to start is to find out what turns you and your partner on and take it from there. You will have some turn-ons in common and others that don’t gel too well.
Find out what words work for him and you. From there, you can experiment with texts, emails, whispering things in his ear when out and about and saying dirty things while in the bedroom.
Writer. Social Entrepreneur. Foster mommy (twins). Change maker. Foodie. Health freak. Nature lover. Creative nutcase. Blogger (Confessions of a Dizzy Blonde). A friend of mine once described me by saying “One minute she’s like the Dalai Lama, the next a dizzy blonde” and maybe that does sum me up…
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