Being friends with benefits with someone might be appealing and a boost for your ego, but sex without love is as much doomed as love without sex.
Being in a relationship with someone is a commitment. Once you accept being his girlfriend, there may be a possibility that you’re going to get married. At least, this is how I see it.
I’ve noticed that infidelity is a very common issue. Throughout the time that I’ve been married, there have been things that I have learned along the way.
Today, I want to share a story that happened to someone very close to me while I was in college, and perhaps this could help you to overcome temptation.
When I was completing my undergraduate degree, I saw many things happen within the university walls. For instance, there were girls, and boys too, who would cheat on their partners.
In the beginning of my second semester as a junior, I became friends with a girl by the name of Olivia. Even though she was beautiful, love was something that she hadn’t yet found.
In her quest to find love, she became involved with Franc, who was one of the best-looking guys at the school. As the relationship grew, Olivia became emotionally attached to her new boyfriend.
Sadly, she wasn’t allowed to share this unofficial title with anyone, since they were still just friends, but with benefits.
As time passed, their intimate relationship became something that you would only read in 50 Shades. Olivia knew that she wanted something serious, but Franc didn’t. This is when she tried to stop the intimate relationship, and eventually found someone else whom we will call John.
As John and Olivia talked, she was too embarrassed to share that she was way too intimate with a guy who wasn’t even her boyfriend. The relationship grew, and Olivia started having really strong feelings for John; the best part is that she received the same in return.
However, things didn’t go as expected, especially in a university where everyone knew each other.
Franc had dated multiple girls from the university, but he was still craving the one who sparked so much passion within him, Olivia. Through his friends, he made Olivia aware that if she didn’t sleep with him again, John would find out.
At that moment, my friend felt very confused, and she didn’t share this with me until after she had fallen for Franc again.
Over a period of several months, Franc and Olivia had amazing sex, but it just didn’t feel right with her. Why you may ask? Because at this point she was in love with John.
Honestly, I understood where she came from, when she explained to me how she didn’t know what to do.
On one hand, Olivia was afraid to share the truth about her wild nights, because she was afraid that John would think that she was promiscuous and not wife material.
As time passed, John found out and ended things with Olivia. The reason behind his choice very simple: she should’ve been honest with him from the very beginning. Sadly, Olivia didn’t think this way, and deep down she missed sleeping with Franc.
Now that she’s older, Olivia realizes that she missed out on a great guy, but you want to know what the worst part is? Franc left her a gift that she would forever remember. Any clues?
Just as you may be imagining, there was an STD involved, and it took many visits to the doctor for my friend to be healthy again. Through our girl talk, she was able to share with me how sleeping around isn’t good, especially if you are aware that the other person isn’t respecting you.
With maturity, Olivia has learned to live with her past, and of course, she has learned from her experience. I’ve often asked her if she would be tempted to do friends with benefits again.
Her response is quite simple: No. When you really love someone, it is important to be clear and truthful about your pasts, even if it is very dark.
Keep this in mind, the person who loves you will accept you just as you are. There isn’t anyone in this world who hasn’t made a mistake, and sometimes is better to deal with a hard truth than with a devastating lie.
In life, not everything will be perfect, but it’s important to learn from the things that weren’t so pleasant, while becoming better people.
Even though Olivia’s case depicts the reality of many women, it doesn’t define who she is. A mistake that was made when she was younger, didn’t stop her from trying to find love again.
College can sometimes be hard, and as incredible as this may seem, guys often feel ashamed of the way they treat women. Through friends, I learned that Franc treated women the way he did because of how he was raised.
Now that he’s older, perhaps he remembers Olivia as someone who brought light into his darkest nights. Having a friend, and giving this person certain benefits, isn’t always the best idea.
Sometimes, people become emotionally attached in relationships with friends. However, many women are afraid to share anything regarding their intimate encounters with people because they could be perceived as something that they’re not.
This is why it is important to be truthful and communicate in any relationship.
After graduation, Olivia had a daughter. Of course, I’m curious about what she’s going to teach her daughter regarding sex and friends with benefits. As a mother, her response is very simple: she doesn’t want for her daughter to go through the same thing she did.
This is why, she plans to be as open as she can with her little girl about sex. However, Olivia plans to share with her daughter how being influenced by friends is not the best thing.
Even though our relationship has transcended time, Olivia learned that not everyone is who they appear to be. As it turns out, many of her girlfriends knew about Franc, and an array of them were involved with him sexually without her knowing.
Throughout this time, Olivia has learned that love isn’t always what we feel, but rather actions that we see, and that destiny is full of unexpected turns that may lead us towards a path we never imagined.
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