Relationships are never easy and often we question whether or not we should break up and keep looking, or stick with what we have. The truth is, it’s hard sometimes to tell if you and your partner will be forever, but, here are seven very important things to look at if you’re looking towards the future with your man.
#1 It’s Equal and Sharing
A healthy relationship is equal and sharing. You should never feel “obligated” to your partner when he does something nice for you. If you purchase him a present, he shouldn’t have to buy one in return to even things out. One of the biggest red flags of my ex was that he felt it was necessary to buy me a gift of equal price whenever I got him something for his birthday. He wasn’t comfortable sharing or accepting.
Of course, if you’re living together then you have to share the bills. It won’t always be equal, but there shouldn’t be any guilt if one person pays more than the other because one person makes more than the other. In other words, you and your partner should share things willingly, both work equally hard on keeping things together, and feel comfortable and equal in the relationship without “money guilt”.
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#2 The Little Things
I have always said that any relationship can make it past the big things, but the little everyday things will drive you insane. Can you look past the way he chews with his mouth open? Can you get over the way he forgets to put the cap back on the toothpaste, or throws his clothes in a drawer without folding them?
In all honesty, if you can’t get past these things, and he’s not willing to change, you might want to reconsider your relationship. You have to live with this person, and sometimes it’s the little things that drive people apart (actually, it’s almost always those little things). If you’re man means more to you than his wrinkled clothing, then you probably have a future together. However, if he’s making you crazier everyday, then you might want to take a break for a moment and think about things.
#3 You Still Want to Be Together
If you and your guy have been together for years, and you still want to be together, then your relationship has a future. Wanting to be with each other is always the most important part of having a future together. Some relationships fizzle and burn out, but if you’re still going strong then you probably have a keeper.
#4 You Have Open Communication
You cannot have a relationship if you can’t communicate with each other. One of the most important things to remember is that your future with this person is accepting him as he is. You won’t be able to change him.
Because of that, you need to make sure this is someone you trust openly. If you cannot tell him everything that’s on your mind, then he might not be the one for you. Believe me when I say that many people cheat emotionally on their partner because they feel they cannot be open and honest with the person they’re with. Emotionally cheating is just as harmful as actually sleeping with someone else, so you need to make sure the guy you’re with is the guy you are able to share your thoughts and feelings and opinions with.
#5 You Think Alike
If you want to have a future together, you and your guy have to think alike. I don’t mean that you need to agree with everything all the time (that would be mind numbingly boring), what I mean is that you have to have the same goals.
If you want to travel the world and live a carefree life without children and a mortgage, but your man wants to settle down and have three kids and a mini-van, then it will be hard to compromise. You and your partner must have the same views on the future in order for your relationship to have a future.
#6 You Can Be Apart Too
One of the most important ways to know if your relationship has a future is by being apart from each other. It’s hard to deal with the little everyday crazies that couples put each other through, but it’s even harder to be apart.
Being able to be apart comfortably is the key. You have to trust each other. Sometimes, being away from your partner makes you happier. If that’s the case, then you need to rethink your future with this person. Sometimes, you feel completely insecure when you’re apart and you can’t stand it. This is also unhealthy and way too dependent. However, if you can be apart from each other, without it tearing you apart, then you and your guy have a healthy relationship.
#7 You Can Argue With Each Other
If you and your guy have never had an argument, then you need to sit down by yourself and think about your relationship. I’ll be the first to tell you that all couples argue…and it’s healthy. You should not be screaming and throwing things at each other, or fighting and calling each other names, but you do need to have an argument once in a while.
I dated a guy who I could never argue with. I felt like I was always walking on egg shells around him because he was overly sensitive and couldn’t handle a minor disagreement. That’s not a healthy relationship. You have to be able to have an argument and then get over it. If you can do that, without holding a grudge and without making it more than it is, then you probably have a future with this person.
It isn’t always easy to be in a relationship, but it’s even harder finding the right person to spend your future with. Tell us, how did you know you and your man were meant to be together?