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Dating can be quite exciting if you’ve found someone you match with, but it can also be energy draining. Here’re top reasons to take a break from dating.
Dating is an exhilarating roller coaster ride. You’d feel the euphoria when you’re meeting guys who seem to be great matches for you, those who spend time and effort to make you feel extra special.
You’d enjoy all the attention you’re getting, making you kind of delay giving your precious “Yes” to the greatest one because you’re thinking “Why to decide now when I can actually take my time?”.
On the flip side, it can be exhausting (mentally, emotionally, and physically) when you’re looking for that guy who’s worth all the trouble but you’re getting nothing but a string of bad dates (Trust us, we’ve been there, ladies!).
If you’ve been experiencing the latter, you’re in good company. Read up to the end of this article to discover top reasons to take a break from dating and why it is absolutely necessary and is the sanest thing you can do for yourself at this point.
More often than not, we want to be in a relationship not because we think it’s the right time but because we are pressured and influenced by external forces.
You may be longing to be in a relationship the soonest possible time because you are tired of being the third wheel during dates and trips with your gals who have partners.
Or it can be because you’re the only one left in your girl gang who doesn’t have a partner yet and seeing them looking happy being in a relationship makes you feel you’re lacking something.
Or you could be afraid you’ll end up alone in an apartment with no one but your antisocial cat. The point is you have your reasons for wanting to be in a relationship but here’s the thing: Unless it’s for the right reason, you’ll always be left dissatisfied, doubtful, weary, and craving for more.
Now you’re wondering what the “right reason” is. It will be different for everyone and you’ll only discover it when you take a break from dating and spend time with yourself first.
You may admit it or not but the truth is, when you’re dating, a huge part of your being is focused on your partner. You’re thinking of him all the time.
There are even moments when you base your self-worth on how well he treats you – and this is a big no-no. You can’t let any guy, no matter how great of a catch he is, decimate your self-worth and dignity.
If this has already happened to you, it’s an obvious reason to bid dating a temporary goodbye so you can recover your sanity.
You may not have noticed it but the more time you spend looking for a romantic partner in life, you unconsciously neglect the platonic relationships you’ve worked so hard for to have. Yes! We’re talking about your ever reliable and absolutely irreplaceable girl squad!
They’re there for you regardless of your relationship status and you’ll do well spending time with them when you’re not obsessed swiping to pictures of random guys left and right when you’re online. This you can only do if you take a break from dating for the time being.
Before you go out on a date with someone, you’d first spend time chatting, texting, and/or calling each other. This means that you are allotting your time to this person even if you are not sure as hell yet that it’s a decision you won’t regret later.
Now, if he turns out to be someone worth it, congratulations! You can surely expect some delightful return on investment in a few weeks or months.
But what if he turns out to be an asshole you only knew about through the movies you’ve watched during your Netflix and chill session with your lovely cat?
What if he’s the worst guy on the face of the earth? You’d surely end up frustrated, ready to give up on your search for Mr. Right. Your heart can only take so much so if you’re not having any luck lately, it’s the universe telling you to keep calm and take a break from dating. You’ll do well listening to obvious wisdom, pretty lady.
And no. This hard to swallow truth does not only apply to gentlemen but to us, ladies, too. In an effort to look hotter than we normally are when we’re at home and wearing our favorite sweatpants, we buy gorgeous LBDs, get our hair done at the salon, get our bodies waxed so we can be hair-free from head to toe, etc.
Now, these things are good if you’re doing it to pamper yourself when you can. However, if you’re doing it for the guys you’ll be going on a date with, it can be quite crazy. Why? Do some mental math and estimate how much all of this costs. Yeah, right.
If you would have saved this money, it’s enough to get you on a quick getaway out of town. So if you find yourself spending your hard-earned money lately so you can attract the right guy but it’s not going anywhere, stop.
Take a break from dating or it will take a hit on your finances. Spend this money on yourself (and your loyal cat) instead. You both deserve it than some random stranger you met on Tinder or OkCupid.
When you’re dating and looking to be in a relationship, there’s an image that you have to keep so you don’t send him running for the hills. Your apartment should be kept clean and smelling nice and fresh.
Your cat should look well-groomed as you. Your car should never be seen with the Chinese takeout leftovers the night before or the sweaty workout towels you’ve used a week ago.
The point is, you can’t be your authentic self sometimes during the early stage of dating. But if you take a break from it, you be your real (read: messy) self.
You can be on your favorite sweatpants and you can keep your hair in a messy bun, unwashed the whole weekend because that’s just how you chill and you should never be judged by any guy you meet on blind dates set up by your well-intentioned friends for it.
Yes, it’s not going to be rainbows and butterflies every day when you’re a single lady but hey! You’ve got to find the silver linings in the clouds, too.
That could be your already peaceful life even when you’re without a partner and alone, the fulfillment you find in the work you do, your gals who got your back, your talented cat, or just your strong and surviving self.
You’ve come this far and sometimes’ when you’re so obsessed with catching the big fish in the dating pool, you tend to forget it. But when you take a break from dating, you’ll realize that it’s only right that you give yourself the credit because you deserve it.
When you appear needy, clingy, and desperate to any of your dates, it’s unattractive. But when you portray yourself as someone contented and secure even without a man in your life, guys around will pay attention.
Their curiosity will be triggered by the self-contentment you display and that alone can challenge the right guys and send the cowards running away from you. This way, you were able to eliminate the bad ones already.
Purposeless serial dating can send you in an emotional roller coaster, leaving you hopeless, fraught with disappointment, and questioning your self-worth.
You’ll end up having what they call “dating fatigue”, the kind that leaves you with a weary soul and a broken heart. So before dating fatigue sets in, you know what you have to do as a person whose sanity is still intact: Take a break from dating.
Yes, it will be hard at the beginning but it’s a well-thought decision you’ll thank yourself for later after you have all the realizations you need to discover before you’re ready to jump in the dating pool again. Good luck!
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Maine Belonio is a twenty-something mom and writer who has a penchant for coffee, long distance running, Tolkien, Switchfoot, and Jesus.
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