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If you’re single, you’re probably thinking of finding a date online. You might worry what people would say, but you shouldn’t be ashamed of dating online.
Are you single? Have you ever created an online dating profile or downloaded a dating app? Chances are, you definitely have. You might not admit it, though.
You might lie to your friends about how you met your most recent ex-boyfriend or how you got the date that’s scheduled in your calendar for next Saturday night.
The truth is that there is really nothing wrong with looking for love online. In fact, it’s even better than you might think. Read on to find out why you shouldn’t be ashamed of dating online.
Okay, maybe not absolutely everyone. But online dating is definitely more normal and common than it was a while ago.
Think about why you’re ashamed of the fact that you have been looking for your soulmate on the Internet. Do you think that only cat ladies or super desperate people create online dating profiles?
While that might have been the case a few decades ago, that was only because online dating was seen as a last resort or it just wasn’t popular.
Now that there are so many dating websites and apps, it’s kind of strange if you’re not interested in trying the whole thing for yourself.
After all, as long as you have a date or two lined up and are trying your best to meet someone, what’s the problem? There really is nothing to be upset about.
If you met the perfect guy in high school or college, then you would probably be married to him by now… at least if that’s what you want.
That didn’t exactly happen, which is why you’re still single and still trying to find the right person.
That means that there is a legitimate reason for online dating. You’re on your own and you don’t necessarily want to be. You want to meet someone and you want to share your life with them.
You also don’t seem to meet any guys around your age in your everyday life. Maybe there are no guys at your office.
Maybe there are a few and you’ve dated them and it didn’t work out, or you don’t want to mix business with pleasure, or you’re not interested at all (which is totally fair, of course).
Maybe your friends and family have exhausted their list of who they can set you up with. And maybe those dates have been so horrible, you wouldn’t jump at the chance for them to introduce you to so-called eligible bachelors again, anyway.
If you’re not meeting anyone on a regular basis, then it makes sense that you would want to date online. Think of it in a logical way instead of wondering why you can’t look for love the old-fashioned, in-person way.
You can’t talk about online dating without talking about how much culture and society has changed in the past few decades.
Before, you were introduced to a family friend’s son or met someone through a group of friends. Sure, that still happens sometimes, but it’s not super common.
Why aren’t people meeting in person anymore? There are honestly so many reasons and everyone’s life is different, but in general, it seems like education and career choices have a lot to do with it.
People are getting more education now and staying in school for longer, which means spending several years studying and working super hard and that means not having a ton of time to date.
By the time you’re absolutely ready to date, you don’t know have a crush on anyone in real life, and it seems logical to head online.
So what do you do if you never meet guys your own age in your regular life? Do you just give up on dating and never go on any dates? No, you definitely don’t want to do that. You’re not going to be happy. And you’re going to wonder why you aren’t doing everything that you can in order to find love.
The truth is that if you don’t give into online dating, you might stay single without it. While it would be awesome if you could meet the kind of person that you’re looking for in your everyday life – at your regular yoga class, at your favorite bar, when browsing your go-to bookstore – that just might not happen.
So instead of daydreaming and letting your imagination run wild, try to stay rooted in reality. Don’t worry so much about how you’re dating and focus on actually going on dates and meeting new people.
Maybe your best friends are also single and are online dating and you share stories whenever you get together.
That should be super comforting and should remove any nerves or worry that you have about the whole thing, but maybe you’re still on the fence about admitting how you’re dating.
Or maybe your close friends are in relationships or even married, so you figure you can’t really open up about your own dating life.
Even if your friends aren’t dating this way, you definitely know people who are, even if they don’t tell you. How many times has your mom told you that her friend’s daughter is marrying a guy she met on Tinder?
Or you’ve noticed that someone you follow on Instagram is totally happy and in love and she met someone on Bumble or OkCupid? People absolutely meet this way and fall in love. It works, it’s normal, and it’s no big deal.
Here’s the final hurdle that you have to get through when you’re ashamed of online dating: you have to realize that it’s not really that bad.
You message a few people a few times a week, have some conversations, decide if you want to meet them in person, set up a date, and go meet them.
It’s really as simple as that. If you make it more complicated, that’s honestly on you, not the online dating site that you’ve signed up for.
Remember that this is just a way to meet people and focus on being yourself and getting to know someone, but also allow them to get to know you.
If you feel ashamed of online dating, the truth is that there is nothing to be concerned about. It’s just another way to meet someone, and if you find love, you will be thrilled that you took the leap and signed up for an online dating account.
Do you online date? Do you know a lot of people who are online dating? Share your thoughts with us in the comments below!
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Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor. She loves coffee, barre classes, 90s television and pop culture. She is a food blogger at A Healthy Story and shares gluten-free, dairy-free recipes and personal stories.
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