So you want to know if he is the right guy for you before you invest in him emotionally, do you? Did you know there are at least three purely visual ways you can tell if he is a good match?
Suzi Malin, in her book Love At First Sight: Why You Love Who You Love (Malin: 2004), establishes three interesting ‘Visual Love Categories’. By comparing thousands of pictures of famous couples, she noticed patterns which suggest that we initially fall in love with people visually. Yes – there is such a thing as love at first sight! Woohoo.
This is important because it means that if you have your eye on a guy, there are a few sneaky tests you can do to see if he is likely to fall in love with you instantly, or if it’s going to require more effort on your part to draw his attention to aspects of your personality he may be more likely to fall for.
Suzi suggests that the three ‘Visual Love Categories’ are:
TIP: If he has it all that’s probably why you have fallen head over heels for him, so check out if you also fall into all three categories and see if you are both a perfect match!
Of course, Love isn’t based entirely on appearances, because relationships are complicated and unpredictable. If you already in a relationship with a man, and want to know whether or not he is right for you before things start to get serious, here are a some important questions to ask yourself…
Put all soppy romantic and lusty sexual feelings aside for a second, and consider quite seriously whether or not he makes you happy. If he is right for you then you should be living a balanced and emotionally healthy lifestyle, with him enhancing your world, not encompassing it.
A healthy and long-lasting relationship requires two individuals who support each other personally, socially and professionally. Does your relationship have the following?
Whether these are religious beliefs or ideas of discipline methods for children, if there are obvious clashes and little flexibility then one or both of you are going to be stifled at some point, or indeed at many points during your relationship.
A healthy relationship is based upon like-minded attitudes. You don’t have to agree on absolutely everything, but significant or regular clashes are perhaps a sign that you’re not ideal partners. This doesn’t mean that you won’t be able to make a relationship work, but it will require more effort and understanding than most.
I have already said it’s okay to have different opinions or ways of doing things, but what is relevant is whether or not you communicate with each other with a clear level of caring and understanding, or whether you end up judging and criticizing each other.
Ask yourself the following questions and see if you and your partner have the right attitude for a long-lasting relationship…
Fun should be a natural everyday thing that occurs without you thinking about it. Life is too short to be serious all of the time. Having fun will keep you young and help you to enjoy life and each other even when times are tough.
If you both have a similar sense of humour and enjoy similar interests then you have a stronger chance of being happy long term, and also being able to get through hard times together. If you don’t really get each others sense of fun then you will have more of a challenge and will have to work harder at the relationship.
If you are dating someone new and you are still not sure whether or not he is right for you, here are some warning signs to watch out for…
Cover photo: www.tumblr.com
I am inspired by the ways people interact. Human behaviour and emotions are wonderfully complex, and I want to dig deeper and understand more. This is why I explore intimate relationships in my writing. (I’m also ever so slightly kinky.)