Ever wondered if your boyfriend is already over his ex-girlfriend? We did, too. Here are ways to know is he over his ex yet and what you should do about it.
Let’s be honest. You can never be sure that your boyfriend has a heart that beats only for you. It’s normal to wonder if he still has a piece of it reserved for his ex-girlfriend (Ouch!), especially if you’re starting to invest more of yourself in your relationship with him.
So before you sing “All of me loves all of you” wholeheartedly a la John Legend, look closely first to these tell-tale signs that will tell you is he over his ex or not.
If he brings up her name in almost all of your conversations, that’s a warning sign saying he is definitely not over her yet. Come to think of it. Why would he talk nicely or rant about her if he’s totally moved on, right?
He’s obviously not over her yet that’s why he keeps on mentioning her when topics that strike a connection with her is being talked about. As his current girlfriend, it’s only right to call him out on it.
If he listens and changes for the better, you’ve got a man worth staying for. If he doesn’t, then you know you’ve got leave for someone who can devote their full attention and whole heart to you.
No, you don’t have to go snooping on his phone or laptop when he’s not looking. All you have to do is look at his social media account online or around his apartment.
If he hasn’t taken down any photos of her or them together (both online and offline), it could be because he’s still not over her yet.
Loving girlfriends clean their significant other’s crib once in a while. On an occasion when you cleaned his mess, you found lipsticks, undergarments, and other stuff that obviously are not your boyfriend’s property. Chances are they’re hers.
Exactly what they are doing lying everywhere in his apartment is a question you need to ask him. His answer will tell you what your next step should be.
Snooping is never cool but on instances when you use his laptop or you sit right across his desktop and his browser history is clear, it can mean that he’s hiding something from you.
On the flip side, if he doesn’t delete his searches and it appears that he’s keeping tabs of her online, visiting her Facebook timeline or her blog (if any), it’s another honest sign he’s still obsessed with her.
That hurts, we know, but you do what you have to do fierce lady! Fight for what you deserve and if he can’t give it to you (or if he’s not even willing to try to), then that’s him telling you he still loves her.
You know something is up if he’s still getting text messages and private messages from her and he’s responding back (or vice versa), telling you not to be bothered.
When he tells you this, you can be sure you have reason to be bothered. If they’re former lovers and if the flame has long been gone then why on earth do they still engage in “friendly” chats from time to time, right?
Nobody becomes BFF with the person they used to sleep with so be really alarmed if he has told you this in the past. It may mean that it is really difficult for her not to be a part of his life so he finds a new role for her to fill in his instead (in this case, she becomes his “BFF”).
So he got the job he’s been eyeing for a long time and the person he calls first will tell you who he prioritizes (and truly loves). If you’re the first one he rings up, you can relax.
That means you’re the first person that came to his mind after receiving the good news. On the flip side, if his ex-girlfriend founds out before you do, that means he’s told her first and consequently, she may be first in his heart instead of you.
If she contacts him whenever something goes wrong at her apartment and he rushes to her aid, it can mean two things. He’s just a really nice guy who wants to help (and that’s okay except when he’s being taken advantaged of already) or he still wants to save her because he still feels the same way for her.
How do you know which is which? Ask him. It’s better to hear it directly from him than jump to crazy conclusions, right?
It doesn’t matter if it’s just a corporate event or a wedding. He’s got no business being her plus one if he’s already with you.
So call him out on this in the most loving way possible so you know who he will choose. You don’t have business staying with someone who’s stuck in the past and won’t choose you over and over.
This is normal except when he is the one making you feel that way. So if he tells you directly or he gives you subtle hints, you know you’re with the wrong guy and there’s nothing left to do but to exit the relationship while you’re still sane.
Or else, you may end up staying with someone who clearly hasn’t moved on yet and that will cause more problems than you’d be willing to deal with in the long run. You don’t want that headache and heartache, do you?
An ex is an ex for a reason. There’s no reason for an ex to be a part of your present. Having said so, if he acts like she is still a part of his life, it’s highly possible that it’s what he wants.
It’s disrespectful to you as his current girlfriend so call him out for his behavior. If he doesn’t improve after you’ve given him the chance and you still continue to have fights because of her then your boyfriend isn’t worth what you’re offering him. Leave.
It’s quite painful to spend and invest your time, resources, and love in a guy who’s not over his ex-girlfriend yet. So make no mistake.
If any of these signs is evident on your boyfriend, be sure to have a talk with him to figure things out. If he truly loves you, he’d be honest and be willing to work things out for the betterment of your relationship. If he doesn’t, let him go.
He’s not worth your beautiful heart. More importantly, you don’t want to wait around someone who’s not sure about you. That’s a complete waste of time and while it’s definitely okay if you’d want to wait and give him a chance, you have to set your boundaries and respect them.
Don’t cross the line you’ve drawn as doing so will be unfair and disrespectful to you. Good luck!
Maine Belonio is a twenty-something mom and writer who has a penchant for coffee, long distance running, Tolkien, Switchfoot, and Jesus.
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