“You are such a great girl. You are pretty, intelligent and independent. You deserve better. I don’t want to hold you back. It’s not you, it’s me. I’m not ready for a relationship.” Does this sound familiar?
Undoubtedly, this is the number one excuse women will hear right before they are dumped. Studies have shown that most people are, in fact, ready for a long term commitment after the age of 22, even though exceptions are allowed. So if this is true, then the popular excuse does not make much sense.
Nevertheless, there are some questions that remain. Is he really not ready? Is this really the reason? Can we just take it for granted, and accept this excuse? Is it really him? Well, technically yes. It is possible that he really isn’t ready for a relationship. It’s just that over time, we all concluded the following – the “I’m not ready” excuse lacks its ending. What he really meant by that, was “I’m not ready for a relationship…with you.”
Knowing this, we actually got to the bottom of this problem. So, the basic idea is, that he is more than ready, for a commitment, but for some reason not with you. Once we removed the top layer, the real reasons behind his actions are revealed, and these are the top 7 reasons guys cited when asked why they ended their relationships:
Women also decide to break it off as soon as someone new shows up. Men are no different. He found someone new. Maybe he had been on the look, maybe it just happened. It could be that he is a serial monogamist who had been on the prowl for quite some time before he decided to end it with you. He could have also made a mistake.
The odds are that you’ll never know the real reason behind it. Bottom line, there’s someone else in his life, and that is why the two of you are over.
I’m not saying you are to blame; in fact it’s quite the opposite. Let us return to the beginning of this feature. It’s really not you. It’s him. Or better yet, it’s you with him. It could be that he’s just not being himself around you for whatever reason. It may be that your personalities clash, or that the two of you are just not capable of bringing out the best in each other.
A relationship is not an one-way street. Maybe he just managed to come to terms with the fact that with you, he is not the kind of man he wishes to be. Maybe it’s for the best.
This one could be your fault. Men end their relationships when they feel like they are being lied to. No one likes to be deceived and taken for a ride. If you haven’t been exactly honest with him, that may have triggered his decision to leave you.
This may sound a little overwhelming, and it can even freak you out, but guys sometimes look way ahead of things. Everybody thinks that you, as the girl, are the one picturing the wedding dress in your head on the first date, imagining a house with a garden, and your vacations together.
However, you may not be the only one with great expectations. Yes, he also wants a boy and a girl, but apparently you don’t fit that family picture somehow. Why does he have to think about distant future and look for you in it? We’ll probably never know.
Maybe, it’s social pressure, maybe it’s his need to settle down, and maybe he’s afraid that you won’t love him when he’s grey and old. Whatever the future is, if you are not in it, it’s good that he ended it in the present.
We could start a debate here on how important sex is in a relationship, and never see the end of it. It is important. For some guys too important. A number of them cited the low sex drive in their partners, as the number one reason for ending a relationship.
He wants you to have time for him. Guys are attention seekers, and many of them can’t cope with you being busy, and not being able to dedicate your time, and yourself, to them.
You know those couples that fight all the time over literally everything? It is very likely that he will dump you when you become that couple. Having your opinions defer is one thing, but fighting every day can be exhausting and draining. Guys tend to escape relationships of this sort.
No matter what the reason was, he made his decision. You two are through. Don’t play the blame game. It’s no one’s fault. We all know that “you deserve better” translates to “I deserve better” and “I don’t want to hold you back” is in fact “I want to move on”.
It’s in our nature to be a little selfish, and self-centered. Maybe you’ll be thanking him later. Sometimes broken roads can take you to the most amazing places.
Lisa is a young lawyer with various interests and hobbies to keep her mind off her work at times. She is a true fan of contemporary American literature, European movies, Asian food, African Wildlife and all those little things in life that make us genuinely happy.