Before man created language, mobile phones, make-up and push-up bras, men and women still managed to find a way to communicate attraction. Attraction is the most natural thing on the planet and yet for some reason we are stumped when it comes to understanding the opposite sex.
Human society has become so complicated and detached from our natural human instincts that we have become used to sending out mixed signals, and used to feeling confused about what the behaviour of the people we are attracted to means.
What if I told you that the most effective way to flirt with a guy is to get in touch with your natural animal instincts, and that you don't need chat-up lines or long-winded methods of seduction to get the message across?
What if the secret to hooking your guy is all in the way you use your body, not just as a sexual lure, but as a means of tapping into his subconscious natural reactions and forming a physical, intimate and unspoken connection? Sound sexy? It is! In order to understand exactly how powerful a weapon your body really is, let's divide it up and look at each part separately. To keep it simple, there are three main areas that you can focus on…
Above the neck – This means your face, your eyes, your mouth, and your hair.
Your hands – These are important because they allow you to establish physical contact through touch!
Your body – The rest of your body is important to consider as a whole as well as in sections because not only does it represent your sexuality and femininity, the way you hold and present your body when you interact with people says a lot about your personality.
Above the Neck
From afar a man will naturally take in an image of your overall body, and this initial impression will probably be a sexual one. Up close however, you want his attention to be on your face because this is how you will communicate to him who you are.
Many women make the mistake of accentuating their sexual body parts with revealing clothing like low-cut tops and short skirts with high heels, but really all this does is take his attention away from who you really are which will make it more difficult to establish any real mental connection with him.
One of the most important things in learning how to flirt with a guy is to be confident using eye contact. If you can catch his eyes with your eyes for long enough, then you will have caught his attention, because you will have initiated the beginnings of an intimate mental connection.
Eye contact is also a useful way to figure out if he is interested in you so that you don't waste your time or cause an awkward situation. If he looks away or seems disinterested – then you will know.
The Three Rules of Eye Contact
- If you stare you will freak him out. The stalker look is not attractive. The secret to establishing effective eye contact is to be able to hold a look just long enough for him to notice your attention before looking down or away.
- When you look away, make sure that you sneak another look back at him to see if he is still looking at you. If he's not, you might want to wait until he is, and then bite your lip and look down. The whole ‘bite your lip and look down' thing can be very cute when done well, and it gives the guy a bit of control so that he isn't too intimidate by you initiating eye contact. Every guy like a bit of shy in a girl because essentially it reflects modesty which is endearing, as opposed to arrogance.
- Throw in a smile to ease everyone's nerves and break the tension! You don't want to scare him or yourself away after all, and eyeball tennis can be a bit intense without a bit of a smile. You don't want to come across as hostile or ruse either. A smile will give him the confidence to approach you, or encourage him to be more open when you approach him.
There are other ways you can use your face and hair to flirt with him…
Hair is feminine, and playing with your hair, especially around the neck is sexy. It may sound like a cliche, but if you can do it naturally then you are guaranteed to direct his line of vision to areas that represent your femininity i.e. your neck and jawline, and your sexuality i.e. your collar bone and cleavage.
TIP: If you tie your hair up, lifting your arms to do so will draw his attention naturally to your chest without having to wear low cut tops with your breasts hanging out or push-up bras.
Lips can be a visual turn-on for a guy. If you catch a guy watching your mouth while you talk to him chances are he finds you sexually attractive. Use your mouth to flirt by keeping your lips subtle and your teeth clean and white. The most effect way to flirt with your mouth is to smile! Don't be afraid to show all of your teeth. It will send out subconscious signals that you are an honest and open person, and fun to be around!
How to Use Your Hands to Flirt with Him
Once you have got his attention, take things to the next level by introducing touch. Often it can be quite surprising to be touched during conversation.
Some cultures are more tactile than others, but if a guy likes you he will notice when you touch him! The trick is to keep it simple and natural. Touching is about enhancing that mental connection and combining it with a physical connection.
If you can make a joke and express it by touching him lightly on the arm, establishing eye contact and smiling before pulling away, you will have succeeded in sparking an intimate moment between you. The more you can do it, the more comfortable and at ease he will become, and the sooner he will feel confident enough to express his own feelings. You can also use your hands to draw attention to other things.
You can touch his arm for instance and then express your surprise at feeling his muscles – this is inadvertently a subtle compliment and a confidence boost for him. You can put your hand on your knee after touching him and draw his attention to your sexy legs if you want, or you can bring his attention back to your mouth by touching your own face or lips. It's all about simple, natural body awareness, and subtle subconscious messages. Use your hands like magic hypnotic wands to lead his eyes wherever you please!
Flirt with Your Entire Body
Body language is primarily about what your body is saying about you as a person. Are you open and inviting, or closed and unapproachable? Fun and fluid, or serious and controlled? Think about what sort of message you want to give to the guy you are flirting with.
You might want to portray a natural air of mystery because you are a bit shy, and there is nothing wrong with being true to your personality, in fact I advise it because then you are more likely to attract the people who are right for you! If you are specifically flirting with a guy to show him that you like him though, it is useful to use your body in the following ways…
Allow your chest to face him when you are talking. Even if your legs are crossed away from him and your head is turned, make sure you turn your chest towards him to. This will give off the signal that you want to connect on a meaningful level. The more you can face him with your body the better. Don't let your body be a barrier!
Lean your body in towards him when you are talking. You don't have to be constantly leaning in as if you are hard of hearing, but if you lean in every now and then it will feel like you want to share something only with him which will create a sense of intimacy. It will also be physically exciting for him as he will probably be able to feel your body heat, and smell you. Your natural body odor will drive him wild if he is attracted to you!
Hold yourself tall and proud. A girl who sits and stands naturally upright exudes confidence. Don't hunch your shoulders because it gives the mental impression of you cowering away. You want you body to appear open and inviting.
When you hold your body well you will benefit from a natural posture which will also accentuate all your natural womanly attributes. Your back will arch in a relaxed manner pushing your chest out and lifting your head up so that your hair falls back out of your eyes.
Your spine will naturally curve at the base showing off the natural shape of you bum and legs. It's the way nature intended you to attract your man, so make the most of it!