Dating

What To Do If He Is A Bad Kisser

You've met an amazing guy and things were going great - until he kissed you. Don't be sad. Give him another chance. Here's what to do if he is a bad kisser.

You might think you’ve found the perfect guy, he’s romantic and considerate, sexy and stimulating, you talk for hours, and he has the most incredible, perfect mouth you have ever seen on a man… but wait!

Nothing is set in stone, least of all before you have experienced the kiss. This isn’t just something that teenagers have to fear, the bad kisser exists in every age bracket, and nothing will ever prepare you for the time your so-called Mr. Perfect mutates into a dog and starts licking the entire bottom half of your face.

It happens.  It really does.  Most women are mercenary.  A kiss like that is date-kill.  But ladies, I think we should be more forgiving.  Believe it or not, there are ways to tame a man who is mistaking your face for an ice-cream; just like there are ways to get your guy to touch you the way you like to be touched and tease you the way you like to be teased…

Why Bother With a Bad Kisser?

What to Do If He Is a Bad Kisser

I’m not saying that you have to put up with a hickey on your chin, Charlotte knew where to draw the line with that horrific scenario.  There may be reasons, however, as to why your new man is kissing with such a funky style.  It may be that no girl has ever had the balls to tell him that he is a bad kisser!

If this is the case, then you could be the girl that does him and the next girl a big fat favor, simply by bringing his attention to the fact that women don’t like to be slobbered over, because it’s not sexy.

I once brought a guy home after a date, he was very cute and I had fancied him for ages.  We sat on the edge of my bed and I was lapping up that agonizing anticipation of what was going to happen next.

He leaned in for a kiss and I happily closed my eyes… but they soon snapped open when I realized that his mouth must be a lot larger than I thought because my chin was getting pretty damn wet.

I pulled away and discreetly wiped my face before trying again, this time attempting to open my mouth wider to stop him from wetting my chin so much… big mistake, he must have thought it was his cue to go in with the tongue, and boy did he go in!

That guy had a big tongue.  I was so embarrassed by all the saliva on my face that I had to excuse myself to go to the bathroom. I needed a towel.

I stared at my face in the mirror completely baffled, surely he can see the amount of spit he had deposited on my face?  I felt like I had just given him a blowjob with a rather messy ending!  But this was a guy I had fancied for ages, and I’m a bit stubborn.

I wasn’t going to say goodbye to my prize after weeks of fantasizing, without a little bit of effort.  So we settled down to watch a film, and when the next kiss came in for the kill, I flirtatiously played a bit of hard to get, letting him slobber down my neck for a bit, which I can’t say was all that pleasant either, but when he came back to my face I simply said I wasn’t used to being kissed with so much enthusiasm!

I suggested I show him what I like.  He didn’t take offense.  All good.  (I guess I was secretly thinking that I’d probably like what his mouth and tongue could do a bit further south if you get my drift… sadly our relationship never got that far.)

Another reason that a new guy might be coming on a little too strong, is that he actually finds your kissing technique somewhat passive to what he’s used to.  He may be over-compensating to give you a hint.  Don’t ask me about the weird ways guys try to communicate with women… I haven’t researched that one yet!  It is easy to forget that previous relationships and experiences can imprint on us what we think is a good kiss because it is what we have gotten used to.

Kissing someone new for the first time is exciting and scary because you really don’t know what to expect.  Often our expectations are built up to such an extent that the guy doesn’t stand a chance!  And remember, nerves can also affect the way a kiss plays out.  A first kiss can only get better, surely?

5 Things You Can Do if He is a Bad Kisser

What to Do If He Is a Bad Kisser

  • Perhaps the worst bad kiss experience is when a guy has bad breath.  He might not have a medical condition that is causing the bad breath, it might just be a bit garlicky after the Indian meal you both just had, in which case, your own breath is probably not so sweet either!  Just keep mints and gum on you, and when you have one, offer him one too.
  • Sometimes guys don’t go for gum, so you should keep a selection of mints and sweets.  Sometimes you can even disguise the aroma coming from his mouth by saturating your own mouth with something fruity.  A little trick I like to try is to have a chewy sweet in my mouth when he goes to kiss me, and use it as a sexy kind of tug-of-war game… just make sure he gets most of the sweet in his mouth by the end of the game!  Sneaky, but very effective, and he will want to do it again next time, in fact, he will probably already have the sweet in his mouth first.
  • There’s nothing worse than dry pursed lips, but it’s easily fixed by lightly running your tongue over his lips and coaxing them open with your own.  Once a guy even did this to me!  I knew my lips were dry and I hadn’t expected him to kiss me at that moment, so when he licked my lips to moisten them I recognized the technique immediately, and I didn’t mind, so neither will your guy!  In fact, I kind of appreciated the gesture.
  • If you find that you have the ‘teeth-clashing’ problem, the issue is that he is just a wee bit too eager, or forceful.  You must take control!  He needs to know that you own this kiss, not him, and you’re going to do it the way you like it.  You will find that as soon as a guy clocks on to your dominatrix energy, his submissive role will tone him right down and he’ll be putty in your hands.  How do you do it?  Very simple, use your hands, push his head back, look him directly in the eyes, kiss him with your lips and mean it, then pull back but keep his head where you want it.  Look him in the eyes again, smiling a wicked little grin.  You can even wink if you want.  Don’t be afraid to take control of a kiss with your hands.  Push him back against a wall, hold his head where you want it to stay, he’ll think it’s hot, he probably won’t even realize why you’re doing it.  If he has hair don’t be afraid to grab it, you don’t have to be rough, just assertive enough for him to know that you’re dominating, and you’re calling the shots.
  • Don’t you just hate it when you kiss a guy and his hands go straight for your boobs?  Or worse… in between your legs!  A kiss doesn’t always mean you want sex.  I used to go out with a guy who thought that every kiss leads to sex.  It was just what he had always experienced.  To him kisses were passionate, they gave him a hard-on and so he went all the way.  I had to explain to him that just because his genitals were ready, it didn’t mean that mine were… you can’t rush these things, love!  And why would you want to?  If you can’t talk to your man about it, get into the habit of keeping kissing sessions short and sweet.  Kissing in public is good practice for a guy too, his hands can’t go to your pleasure zones if you’ve got an audience.  If they do, then you have every right to have a word with him!

Share your ‘bad kiss experiences’ and solutions in the comment section below!

About the author

Scarlett Robinson

I am inspired by the ways people interact. Human behaviour and emotions are wonderfully complex, and I want to dig deeper and understand more. This is why I explore intimate relationships in my writing. (I’m also ever so slightly kinky.)

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