If, by any chance, you haven’t watched the series (you definitely should) or if you just want to summarize what you’ve learned, here are some sex tips inspired by Samantha from Sex and the City.
1. Sex is a Big Deal!
How many times have I heard that women fake orgasms just to keep their partner’s illusion of being a great lover, or just to get it over with. If you are having sex just to get it over with, or just to keep someone’s illusions, you will end up frustrated. Sex is a big deal! It simply is! As well as love and respect! Would you be in a relationship with a person who doesn’t love you? Or respect you?
So why are you in a relationship if the sex is not ok. If your partner gets pleasure from your sexual skills you have the right to get it too from his skills. If you don’t, ask yourself what’s there for you in that bed. “F*** me badly once, shame on you. F*** me badly twice, shame on me”
2. Seek Your Own Pleasure
Sex requires two people (at least) and both (or more) need to be satisfied. It is important that you reach the orgasm, as well as it is important that your partner does, it’s what your body yearns for, every time you have sex, so don’t say never mind. As well as in a relationship, giving and taking go hand in hand, if one of them is missing something is seriously not right. Your pleasure is equally important as your partner’s. “When I RSVP to a party I make it my business to come,” says Samantha.
3. Practice Makes Perfect
“Easy?! You men have no idea with what we’re dealing down there: teeth placement and jaw stress and suction and gag reflex and all the while bobbing up and down and moaning while trying to breathe through our noses! Easy?! Honey, they don’t call it a job for nothing.“
If you think you’ve mastered it all, think again. Sex is not hard, but if you want your sex to be amazing and exciting again and again, well you have to work hard. Try new things, inform yourself in one way or another (the internet, books, sharing experiences) and, above all, practice, practice and more practice. Enjoy!
4. Enjoy Your Sexuality
If you are ashamed or afraid of your sexuality, and worry too much what others would say you’ll never fully enjoy sexual pleasures. Samantha tells Carrie: “I will not be judged by you or society. I will wear whatever and blow whomever I want as long as I can breathe or kneel.“
Somebody would think she is exaggerating, but that is the way she lives. She wouldn’t cut down on sex because somebody else thinks so, as well as the person of her character wouldn’t have more sex because the same somebody else thinks so. Sexuality is a personal thing, and all adults have the right to do whatever they want with it.
Cover photo: chelseagirl-m.blogspot.com