Falling in love with a friend certainly has its pros and cons. Should you risk a great friendship for something that might not work out? Read on to find out
Crossing that line from friendship into romance can be downright terrifying. It’s a big decision that requires some thought.
If you do take the risk and start dating your close friend, you both put yourself in a position where you could lose each other. Depending on how much you value your friendship, it might not be worth it.
Ultimately, it comes down to how you both feel about each other and whether you are willing to put your friendship on the line.
Here are some of the risks attached to falling in love with a friend.
Unless they state otherwise, there’s a chance that the feeling isn’t mutual, and you’ve misinterpreted their friendly behavior as something more. If you decide to take the risk and tell them about your feelings, you put yourself in a vulnerable position.
For a while, things would be very awkward between you two. When the other person is aware of your feelings, it could change the dynamic of your friendship and that’s something that can be hard to get back on track.
Of course, they might feel the same way and in that case, you won’t regret speaking up about your feelings. It’s a 50/50 situation.
Skipping the “getting to know you” stage can be seen as a good and bad thing. Meeting someone new is usually nerve-wracking, so at least you get to avoid that completely.
You already know each other so well, which means that there’s a sense of familiarity and comfort about them that puts you at ease.
However, you’re missing out on the exciting first stages of a relationship. That’s what the first few dates are for – getting to know someone better. You need to decide whether this is something that bothers you or not.
Again, you could see this as a good and bad thing. This is the person who you share your horrendous date stories with, the person who you laugh with regularly, the person who just seems to “get” you more than others.
You have a strong connection with this person, which has only intensified any feelings you had for them, to begin with. However, the fact that they already know so much about you could be seen as a negative.
When you’re dating someone new, you’re intrigued to find out more about them. The more you learn, the more fascinating they become. It’s interesting to learn about someone’s interests, quirks, and dreams and gradually form more of an attraction towards them.
But you’ve already skipped past that stage. It doesn’t mean that you can’t have a great relationship, but it’s something to consider before you take the leap.
As friends, you get along really well. But would you be compatible as partners? The dynamic completely changes as soon as you take it further than just being friends.
You have to consider whether you only like the idea of dating him, or whether there’s something more. There’s no telling what kind of partner he would be – he might not be for you.
You see, you’ve been friends for so long that the idea of doing couple-type things with them makes you feel quite uncomfortable and embarrassed.
It might feel like the most natural thing in the world, or it could feel forced. That’s the risk you have to take. When you cross that line from being friends to being lovers, you have to accept that the chances of you going back to how things were are very slim.
At the moment your relationship is platonic, so it’s difficult to tell if there’s the potential for amazing chemistry or whether you are simply better off staying friends.
The main reason why you have an amazing friendship is that you are completely comfortable around each other. With them, you never have to hide who you are.
If you start dating, there’s no telling what might happen. It might strengthen the bond you already had or it could make you feel uneasy.
Usually, you would confide in your friend about anything. But if the problem is your relationship, you might not feel as comfortable talking to them about it.
It’s not something that you would usually think about. You share stories about your past relationships, the encounters you’ve had and embarrassing moments that you might not usually tell a partner.
That just demonstrates how comfortable you are around each other. Except now things have changed.
They know your dating history, especially the things you would be embarrassed mentioning to someone you’re romantically involved with, and that can make it quite awkward.
Unfortunately, you have to accept what you’ve told him and most past it. After all, if you can’t laugh about it together, then it’s probably not a good idea to get into a relationship.
Even though you think you know them, you don’t really know what they would be like as a partner.
Your friendship is comfortable and you hardly ever argue simply because it feels like you don’t have anything to disagree on. There are no expectations.
When you start dating, problems will crop up. You’ll see a side to them that you’ve probably never seen before. And no doubt you’ll argue about things that you wouldn’t usually argue about.
The truth is you don’t really know just how needy, argumentative, or controlling a person is until you are a couple. That’s when you start discovering new sides to them.
There’s nothing more heartbreaking than losing a close friend and a partner at the same time. It will almost feel like you’ll never get over the pain of losing them.
If they don’t reciprocate your feelings, it could be the end of a friendship. You’ll regret opening up to them about how you feel, but you’ll regret it more if you didn’t take a chance.
And if you do start dating but then decide that it’s not what either of you wants, chances are, you won’t be able to just be friends because you’ve been through too much.
Of course, you might gain something even better, but are you prepared to sacrifice a really good friendship? It’s one of the hardest decisions to make.
In fact, losing a friend is probably your biggest concern right now. Despite how you feel, you think it would be better for both of you if you try to bury your feelings. At least you would still have them in your life.
If you’re not 100 percent sure about your feelings, then perhaps you should hold back for a while. You need to be confident in what you want before you risk your friendship.
Whatever decision you make, you need to make it soon. Otherwise, you could be letting a good thing slip away.
Coralle is a freelance writer and blogger who talks about various topics from relationships, love, health and freelance writing. She's currently writing a book.
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