We dream to fall in love and start a family and we spend our life looking for someone who would complete us. What will happen when you stop living like that?
From a young age, we find ourselves surrounded by movies, stories, and families telling us that the best thing in life is finding love. I’m not saying they’re wrong in any way because there’s something really special about finding a person you can spend your life with. With that being said, there is more to life than just finding someone to be with.
We’ve all had a person whom we thought was “The One,” the person we were just meant to be with. Of course, we were usually only in middle school or high school by the time we met the person. We made our entire lives all about that person. Building up the courage to even just talk to that person, and freaking out when that person, somewhat, gave us the time of day.
How old were you when you looked back and wondered what you ever saw in that person in the first place? The same person you once spent all your time obsessing over is now the person you look at and cannot fathom what it was you liked in the first place. So much of your time was wasted on that person. There are so many other things to do besides try to find someone, just for the circle to happen all over again.
What happens if we decide to live life like we will never find the one? Or living like it doesn’t matter what happens if we meet that person or not? To be honest with you, probably some pretty great things. Let’s look at some of the things that could happen.
When you don’t focus your entire life on finding someone else to try to fill it, you learn so much about yourself. Instead of focusing on what you can do to make other people happy, you should try to find things that make you happy.
You never really realize how much you don’t know about yourself until you have all the time in the world to figure it out. Not focusing on finding love opens up your mind to more things than just that.
We are so focused on finding love that we see in the movies we watch or the books that we read. What we need to realize is that that love story was made up by someone, based on their fantasies, which become ours as well. That is what they are. They give us expectations about how relationships should be, when most times real relationships are nothing like it.
That does not go to say that relationships can’t be great and healthy, but you can’t expect your relationships to be exactly how they are in that one movie you’ve watched so many times that you can recite it word for word.
When you live like you’re not going to find anyone, you learn that your life doesn’t have to revolve around falling in love. You learn that there is more to life than just the chase. It gives you time to calm down a bit and see that you don’t need to revise yourself to fit the standards of other people. You get the chance to be truly yourself.
We are obsessed with trying to do things to make people like us. We tend to not act like ourselves in the hopes that people will want to be with us based on what we can pretend to be instead of the people we actually are. I continually bring up being ourselves because learning how to be yourself unapologetically is the key to true happiness. Caring about changing yourself needs to be left in high school. We’re told for it now.
If you have to pretend to be someone else to make someone like you, then that person isn’t the person you should even want to be around.
You’ll learn to see just how ridiculous it is to care about everything you say and do to people. It lifts a weight off of your shoulders physically and mentally because you’re not constantly stressing yourself out.
This, I swear, will free up a lot of your time. By learning more about yourself, you’re bound to find more things that interest you as well. You begin to look for things to use up your time, and even start to be more willing to things you were once too afraid to do. There’s something very cool that happens when you let stress go. It makes you into a different person, one whom you will like a lot better. You’re going to be yourself, but just a better version.
Shifting your focus from relationships onto anything else means that you’re going to want something new and exciting. We have to face the fact that we all love the chase, whether it be with hook ups or relationships. There’s something exciting about figuring out if someone is interested in you or not. It draws us in, constantly. Since you’re no longer focusing on chasing people, chase adventures instead. You have so many opportunities to do something you never thought you’d be able to do.
The best things come to those who wait. We’ve all heard the phrase, and probably all equally dislike it. It’s true. When you don’t actively look for something, it tends to drop right in the palm of your hands, and it also tends to be exactly what you didn’t know you needed.
Most times, we get into relationships that we aren’t ready for. Or relationships that we shouldn’t be in. The best people are ones who we don’t expect to come into our lives. Most times they’re not even the people we thought we’d end up with in the first place.
Living like you will never find love doesn’t mean that you will never find it. It just means that you live your life to try to excel in every aspect, not just in love and relationships.
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Hey, I'm Myranda. I'm an absolute hopeless romantic. I've always loved writing about subjects that will hit close to home, and make people really think more deeply about themselves. I show myself through my writing, as well as my photography.
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