Dating

5 Surefire Ways to Ruin a First Date

Do any of the following things and have him running for the hills before you’ve even had dessert. No, seriously, there are fireproof ways of completely and utterly ruining not only your date, but also any possible chance of you ever talking to the guy, let alone seeing him again. So, stay clear of these! Or, you know, don’t, if for some reason you want to make your first date your last one too.

#1 Look Terrible

OK, first thing’s first, you can either look a complete mess, or go overboard and go for what they call a hot mess kind of look. Your choice really, both will damage the first impression enough. And first impressions DO count no matter how superficial it may sound, as soon as we take a good look at someone we judge them. It’s how it is with us people we just can’t get rid of prejudice.

#2 Be Late, Very Late

Next thing you simply have to do is arrive late. And not just a couple of minutes, traffic jam late, but really late. Don’t apologize. Don’t even acknowledge you’ve done something that’s rude and says you care about your date about as much as you care about Asian Giant Tortoise being nearly extinct. Yep, that’s a good example.

#3 Be Obnoxious

couple ordering from menu

So now that you’re there you can really start cooking things up. Let’s assume you’re at a restaurant just for the sake of argument. Obviously you’re going to order some alcoholic beverage, just to loosen up a bit, get your awesome on. An expensive one of course. Continue on that path and go on to order whatever the hell you feel like eating, the pricier the better. You’re not paying for it, you’re allowed to splurge! If he by any chance decides he wants to you to split the bill, after the disaster date, you can just say you forgot your wallet at home, no biggie.

#4 You, the Terrible

While ordering, don’t forget to treat the staff with the utmost disrespect. Or you can go the other way and have a little flirt with your waiter. In a very obvious manner of course, you don’t want your behavior to be mistaken with sheer politeness. Put on a show, go all out.

Now let’s focus on him, your date, a bit. Oh the ways you can epically fail there! The possibilities are endless.

#5 Talk

smiling woman on a date

About whatever comes to mind, no need to think about it, or censor anything you say, not even the slightest. Just talk. Does he remind you of you ex-boyfriend? They have the same shirt? Hair? Simile? Share it! I’m sure he’d love to know. Not just that, but maybe a funny story about your ex? Why the hell not. By then you should have drank your first drink and ordered a new one. Just enough to get you going!

Also talk about yourself. A lot. It’s a date he should be getting to know you. Make sure to start every sentence with ‘I’, and to never leave even a second for him to respond to what you’re saying.

Make assumptions. Call him your boyfriend. Laugh uncontrollably, if at all possible with your mouth filled with food. Answer your phone. Talk about him while on the phone. Ok, ok, I may have went a bit overboard trying to stress my point here, but you catch my drift.

It could all be a lot of fun. I for one would love to see how things would go down if there were no social boundaries, censorship, nervousness, or just plain common sense. But that’s not how things work is it?

About the author

Mina

I like sarcasm, coffee, quotes and Audrey H. I hate clammy handshakes. Restless and violently happy most of the time. Sometimes i get the mean reds. "You see things and say - why? I see things and say - why not?"

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