The 7 Rules for Texting a Guy You Like

Are you wondering what the protocol is for texting a guy you like? Do you sit by the phone for hours on end watching and waiting for him to text first? Are you agonizing over what to say and when to say it? Well, before you send off that first “hey, sup?” here are the 7 rules for texting a guy you like.

Texting is a problem that no other time in history has ever had to deal with. Unlike letters of love, a text is both personal and impersonal; it’s instant and once it’s sent you can’t go chasing the messenger to try and get it back.

Because texting is a new social phenomenon in the dating world, there’s still so much confusion over the etiquette of texting a guy you like. It isn’t always as clear cut as it seems, and, of course, every man is different, but here are 7 guaranteed rules of texting that are universal no matter what kind of guy you have the hots for.

#1 Don’t Text First

If you and a guy exchange numbers, don’t be the one to text first. The only first text you should give is the one where you’re initially giving him your number and he’s giving you his in return. There’s a general “three day rule” that often applies to calling and this rule can be easily applied to texting as well (since it’s pretty rare that anyone ever calls anymore).

#2 Don’t Text Right Away

Beautiful Young Woman sending Message with Mobile Phone

Once you and your guy have broken the proverbial ice and begun texting each other (or, to put it more clearly, once he’s sent you that initial text), wait a few minutes before texting him back. I know, it seems silly, but you don’t want him to think you’ve been waiting by the phone this whole time just in case you hear from him.

It isn’t necessary to wait days, or even hours, before you reply; just give it a couple of minutes. Let him vaguely wonder what you’re doing today (besides obviously waiting by the phone).

#3 No Naked Pics

Unless you and your guy have been dating and sleeping together for a long time and you’re now trying to get out of a romantic slump, there’s no need to send him naked pics. In fact, sending a guy you like naked pics of yourself will not only give him the wrong impression of you (and believe me, it will give him the wrong impression), but it also leaves you extremely vulnerable. You have no idea what he’s going to do with those pics, who he’s going to show them to, or where they might end up.

#4 Be The First To Have To Go

When it comes to texting, it’s always a good idea to be the first to have to go. It’s great to keep a conversation going, of course, but at some point the conversation must end. Here’s how you handle it: “Wow, I’d love to talk to you more about this, but I’ve got to get to work. Do you want to have coffee later and keep the conversation going?”

You’ve just accomplished two things. For one thing, you ended the conversation first leaving him wanting more of you, and for another thing you opened it up for an actual date. Always a plus.

#5 Keep It Short And Sweet

Beautiful young business woman smiling with mobile phone in cafe

Now, before you become a master text conversationalist, the first initial texts must be kept short and sweet. He doesn’t need you to write him a book on your every daily thought, but a few tidbits of information are always good. Don’t overdo the texts.

Too much talking by text can have an adverse effect and he might think you’re chatty. Even if you are chatty (like me), you’re still going to want to leave a little bit of conversation for the nights when you two go out.

#6 If You’re Asking Him Out, Give At Least Three Days Advance

If it hasn’t gotten to the point where you can maneuver a date into the conversation, then wait until you two have been texting for at least a few days and then ask him out. Of course, when you do ask him out, give him a three day advance (the same he would need to give you) so that he can adjust his schedule if needed, or not be on short notice and too exhausted to go out with you.

#7 No Sexting Until After The First Sex

Aside from naked pics, there’s also the question of “sexting.” Is it okay to have sex by text? The answer is both yes and no. It is perfectly okay to flirt by text. You can give him little flirty compliments or tell him how good looking he is; you can even tease him just slightly by telling him about the hot new dress you bought this weekend.

What you can’t do is have sex by text with him. No “I’m so wet” texts, nothing saying you’re touching yourself, nothing that would put you to shame should anyone read his phone.

If you’ve already had sex with him and are warming him up in the hopes of having sex again tonight, then you can sext him. Otherwise, you’re making it way too easy for him and he might not appreciate you for the person you are inside, only the person you could be in bed.

On a whole, the rules for texting a guy you like are similar to the rules for dating. Allow ample time for communication, but don’t display all your mysteries at once. Don’t sext on the first date (or before the first date), don’t give him nude photos, and be the first to have to go (most guys are scared to end texts first because they feel like they’re being rude to you).

What rules do you use when you’re texting a guy you like?

About the author


Just another hard working mom who loves her kid, loves to write, can’t cook, and has a thing for tentacles! When I’m not hanging out with my Spawn, I’m happily sharing my dating experiences and offering advice and trying to control the chaos that comes with being human.

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