12 Wise Cracking Pieces of Wisdom from Witty Women

All good wit has an element of wisdom to it, and there is nothing as sharp as a woman’s wit. The following quotes will make you laugh and provide you with some good advice.

From Mae West to Dorothy Parker, there is bound to be a quip here that will make you chuckle and maybe take a step back and look at life from a different perspective.

#1: Women like a man with a past, but they prefer a man with a present. – Mae West

This can be taken in a number of ways.

The most obvious is that women like gifts, but I like to think that it also refers to a man being ’present’ when he is in the company of a woman.

Instead of his mind being elsewhere he is totally and utterly enthralled by his female companion’s presence, providing her with his full attention.

#2: I’m not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb… and I also know that I’m not blonde. – Dolly Parton


Good old Dolly Parton.

This blonde superwoman forged the most successful singing/songwriting (and acting) career based on her incredible talent and amazing looks. But Dolly is no fool.

She has used her assets to get the life she wanted, it’s all about enhancing what you have, showing your best side and being smart.

#3: I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. – Rita Rudner

Let’s face it, even the greatest of marriages go through its ups and downs. It’s all part of life.

In any relationship there are going to be times when you annoy the hell out of each other, but this should be balanced by the times you know you are supported and loved by your partner.

And at the end of the day, in a healthy relationship, you should feel loved all of the time.

#4: I used to be Snow White, but I drifted. – Mae West

This is a funny quote but also quite perceptive. We all lose our innocence somewhere along the line and I am not just referring to physical chastity.

Yet even with innocence lost we are still the same person underneath as we always have been.

Just because we have lost our innocence and wised up to the world, it doesn’t mean we should lose our curiosity and wonder of life because this is what makes us sparkle.

#5: The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. – Dorothy Parker


A great follow on from the previous post. There is no cure for curiosity, but this is what keeps our minds alive and active and forever young.

We never stop learning in life and it’s impossible to know everything, and what a wonderful thing this is… to always be learning and gaining new insights.

#6: Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself. – Roseanne; American Actress and Comedian

Although this is a funny line, it actually has some sense to it. Sometimes we have to let off steam and tell it like it is.

We cannot keep all our emotions bottled up and it is very important that we give ourselves ’me time’ when needed. It is also important and vital to our wellbeing that we are honest not only to others but to ourselves.

If at any time we are feeling like we are not being true to ourselves, then this is when we know we are not on the right path.

#7: In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. – Margaret Thatcher


Love her or hate her, one thing is for sure, Margaret Thatcher was certainly someone who got things done. If she said she was going to do something, she didn’t waste her time; she went straight ahead and did it.

Women have long been the caregivers and homemakers and this may be why woman can appear to be more proactive in getting things done rather than just talking about it.

After all, when you are bringing up a family, caring for others, working, and running a home, one has to act first and talk later.

#8: That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can’t say No in any of them. – Dorothy Parker

Ouch. I feel sorry for the woman who this barbed comment was directed at, but it does hold some good advice for the rest of us. We must know when to say ’no’ and respect our boundaries.

Sometimes we can unwittingly act like people pleasers so it is important to know when the line has been crossed so that we don’t end up like doormats.

#9: The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he’s a baby. – Natalie Wood


A lot of people fall into the trap of trying to change a person once they are in a relationship with them.

But you should never try and change someone, you can certainly help people if they have an addiction or other destructive habit or condition, but never change who they are as a person.

For a start you cannot change a person, it is up to them. And secondly, why would you want to be with someone that you want to change?

#10: A woman never forgets her age once she decides what it is. – Anon

We can all be a bit cagey about our age once we pass a certain landmark. But we should not be so fearful of ageing.

It is a natural process which is not afforded to those who die young. To have the opportunity to age and grow older is a gift which we should cherish.

At the end of the day, age is just a number.

#11: Curve: The loveliest distance between two points. – Mae West


Another great quote from the ultimate Blonde Bombshell. All women have curves of some shape or form, regardless of their body shape, it’s what makes is women.

It is wonderful that Mae West celebrates the female form in this way and this quote conjures up the image of allure and mystery which all women hold.

#12: I don’t want to get to the end of my life and find that I lived just the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well. – Diane Ackerman

This is a great quote to live by.

We only get one crack at life so we should make sure we explore it wholly and fully and that we appreciate every single moment. A life half lived is a waste of this wonderful gift.

So Queens, what are you waiting for? 

Cover photo: theventureonline.com

About the author

Eleanor Goold

As well as being an avid reader, Eleanor is also a big time animal lover; especially of dogs. If you have a tail, four legs and you bark…. you’re in! In her spare time she enjoys swimming, and vegetable gardening… but not at the same time (it can get a bit messy).

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