If you’ve been feeling about as sexy as a potato in a onesie (that’s to say, not at all) then it might be time to spice things up. After all, we all go through ruts where the closest thing we come to sex appeal is when our tracky pants slip down on our hips a little.
But that’s not to say that your rut has to stick around. Ditch the rut and unleash your inner sex goddess!
1. It’s all in your mind, beautiful
First and foremost, let’s address the fact that even a toad can have swagger if he puts his mind to it. Yup, you heard correctly: a toad.
Anyone, and I repeat anyone, can be sexy. Yes, even you in the horn-rimmed glasses and frilly socks. Sexiness isn’t about always looking like a model or acting like a porn star.
Sexiness is something that is innate, something that is within us all. All that is required to release it is acceptance and an open mind.
So let’s kick-start your sexiness boot camp with the following activity.
1. Stand in front of your mirror (don’t panic, it gets better from here, I promise)
2. Now, instead of focusing on your flaws and the things you wish you could change, try paying attention to the things you do like. You could have a great set of teeth, or maybe your lips are so lush they make Angelina Jolie jealous.
Whatever it may be, give credit where credit is due. And then keep looking for other things you like.
3. After you’ve exhausted your ‘I love’ list, look yourself in the eyes and say, “I’m beautiful.” Repeat until you can feel the truth resonate throughout your body. Because darling, you are beautiful!
Once you’ve acknowledged your beauty, your next task is to take it to the street. Go for a walk to get a chai latte, stroll down the beach or even walk your dog to the park. But walk with intention.
Walk with the knowledge that you’re beautiful. Then, notice how many people give you a double look and even a few stares.
Work it, baby.
2. Invest in yourself
When you’re taking care of yourself from the inside out, you can’t help but feel like you’re sporting a natural glow and a bit of raw sex appeal. But what does ‘taking care of yourself’ really mean? Well, here are some ideas:
- Get your eyebrows, legs, underarms and bikini line waxed regularly. This will make a huge difference to how ‘groomed’ you feel and how comfortable you are showing off your pins!
- Go to a yoga class and give your body a good work out.
- Find a hairstyle that makes you feel like a goddess. This will probably mean going to a trusted hairdresser and telling them what you’re hoping to achieve. Don’t leave until you are 100 percent happy with what they have done!
- Treat yourself to regular spa days (even if it’s just at home!) and take time out to keep your grooming in check.
- Indulge in a massage once a month. Not only is it great for your circulation, but it’ll also promote stress relief.
- Buy yourself a sexy new dress or top that you feel amazing in.
- Be careful about what you eat. Remember, you are what you eat so you don’t want to be fast, cheap and easy!
3. Get a hobby
I don’t know about you, but I feel that women who have a passion for something are infinitely sexier than those that live to work or base their lifestyles around superficial goals and experiences.
For this reason, I would recommend trying out a new hobby. And no, this doesn’t mean you have to pick up knitting, cross-stitching or the piano. Not saying that those are bad hobbies, but there are just so many different options out there you shouldn’t restrict yourself to the tried and true! There’s a great, big world out there just waiting for you to explore it, darling.
A lot of hobbies can be practiced outdoors too, which will help boost your health and wellbeing. What’s better than having fun while you’re getting fit?
And besides, you meet so many interesting people when you step outside of your comfort zone!
Some great hobby ideas include:
- Kite surfing
- Cooking or baking
- Martial arts
- A new language
4. Stop worrying
Okay this one is easier said than done, but if you can achieve it you will have unlocked the key ingredient to sexiness: appreciation of life.
We spend so much of our time worrying about the past, what will happen tomorrow, what people are thinking and saying about us and how to be the most perfect version of us that we forget that all we have is the present moment. Right now. Nothing else is certain.
And when we accept and acknowledge this fact, it becomes so much easier to let the small everyday worries slip past.
It doesn’t matter so much what happened yesterday (besides, our past does not define us), and we don’t really know what will happen tomorrow. The annoying comment our friend made, the look our boss gave us … none of it matters.
Because we can’t control it. All we can control is right now, in this very moment.
So if you can embrace happiness, peace and joy now you’ll be on the right track to developing a kind of innate, natural sexiness that is difficult to mimic.
5. Fake it ‘til you make it
And if you’re still not feeling it, then the best advice I can give you is to fake it. Think of a woman you believe is extremely sexy. It might be an old Hollywood actress like Marilyn Monroe or Audrey Hepburn. Or you might think that Salma Hayek and Penelope Cruz epitomize the ultimate in sexiness.
Then, once you’ve chosen someone, pretend that you’re them. Toss your hair like they do, walk the way they walk and flirt and charm those around you like they would do. Bat your eyelashes, stand tall and proud and sway your hips a little.
And don’t take it (or yourself) too seriously! Have fun and play around. Be a siren. Be enchanting. Be all of the things you think you can’t, but can pretend to be when you come out of your shell.
Eventually, if you fake it long enough, it will begin to come true. You won’t be pretending anymore, you will just be sexy.
6. Ask for it
How do you ask for something you want? Is it confidently, with strong eye contact and a smile? Or do you mumble your request shyly?
I ask this because how you request something from someone, whether it be your partner, potential bf or even friend, can impact your sex appeal.
Women who come off as being sexy are often described as ‘knowing what they want’, and ‘not being afraid to ask for what they want’. Whether it’s for sex, a kiss, a phone number or a coffee, they know what they want and they aren’t afraid to look you in the eye and ask for it.
That is pure sexiness.
So next time you need something from someone, don’t shy away from it. Give them the full power of your charm and be confident.
Finally, I’m going to give you some homework to get your sexiness flowing all the time.
Give some of these activities a shot and then report back and let us know how you went!
- Create a ‘sexy playlist’ where you put all of the songs that make you feel a little naughty. Play it on the way home from work or whenever you’re in need of a sexiness boost.
- Get your nails done. There’s just something about getting your nails done that makes you feel ah-may-zing. Have you ever noticed how your hand gestures and movements seem to be so much more elegant when you’ve had a manicure as well?
- Indulge in a few naughty daydreams. It’ll put a smile on your dial and add instant sass to your walk.
- Put on your favorite pair of lingerie (yes, lingerie not panties and a bra), under your standard work outfit. You’ll probably be the only one that knows you’re wearing it but it’ll make you feel like a sex goddess.
- Have a ‘sexy outfit’ that you keep for sexiness emergencies. I recommend a gorgeous little black dress, some dressy heels and your sexiest lingerie.
- Relax. You won’t be able to release your inner sex kitten if she’s worrying about bills, assignments or work presentations.
Cover photo: pinterest.com