Forget About Sleeping
Sleeping for an hour can only make it worse – it honestly won’t help. Don’t think about not sleeping either – it will only make you sleepier. We all want what we can’t have. Try to stay occupied by something, like thinking about all the fun you had. Like, how the guy you like is gay and instead of hooking up, he painted your toe nails in the cab home. Or maybe how you made a girl suck a finger for thirty seconds. Oh wait… that’s the fun I had last night. Kind of sad! Anyway, think about anything but sleeping.
Get the Party Rush Going for You
If you’re not seriously crashing, try listening to the same music you did at the party. Think of work after partying this way: if you had the energy to dance on the tables holding two wine bottles the entire time, you probably have the energy to stare at your computer for 8 hours. Not as hard, really.
Have Some Coffee
Treat yourself to some nice coffee and supersize it. Try having it on the balcony or the garden, because fresh air will really help. Decaf? As if! Try to get as much liquid as possible, too. It will definitely help you clear your organism from the toxins you’ve injected.
Make up
Well at least I got my toe nails painted and a face massage. As for you guys it’s all about foundation. Make your skin rested.
Lie
It will probably show that you’re a bit off, so just lie. Say you have the nastiest head ache and you’re really sick. It might make you seem like an employee of the year, ‘cus you showed up for work although you really don’t feel well. If you really feel sick, have some chamomile tea.
Don’t Think It’s Worse than It is
It’s a crazy night – you, a gay Gucci model, a gay rock star and three fag hags watching Pocahontas because the Gucci guy looks a lot like her, only Pocahontas isn’t a coke addict. Oh wait, that’s my night again. If you convince yourself you’re crashing, you probably will soon.
Don’t Repeat this Very Often
It’s bad for your health and it’s bad for your looks. Say it to yourself: I’m not drinking anymore. Don’t say “I’m drinking any more (or any less)” . Stop drinking entirely. Next time you’ll feel a lot more like working after a party than you are now.
Ok, I’m done with work. I’m crashing right after I say high to all those strange people in my kitchen. We hope that you pull it through.
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