It’s not easy being helpful in these tricky situations, because we all act different when we are hurt. Some of us hide in our rooms, while others act like nothing has happened. There are no rules in dealing with ex-boyfriends, or tears, and questions without answers. Still, here are some things that can remind you how to keep your friend focused on the future.
1. Give Her Some Time to Be Sad about It
If she really cared about her ex, she will need time to be sad, cry, or even be really mad at him. The problem is that it doesn’t always come first. You should expect a moment, or two, of weakness and be there to cry with her, or just hold her. You will need to tell her that everything is going to be ok, and when you say it, you have to believe in it. And it will be alright because she has a friend – you.
So, go with the flow, listen to her and be prepared to comfort her when the waves of crushing tears come. It might not be that dramatic, but if it doesn’t come soon, you should consider that she maybe didn’t like him that much.
2. Let Her Keep One Important Reminder of the Relationship
I read a lot of articles about breakups and they all tell us to get rid of his belongings. The one time I did it, I regretted it so much that I called him, and asked for something of his to keep as a memory. He hung up on me, and probably thought I went totally crazy. I laughed at myself and since then, I always keep one dear thing to remind me of a relationship. Because, even if he hurt me bad, cheated or whatever, that was a period in my life that meant something.
So it’s important to let your friend keep something to remind her of a part of life that she had and that is finished. If you push her into forgetting it, she might also forget the lessons she learnt.
3. Give Her Motivation and Occupy Her with New Things
This is the last step in moving on. It takes time to cry, it takes time to clean up the mess and rearrange your house or flat, and this period varies from person to person. Some of us need days, some need months, and that’s why it’s important to have a friend through a break up. Someone who will be able to give you enough time to heal and deal with it, but not let you become a sponge or a plant. That is the most important thing to do, and also the hardest.
Can you tell if your friend is becoming a lifeless plant? Don’t let her fall for too long, you might not be able to bring her on the right path after that.
The point is in knowing your friend and giving her what she needs, but making sure that she sees the future as bright as you do. It’s important to listen to her, but make her hear you, too. It’s important to be strong and keep the faith. Be a true friend and be completely selfless.