Keeping a diary is not just a stereotypical schoolgirl hobby. It can be a very sophisticated method of self-reflection. By writing down our thoughts and expressing our feelings as they come, we may better understand our inner voice and discover clues to solving our problems.
A diary is a letter we write to ourselves: it helps us to remember things as they were, and it keeps our judgment unclouded and our thoughts focused on issues that are important to us.
1. Find your own medium
First, you have to choose the form of diary that best suits you and will inspire you to be your most creative (and honest) self. This pretty much comes down to two options: either you’ll type it out or you’ll pen it down.
A typewriter could be considered a mix of the two, but unless you are trying to be very trendy, I’m guessing you’ll be choosing between a notebook and a computer.
I personally prefer a notebook for my writing. There is something oddly satisfying seeing your thoughts manifested in your handwriting. Plus, you can carry it around with you much easier and the form of writing is more flexible.
Of course, the downside is where to keep it safe (see #2) and where to keep them all (if you keep writing for years).
Writing on a computer, in contrast, is faster, the form is cleaner (although more limited) and it takes up much less physical space. Also, it’s easier to encrypt a file than to hide a notebook.
The downside is that it’s a bit impersonal for something so personal. Plus, you can’t easily edit something written with a pen, which makes notebooks a more honest medium (see #4).
2. Protect your privacy
This is incredibly important because if you do not feel that what you write is for your eyes only, then you will have trouble being completely open about your thoughts, perhaps even subconsciously, and it will defeat the point of keeping a diary in the first place.
So, do whatever it takes to keep it safe: keep your desk drawer locked or your files encrypted and your privacy protected.
I’ve heard some gory stories about diaries falling into the hands of wrong people, secrets being discovered and intimacies being violated, not to mention trust that can never be regained.
The thing is, most people don’t go snooping around in someone else’s business deliberately; they tend to stumble on it by accident.
The fact is we live in a world where privacy is so easily breached that the level of awareness must always be high. I’m not saying you should be paranoid, just safe.
3. Start small
If you have no experience in keeping a diary, or writing at all, it’s best to set your goals low to begin. Unless you are completely confident about what and how you want to say something, start with simple daily or weekly recaps.
It’s important not to force yourself to write if you’ve really had an uneventful day or are simply not in the mood, but try to write at least once every several days until it becomes a habit.
Once it becomes a habit, you can even go weeks (sometimes months) without writing and not lose it.
Don’t go into too much detail about your daily routine: your goal is to get used to writing down and expressing your thoughts so that you can eventually deal with more complicated or serious issues regarding your feelings and life as a whole.
And there is no need to worry about your writing style, as long as you get your ideas into words.
4. Be honest
This is perhaps the most important rule of all and the most difficult. The problem isn’t in the fact that we consciously want to lie to ourselves, but sometimes we don’t even realize that we are being dishonest.
Sometimes we don’t know what we actually think or how we truly feel about something. This is why writing down our thoughts is so important. I’ve often discovered what my actual position on a topic is only after I’ve written it down.
Sometimes, through writing freely, we may find out that we have unresolved problems or dilemmas that we never even thought of investigating, that otherwise never would have made it to the surface in a clear form.
By defining our feelings, by being in touch with our inner workings, we can handle our problems and ourselves with much more confidence and ease.
If you find it difficult to express yourself, try imagining that you are writing a letter to someone—perhaps your future or ideal self, or someone who has your complete trust and whom you would turn to for advice.
Form your sentences as though you are addressing this person as it makes the writing process easier if you imagine you have an audience (see #6).
5. Focus on a certain issue
Once you’ve been writing for a couple of months or so, you’ll notice a pattern forming in your themes and the topics that you choose to write about the most. Try to zone in on that, categorize your ideas or the issues that you want to deal with.
The things you mention most often hold clues to issues that need your attention, problems that need a solution or issues that are most important to you that you may want to focus on more.
Locate your strengths (things you are confident about, that make you happy, determined, committed) as well as your weaknesses. Explain yourself, keep digging deeper, discover as much as you possibly can. The more narrow and concentrated the issue, the deeper you can go.
6. Keep re-reading it
Simply writing down our thoughts and then shutting them away is better than nothing, but it isn’t enough to actually benefit from the writing process. Going back on what we’ve written is an essential part of keeping a diary—that is, after all, why we do it.
When writing a diary, you are writing it for yourself; you are your own reader and critic. By reading your past entries, you will better understand yourself and express yourself in the future. So, give it a go: write a letter to your future self and say what’s on your mind.
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