5 Ways to Get Others to Do What You Want – Without Having to Ask Them

Do you get tired of constantly asking people to do things for you? Here is how to get them to do what you want, without even having to ask.

Whether you have a spouse that won’t seem to help around the house or a coworker that fails to pull his or her own weight on group projects, you may often find yourself in the position of wanting others to do what needs to be done without having to ask (or beg) them to do it. Not only is it uncomfortable to bring their lack of helping out to the forefront, but why should you have to? They are grown adults who should be able to recognize their responsibilities and just tend to them, right?

Unfortunately, not everyone is as attentive to taking care of the details or taking the initiative as we wish they would be. So, how do you get them to simply do what needs to be done, without having to beg them to or, at a minimum, constantly remind them?

Try these five things:

#1 Praise Them For What They Do

One of the best ways to get someone else to do something you want is to praise them for the things they already do. Taking this approach will get you much further ahead than bashing them for the things they don’t do as that will likely cause them to either shut down completely or dig their heels in and never do what you want just to spite you.

Admittedly, it can be difficult to praise someone when what you really want to do is tear their eyes out, but if you really want results, you’re going to have to bite the bullet on this one. When you do, the end result will be much better.

Tell them about how happy you are with the other things they’ve done and point out the things that they’ve excelled in. Don’t BS them and lie to try to get them to do something, but be fair about the things that they have done right and they are more inclined to continue to do great things just to hear you sing your praises of them.

#2 Point Out the Benefits of Doing It, Whatever “It” Is

Businesswomen having break on office terrace outdoor drinking coffee talking

Another option to get what you want without asking is to point out the benefits the other person will receive when they do whatever it is you want them to do. For instance, if you’re having a hard time getting your spouse to take out the garbage on garbage day, you may want to point out that it frees up space in their garage so they have more room to work. If you’re having a difficult time getting a coworker to clean up their mess at the break table, mention that the boss is more inclined to bring in the snacks they love and put them there for them to eat if it appears that everyone is taking care of the area.

When you can get them to see the advantages themselves, they are more inclined to do it because it has benefits to them directly. Try to come up with how they’ll personally be happier, healthier, or whatever the case may be, when they simply take care of business and they’ll likely do it on their own from now on.

#3 Ask if They Are Having Trouble

Sometimes people don’t do what they should because it is difficult for them. They don’t find the task as easy as you do, therefore they don’t want to do it at all. They may not feel comfortable coming out and saying that they are having a hard time, which leads you to assume that they’re simply just not doing it because you know no different.

When someone is dragging their feet to do something, you may want to ask them if they are having trouble with whatever the task is. They might open up to you and admit that they are. This creates the opportunity for dialogue and gives you a greater understanding of what is going on while making them feel comfortable admitting that they are struggling.

Of course, you’re going to want to use some common sense here. If it is something simple, like emptying the dishwasher, you may not want to ask if they’re having trouble understanding how to do it or that will just instigate a fight.

#4 Offer to Help Them

three friends woman at the bar in urban contest

Notice that this doesn’t say to do it for them. It says to offer to help them, which means that you should see what you can do to get them to do it themselves. Maybe their weekly or monthly task has a greater likelihood of getting done if you assist them with devising a plan to do it. Or, perhaps there is a simple thing you can do to make their duties more appealing to them.

For instance, if your tenant has a hard time paying their rent on time because of coming up with a large lump sum amount, you may offer to help them by taking smaller, weekly installments. Find a way to get to the same results while still allowing them to do the bulk of the work themselves.

#5 Create an Incentive

Most of the time, rewards work better than punishment when it comes to getting others to do things willingly. Therefore, putting an incentive in place can work wonders to not only getting a task completed, but getting it completed in record time.

A great example of this is with children. If you tell them to clean their room and promise a trip to the ice cream store once it is done, be prepared for them to work their little behinds off for you. It’s much more effective than threatening them with a time out or some other form of punishment as then you’ll be met with nothing more than whines and cries.

Is it fair that you have to essentially bribe them to get them to do it? No. But instead of looking at it as a bribe, consider it an incentive. It’s like you’re an employer who is willing to pay a bonus for a job well done.

Getting others to do what you want without asking them isn’t always easy, but it is possible. Try these five things and you’ll have a better chance of getting things done without asking, begging or pleading. That’s a great thought, isn’t it?

About the author

Christina DeBusk

Changing careers mid-life from law enforcement to writing, Christina spends her days helping others enrich their businesses and personal lives one word at a time.

Add Comment

Click here to post a comment