We were warned about the hormonal years of adolescence, the turbulent times of leaving home and going to university or starting your first proper job as an adult. No-one, however, warned us about hitting our mid-twenties. That time in your life when you are falsely led to believe you’ll have it all figured out and loving life as a responsible adult. Well, it’s all lies! You are still that 21-year-old—just with slightly better hair.
Forget the idea of a mid-life crisis, it’s the quarter life crisis that unexpectedly creeps out of nowhere and smacks us in the face. Why did no-one warn us about this? Why are your mid-twenties grounded in such a state of ambivalence and uncertainty that, at times, leaves you in a state of sheer anxiety?
1. Money (or not)
You have more income, but somehow everything is so much more expensive—food, clothes, nights out, etc. Has your taste just got better or has living become harder? No more £2 pints or £10 all you can drink nights out for you. Nowadays, spending £60 on a Friday night is seen as an achievement.
Presently, as a society we are more educated about the concept of health, and the fact that your mid-twenties body no longer burns off calories like your teenage body did.
As a result, bye bye left over takeaway for breakie and hello smoked salmon, scrambled eggs, rye bread and avocado. Seriously, trying to stay in shape is ridiculously expensive, and your days of £1 pizza and curly fries are now a distant memory.
2. This isn’t how I imagined it!
When you envisaged yourself in your mid-twenties, you assumed that you would have your life together. WRONG! You still have no idea what you want to do with your life….
Do you try to invest time in your career or swan off traveling the world? Do you move into your own nice place or continue house sharing with a crowd of fruit loops as it’s cheaper?
These are the sort of questions that start to plague us and make us feel like we’re failing at our adult life. Just bear in mind that nobody expects you to have your life in order, and the person putting most pressure on you is likely to be yourself! Take a step back, relax and don’t be so hard on yourself.
3. Expectations change
You want more from mankind and admire different qualities in people than previously in life. You crave compelling conversations and want to meet people who fuel your fire, whether that be from a relationship, friend, family member or a colleague. Fun and superficial entertainment no longer leads to fulfilment.
You’re not yet an expert on romantic relationships (very few people ever are), but you are certainly more aware of what you want and need from one.
You want to spend time with people who have similar interests, understand (if not appreciate) your sense of humor and aid your self-development, not just spend time with someone who is a right laugh on a Friday night.
4. Television preferences that are no longer acceptable
People assume that you are a little more aware of the world and what is going on around you. Work colleagues now try and instigate conversations about politics and current affairs on the news, the news that you don’t even watch as you’re secretly watching “Hollyoaks” or catching up on last night’s “Geordie Shore.”
Obviously, you don’t tell Maureen from accounts that; you just nod and reinforce her political views until you’ve convinced the entire office you’d be a prime candidate for the next elections.
5. Dress your age
It has finally happened, ladies: it is no longer acceptable to dress how you did five years ago. You can say goodbye to your favorite pair of hi-tops, multi-colored scrunchies and tie-dye crops (such a sad time!). You are now a fully grown, career woman and it’s just not right to dress like a cast member of “Saved by the Bell.”
6. Friends? What friends?
Your friendship group starts to decrease rapidly, and staying in contact with your school and university friends is proving to be difficult. Don’t take this to heart! Things change, people change and life starts to get in the way.
At this point in your life, your friends are settling down with their partners, buying houses together, getting married or having children. You yourself might be at this stage. Try to understand that everyone’s priorities change, and this is not a personal reflection of you—it is just life.
7. Hangovers are not a myth
Hangovers are very, very real. Two-day hangovers are starting to become a regular and spending your weekends fighting your way to the front of a bar to get served is no longer appealing.
Downing cheap drinks is no longer fun, and you don’t see paying a little extra for a beverage you actually like the taste of and enjoy as the crime of the century.
Spending weekends drinking at pubs and bars with a group friends is far more preferable than frequenting nightclubs and shouting over the latest Taylor Swift song. We don’t blame you!
8. Success is not imminent
Remember that you are not your job role. Don’t compare yourself to others as this will just end in self-depreciation. Find a passion and run with it. You need to put in the effort and, at times, this leads to an unbalanced work and social life, but putting in the ground work will be well worth it in the long run.
For many, you will be at the beginning of your career while others may still be figuring things out. Just remember not to put too much pressure on yourself—you have the rest of your life to figure this out.
When you’re lying on your death bed, it’s not the ten hours a week unpaid overtime you’ll be thinking of; it’ll be memories of times you had with your family and friends.
Hopefully your mid-twenties aren’t half as confusing as mine, but if they are, at least now you know you’re not on your own.
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