If your guy is desperate to bring you to climax but his oral technique isn’t quite hitting the spot, here’s how to tell him how you like your oral sex…
Guys love it when they can bring a girl to climax just by using their tongue or fingers. It’s a buzz, an ego boost, and a massive turn-on.
Trouble is, many guys just don’t seem to get how everything works down there. Actually a lot of us girls don’t quite get it either!
It’s one thing to know what feels good when we masturbate, but another thing entirely to then try and describe to our lovers what they can do to get us off.
The other problem is that women are so different when it comes to what we like in the bedroom, that men can get pretty damned confused. What makes one girl scream in ecstasy can be completely uncomfortable and provide no pleasure to several other women.
Our sexual anatomies are all too different, there is no comparison. It’s trial and error.
Don’t despair if your man isn’t getting it right though.
Follow these 7 Oral Sex Tips and start communicating your desires more effectively…
Never talk about the negatives because negatives feed insecurities.
This means avoid at all costs any criticisms, and try not to mention the things you feel he is doing wrong.
The less you mention what you’re not enjoying and the more you talk about what you like about his technique, the less he will focus on doing the things you’re not talking about and focus more on the things your are praising him for.
If you go overboard and start panting like a woman who is about to come to express that you quite like what he is doing with his tongue, he will only get over-excited and anticipate that he is doing something you really, really like, and that if he keeps on doing it then he will bring you to orgasm.
If you sound like you’re heading that way when you’re not however, he’s probably not going to understand when you don’t continue to head that way… then you risk wanting to fake your orgasm just to make him feel better, which is the oral sex cardinal sin!
It’s not a good time to discuss the details of what you like and dislike while he is doing the deed. Why? Because you risk intellectualising things and you can ruin the moment and the build-up.
If there are things he does that don’t do it for you, and he doesn’t seem to be getting the message, talk to him about it when you are not in bed together or not about to have sex.
Talk about it logically and be sensitive, and it should stick in his mind ready or the next time he goes down on you, without bruising his ego too much.
There’s nothing worse than to be doing something and then to be told you’re doing it wrong while you are in the act.
You don’t have to be passive when enjoying oral sex at all. In fact the more involved you become the more likely you are to reach your climax. Great oral sex is about being turned on.
A guy will be immediately turned on if he can sense that you are turned on and enjoying yourself, and once he starts expressing his enthusiasm for the job at hand, you will in turn be even more turned on… it’s a win-win situation.
There’s nothing worse than a silent woman lying on a bed with a man’s head stuck between her legs and nothing seems to be happening.
Get involved, get in a position that makes you feel sexy and allows you to move, gyrate your hips, push yourself into his face, pull away, hold his head, run your fingers through his hair, get the sexual energy flowing between you…
When it feels good, make a noise to express it.
I don’t mean give direct instructions – don’t risk killing the spontaneity – when you give a guy instructions during oral sex he may focus too directly on fulfilling them and then forget to do his own thing, which means you risk losing out on some unexpected surprise pleasure.
But if he is flicking your clit with his tongue and it feels good, don’t be afraid to moan.. If he continues to do it and it starts to feel even better, then moan harder… If you feel something potential building, tell him not to stop!
He will interpret the intensity of your vocal expressions and they way you move your body because that’s all he really has to go on, so get used to communicating with accuracy to avoid giving off the wrong or mixed messages.
Aside from enjoying watching you get turned on, which may or may not actually be happening during oral sex for you, licking and sucking can get a bit tedious for a guy if he feels it’s not going anywhere.
God forbid, but if he is doing it and actually he is kind of bored down there, then that boredom is probably going to be reflected in the pleasure you receive.
Do yourself a favour and give him something to enjoy while he is going down on you.
It could be anything from wearing slutty or sensual underwear if he’s into it, letting him finger your anus lightly while he’s going down on you if that’s his fetish, or even the promise of a blow job that will blow his mind afterwards.
If you really want him to experience you climaxing from his oral sex then help him out by getting yourself as close to your orgasm as possible before he goes down there with his tongue.
Make sure you are as turned on as you can possibly be. Tell him you like to be teased, get him to spend ages building up sexual tension, don’t put any direct stimulation on your clit until you are ready for him to go down on you.
Try masturbating a few times but not allowing yourself to fall over the edge of ecstasy until he goes down there.
If all else fails – introduce the guy to your vibrator, show him the on button, and the location of your clitoris, lay back and enjoy the guaranteed inevitable. Another way to motivate him is to perfect your own oral sex skills!
I am inspired by the ways people interact. Human behaviour and emotions are wonderfully complex, and I want to dig deeper and understand more. This is why I explore intimate relationships in my writing. (I’m also ever so slightly kinky.)
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