This guide will not only show a man how to compliment a woman, but will show him what’s in it for him and how you can both benefit from paying compliments.
You’re always looking to do something nice for your man, right? You always try to help him out. If his birthday is approaching or if you just feel like being generous, consider this guide to be a gift to both of you.
Print it, fold it like a letter, slap a note on it and wait for results. And, you won’t have to wait long! Or, conveniently leave it on the coffee table with your favorite compliments highlighted. (Be sure to black out these instructions though.)
I know, as well as anyone, that a man needs direction. As I was writing the descriptions for the compliments, I pictured my husband’s immediate reaction. His dumbfounded look would be followed by, “So, what do you want me to say?” So, to cover my bases, I have set out some guidance for each compliment (where applicable).
Here are my 20 Ways to Compliment a Woman. Read, learn and flatter away!
#1: Her Cooking
Easy enough, right? Well, many men don’t think it’s important. Take myself, for example. I think I’m a fairly decent cook. I’m no Cat Cora, but I’m just as cute and I’m always trying new things (thank you Pinterest). It’s important to me to make a hot, homey meal for my man. It’s also important to me that he likes it and doesn’t just devour it like an animal, put the dishes on the counter and then take up residence on the couch.
The point is, we slave over a hot stove after a full day’s work and just want some damn props! (If you really don’t like her cooking, though, just keep your mouth shut and move on to the next relevant compliment. She’ll likely get the hint. If you tell her you like her cooking when you would rather eat burnt toast, you’re only setting yourself up for a lifetime of horrible cooking from a woman who thinks she’s a chef.)
What do you want me to say?
“Those potatoes are amazing! What spices did you use?” “That beef is so tender. Is there more?” “This is the best soup I’ve ever tasted!”
Keep in mind that compliments don’t always have to be verbal. Getting up for seconds is a generous compliment in and of itself.
#2: Her Exercising Results
You may not see them (because you see her every day), but look harder. If she’s been putting in the extra effort, she really needs (and craves) the validation from you that it’s starting to pay off. Encouragement will keep her motivated and let her know that her hard work isn’t for nothing.
Have you ever told her to “keep up the good work?” If so, cease and desist immediately. Don’t ever tell her that again. The translation for “keep up the good work” in a woman’s brain is, “you’ve got a long way to go – don’t stop now.” I don’t think that’s the message you want to send.
What do you want me to say?
“Your ass is looking tighter and higher.” “I can see more definition in your back.” “You look really toned.” “You seem more flexible. That yoga must be paying off.”
Complimenting her progress and results will give her the confidence she needs to continue working hard!
#3: Her Accomplishments
You may not know it, but the large majority of what women do is for everyone else. Despite our independence, we do most things to please others. Therefore, we want the people closest to us to be proud of us. If others are proud of us, we feel like we have a purpose. Silly or not, it’s true.
Let your woman know you’re proud of her accomplishments, however minor they may seem to you. Making a big deal out of a seemingly minor accomplishment will show her that you, too, think it’s a big deal.
What do you want me to say?
“I’m really proud of you for landing all those clients.” “I’m really proud of you for sticking with the project even when it seemed impossible.” “You put a lot of effort into preparing for that presentation and I’m happy for you that it paid off.”
#4: Her Specific, God-Given Traits
There are many traits that we have no control over; those traits are mostly physical (i.e. our eyes, lips, teeth). Because we were born with these things (for the most part), we like to know that we were blessed. Being “naturally beautiful” is the kind of beauty we all yearn for.
We all strive to enhance those traits (with make-up, contouring and sometimes greater lengths), but knowing that our God-given traits garner attention boosts our confidence.
What do you want me to say?
“You have such beautiful eyes.” “You’re teeth are so white.” “Your lips are so plump and sexy.” “Your legs just don’t stop.”
#5: Random, Unexpected Compliments
Women have a tendency to fish for complements. I do it. We all do it. It’s embarrassing but it’s reality. When a woman fishes for a compliment, give her one. She needs it for a multitude of reasons that we won’t get into here. But don’t only compliment her when she’s fishing. Try complimenting her when she least expects it.
Compliment her on things you wouldn’t normally compliment her on or compliment her in a room full of people. Both scenarios will make her feel really special and show her that you pay attention to her and, more importantly, that you notice her, at the most unexpected of times.
What do you want me to say?
“I love it when you laugh.” “You’re having a really great hair day.” “You should wear that dress more often.”
#6: Buy Her a Gift
I’m a spoiled wife and I love it. My husband is so good to me. He buys me wonderful gifts but they’re not just any gifts. He pays attention, and he makes it a point to spoil me on days that aren’t occasions or holidays.
For example, buy her clothes, lingerie or jewelry, for no reason, and let her know you saw it, thought of her, and thought it would fit her famously.
Knowing that you hand-picked something just for her is a compliment that might actually have her taking her clothes off rather than trying them on.
What do you want me to say?
“I love you in red, and when I saw this I knew I needed to see it on you.” “I was walking past Tiffany’s, these earrings caught my eye, and I knew you needed to have them.”
Sometimes you don’t even have to say anything. A special gift (or gesture) on a non-special day might just speak for itself.
#7: Her Intelligence
Whether your girl is educated or not, a woman’s intelligence is at the heart of who she is. It’s important to her that you don’t think she’s a flake and that you actually think she’s rather interesting.
As women, we think of the future. We worry about whether or not we will be able to keep your interest sparked, and challenge you intellectually, throughout the years.
What do you want me to say?
“That’s really interesting – where did you learn that?” “I’ve learned so much from you.” “Our children are going to be so smart because their mom has all the brains.”
#8: Ask for Her Advice
This compliment is a step up from complimenting her intelligence! Asking for her advice shows her that you not only think she’s intelligent, but that you value her opinion and admire her enough to go to her for advice.
Women don’t often ask for advice. We like to be independent and make decisions on our own. So, it doesn’t make sense that we would crave for others to come to us with their problems. But, do women ever make sense?
What do you want me to say?
This one’s too simple to give you examples. You’re on your own here!
#9: Show Her Off
Women want to know that they’re a part of your life for the long-term. Put stock in introducing her to your family and friends. Let her know that it means a lot to you to have her around and involved in every aspect of your life.
Your need to share her with the people you love the most is the ultimate compliment. And, it will tickle her erogenous zone like no other compliment you can give!
What do you want me to do?
If you’re going to stay with family for the weekend or to a party with friends, bring her along, even if you haven’t met her family or her friends. Don’t be coy – if you’re into her, let people know that!
#10: PDAs (Public Displays of Affection)
PDAs are a way off showing off your woman, but in a more dramatic and exhibitionistic sort of way.
Don’t just kiss her; engage in a full-on make-out session in public. She may be caught off guard at first, but it’ll turn her on so fast she’ll be begging for you to pull her behind the nearest bush.
Announcing to the world, in a more public way than she expected, that she belongs to you will set a fire in her that you won’t want to extinguish.
#11: Use Your Eyes
Use your eyes. This may be difficult for some of you but I promise, if done correctly, she’ll be a lot more “generous” in the bedroom.
Let her catch you scanning her body, ravenously. If your girl is anything like me she may, while wrinkling her brow, say something like, “What are you looking at?” If she does, don’t let it distract you. She’s only responding like that because she’s never seen this side of you and doesn’t know how to react.
Ignore her reaction and move closer. Continue to seduce her, as you kiss her slowly. Quietly undress her. She’ll quickly be at your mercy. And, the reason you’re able to do this is because ogling her is a compliment.
#12: Her Scent
For me, when my man compliments the way I smell, I get butterflies. I can’t articulate why it has that effect on me, but I can’t help it. Whether it be after a relaxing bubble bath, when I use a new fragrance, or just lounging around, his attraction to my scent is really hot.
Even though a person’s responses to another person’s pheromones is uncontrollable, complimenting a woman on her natural scent is still very flattering.
Whether it’s a natural scent or a new perfume, we just want to know we smell fresh and delicious. The more you compliment her scent, the closer she’ll let you get so you can soak in the aroma.
#13: Be Her Prince Charming
When I watch a movie – a romantic comedy, for example – I know that those situations and the people in them aren’t real. But a girl can dream, right!
What if you added a little “fairytale” to your relationship? Pay her the kinds of compliments that are only seen in the movies.
Every girl deserves to feel like a princess!
What do you want me to say?
“I would rather share one lifetime with you than face all the ages of this world alone.” – Lord of the Rings
“I can’t quit you.” – My interpretation of the quote from Brokeback Mountain (one of my favorite movies, by the way). It’s a little over-the-top and a lot cliché, but you see where I’m going with this. If you laughed out loud when you read this, you’re probably not alone. I know it was a stretch, and I laughed too (which is why I had to include it).
These quotes are obviously unrealistic, but even if you say it in a joking way, she’ll be flattered and get a good giggle out of it. Your attempt will definitely make her feel special.
#14: Womanhood
Compliment her womanhood; treat her like a lady.
Open her door, pull out her chair and assist her with her jacket. She will appreciate the gesture, and will see you as the man who can take care of her.
Chivalry is not dead, so stop acting like it is.
#15: Her Humor
I think I’m pretty funny. I’m no comedian, but I do make myself giggle like a school girl on a regular basis. My guy, however, doesn’t seem to think I’m as funny as I think I am. This bums me out because I want him to laugh at the things I say because, let’s be honest, they’re hilarious. My friends laugh at my comments so why doesn’t he?
My point is that women want you to think they’re funny and I know why. I’ve figured out that women, secretly, want to be one of the guys. They want a bond with you that is similar to the one you share with your buddies. You all laugh at each other’s fart jokes and find humor in the dumbest things. We, oddly, just want in on that.
What do you want me to do?
You don’t have to tell her she’s funny (although it would be much appreciated). Just give her that much-needed chuckle every now and again.
Laughing at her jokes will show her that you find her amusing. More importantly, it sends the message that you enjoy spending time with her and wouldn’t rather be out gallivanting with the boys.
#16: Compliment Her Future Self
As women, we’re born with a need to plan. We plan our lives and usually have a pretty good idea of where we want to be in life at a particular time. I knew from a fairly young age, for example, that I wanted to be in love, have a lavish wedding, have a bunch of kids, have a pack of dogs and live on a ranch. Although elaborate, I held myself to that (and still do)!
Because we hold these plans in such high esteem, compliments in these areas will give us the affirmation we need to continue chasing the dream.
What do you want me to say?
“You will be such a great mom.” “I can’t wait to have a family with you.” “I bet you’d look amazing in a wedding dress walking down an isle toward me.”
This is happening…don’t be scared. Embrace your future and let her know you’re both ready for it.
#17: Go Big or Go Home
Even though we might tease your efforts, we secretly want you to be dramatic in your compliments. And, cheesy never hurt anybody either. We want your compliments to be grand. We want them to mean something big.
A compliment like, “You look great in that dress,” just won’t cut it here.
What do you want me to say?
Use power phrases. Go big or go home. Be short and to the point:
“You look amazing!” “You do not look your age.” “There is no one like you.”
#18: Pay Attention
Pay attention to, and compliment, those things you wouldn’t normally notice. For example, pay attention to her hair. Did she do something different? Even if you don’t know what she had done, tell her that you like what she’s done to her hair.
Pay attention to the things she’s self-conscious about.
Does she stress about her crow’s feet (the delicate wrinkles at the outside corners of her eyes)? Tell her that her skin looks so youthful.
Does she hate her bum-chin? Tell her you think it’s so cute and you hope your children have the same chin.
Does she spend hours a day on her make-up, trying to look perfect? Tell her, one night when you’re lounging on the couch, that she’s a natural beauty.
#19: Learn From Music
Movies aren’t the only things that can teach a man how to treat a woman.
Everyone listens to music, but women listen to music! Your Job: Listen to these songs (my use of italics means that you must drop everything you’re doing and really pay attention to and understand the lyrics):
All of Me – John Legend
You’re Beautiful – James Blunt
Still the One – Shania Twain
Your Body is a Wonderland – John Mayer
Making Memories of Us – Keith Urban
If you’re ever unsure of how to express yourself, listen to Bon Jovi–he seems to have all the answers. Listen to the radio; you’ll learn really quickly.
#20: You’re Perfect
We don’t want anyone to change us. We work too hard on our appearance to have some guy make us feel less than perfect.
Ever wonder why women go into a trance for Bruno Mars? It’s because he understands us; he loves us, “Just the Way We Are!”
Your acceptance of her, for all that she is, will create a higher degree of intimacy – in and out of the bedroom.
What do you want me to say?
Don’t judge her. Accept her for all she is. Try telling her that she’s perfect or that, if asked, you wouldn’t change anything about her.
I’ve given you 20 compliments to help you make the most of your relationship! Use them and reap the benefits!
Compliments have this unmatched ability to come in like a wrecking ball, erasing all the bad stuff! Paying a woman a compliment will, surprisingly, make her forget about a lot of things you want her to forget about. Don’t just use compliments to kiss ass, though. Compliment her because you love and care about her. You should want to make her feel like a million bucks.
As you can see, compliments come in all shapes and sizes. As long as you care about her, compliments will eventually come naturally.
When you compliment a woman, you should never expect a pay-off. But, the reality is that the pay-off is inevitable; you both win when you compliment a woman. Men need to know that complimenting a woman will come back to them in ways they can’t even understand. When a woman feels loved and appreciated, there are no boundaries to her love. She will thank you over and over and over…
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