I have had my share of ex-boyfriends and occasional lovers, every woman has. Sometimes they end on good terms. I can name quite a few boyfriends I am still very good friends with.
Sometimes, though, they end badly. You know what I mean, ladies. When it ends badly you cry, you eat ice-cream in your fluffy robe, and then you burn everything he ever gave you.
Once you’ve purged yourself clean, you move on. Sure, it might still ache when you think about him, but you’re able to get up, thrown on your make-up and face the world once more.
Sometimes, though, like a bad case of the flu… they come back. I can tell you just in this past month three of my ex’s have contacted me and I’m not happy about it.
There are some that give you that little twinge in your heart, and then there are those, like mine, who only make your gag reflex react.
Here are five reasons why, as tempting as it might be, you should not sleep with him again.
#1 He’s not going to change
Men are creatures of habit. They like routine, they appreciate things staying the same, and they know their comfort zones.
Sure, you might have dated the rebel. Your ex might have been that spur of the moment man who had this wild way of making everything new and fantastic!
Did you ever notice how he always had a ham sandwich and beer for lunch? Maybe he freaked out that time you bought him the wrong shampoo? Whatever the case may be, men are who they are.
If you have a good one, he will always be a good one and if you have a bad one…well, he’ll always be bad.
Don’t sleep with him when he says, “But, baby, things will be different this time!” because they won’t. I promise you that.
#2 You (should) have moved on
Did you eat three pints of ice-cream for nothing?! No, you didn’t. You ate all those lovely fattening calories in order to get rid of your emotions and move past him. You did that and survived.
Taking him back means you are back to square one with this guy and as much as you might say “No, he’s changed!” (see reason number five, please), or “I’ll be much smarter this time!” the truth is you won’t.
Go listen to Gloria Gaynor’s “I will survive”, hit repeat as often as you need to remind yourself of all the tears you shed over this guy who doesn’t deserve you.
#3 He’ll think you’re back together
I dated this guy a while back who was very arrogant. When we broke up, I fell right back into bed with him (the sex was awesome, I caved). I thought it would be a one night stand. He thought we were back together. In fact, he began to come over way too often for my comfort level.
I got sucked back into a relationship with him without even realizing it and had to go through the motions of breaking up with him yet again. Ladies, don’t fall for it.
#4 You’re missing out on future potentials
While I was being sucked into the relationship with the Ex from Hell (someone I should not have slept with again), I missed out on quite a few potentially nice guys.
I was too busy trying to figure out my pseudo-relationship with my supposed ex to move forward and find a guy that was good for me.
I know this one seems like a no-brainer, but trust me, you will be missing out on something great if you go back to sleeping with someone wrong.
#5 Going from “Lover” to “Booty call” is a downgrade
Let me tell you about my last little plaything. He and I were lovers.
Now, the reality of it was a lot different than the idea of it, but for the sake of time this is how it was… we hung out, we had sex, we had fun, and we had no strings attached, but we were sexually exclusive. It was a lover’s agreement.
Somewhere along the line this became too much for him to handle. Seeing each other twice a week for dinner or a movie and sex was too “relationship-like” for this guy. He told me he didn’t want to feel “obligated”.
So, I naturally ended it. I mean, being single and celibate is always better than being someone’s “obligation”. A few weeks later he called me for sex. Said we should be each other’s booty call and that it would work both ways… whenever he was available.
I really wish I was making that up.
What was my reply? I said going from lover to booty call sounds like a downgrade to me.
No woman in her right mind should ever sleep with a guy who calls her an obligation, downgrades her from lover, and then asks to see her at his convenience, no matter how good the sex is!
Let me tell you that in this case, his booty call is just him using you because he can. It’s being lovers without dinner first. I even tested him and tried to give him a booty call after his suggestion, and, just as I’d suspected, he said “I’m too busy tonight.” He was also too busy two nights later.
Ladies, there are plenty of men who will treat you right (or at least treat you with some manners before you have a night of fun with them) so don’t go back to the jerk who broke your heart and left you weeping in your dessert.
Don’t sleep with him again, it’s too easy to find yourself a new guy for that. Never sleep with someone who doesn’t deserve you, and trust me, if he’s an ex…he doesn’t deserve you.