Relationships

8 Reasons Why He Went Ghost On You And Disappeared

There's a clear reason why he backed off. It could be a combination of things, but whatever it may be, it’s not completely random. Here're the top 8 reasons

You’re probably wondering what you did wrong, going back and tracing your steps in hopes of discovering the reason why he up and vanished on you.

You might be cursing your plight right now thinking that men are so complicated and wondering what in the world goes on in their heads. No, men are not complicated. You already knew that and you have probably known it since middle school.

You may very well never know the truth about exactly why he dropped off the face of the earth. After all, it might have nothing to do with you.

Maybe he disappears and reappears at seemingly random times, which most likely means he’s been busy with someone else. But if he straight up went ghost on you, here are the most likely reasons why.

1) He started seeing someone else

guy and girl flirting


He'll give his heart to the first woman who does this...


Whether he got back together with an ex girlfriend or met someone he has a stronger connection with by chance, he chose them. It’s a simple fact of life that attractions vary.

If he met someone that he feels stronger about or maybe even is just more attracted to, he might not come back. If things don’t last long with the new girl, he might start texting you again and invite you to hang out.

2) You said, did, or didn’t do something

If you did something that rubbed him the wrong way the last time you saw him, you might not even have realized it. Think about how he reacted to all of the things you did together throughout the day or night.

If he’s not the type to call you out, he might not have even said anything about it. Some guys don’t like to even mention it if a girl does something that bothers them. Those kind of people just stop hanging out without any explanation.

Has he ever told you outright that you did something he doesn’t like? If he has, it’s much less likely that you did something that annoyed him.

If he usually speaks up right away, you can safely assume it’s either something else entirely, or a combination of too many things for him to even bother trying to work it out.

If you said something that offended him, you ought to give him a sincere apology. Being surprised that he took it so personally will only make the divide between you grow.

In order to fix it, you need to apologize in a down to earth way. If he feels like you thought you shouldn’t have to apologize for it, the apology will be meaningless to him.

3) Not everyone likes surprises

Cropped shot view of hipster guy reading text message on cell telephone while sitting outdoors in summer season

Did you surprise him with some sort of change last time you saw him? Maybe some unsettling news that you felt comfortable enough to share with him or something about your past that you never mentioned.

If he thinks you were hiding something from him or being dishonest that could be enough to chase him off for good.

If he was over at your apartment, it’s possible he did some snooping around while you were out of the room and discovered something that you might not want him to see. Which brings us to the next reason.

4) He notices who you text

He could have seen something he didn’t like in your phone, or noticed you’re still texting other guys, or both. If you still text other guys and it bothered him, he probably would have spoken up and asked you what the deal is if he felt like it wasn’t okay.

If he’s really just hunting for a girlfriend then he won’t want to have to ask you not to text other guys around him. As guys, we believe it’s common sense not to, but a lot of girls make the mistake of replying to a few quick texts from a guy thinking that we won’t care.

Men find it disrespectful. It shows us that you’re not taking our presence in the room seriously if you are talking to another guy right in front of us.

He wouldn’t have expected you to drop everything in your life for him, but if emotions have started to strengthen, he’ll have to make a decision about you.

It’s essential to building trust that you don’t bother answering other guys when he’s around, so if you have, he might have made up his mind that things have reached their limit because the relationship or whatever you had going was getting intense but he doesn’t trust you.

5) He’s going through a personal struggle

sad guy

Maybe he has a secret that you don’t know. Something traumatic could have happened to him in the past. Or maybe he recently lost a loved one.

Greif can be very difficult to deal with while maintaining a relationship. Some people react by shutting their partner out. This kind of behavior is common for people who are going through personal struggles.

If it is a personal issue, the good news is that he will cope with it better over time and feel more and more comfortable with the idea of being with someone, namely you.

6) He’s become extremely busy

Keeping in touch through texting throughout the day takes time. Not only does it take time to read and reply to messages, it demands your attention to be switched from one thing to another and back again.

If he’s trying really hard to concentrate on taking care of something important like catching up at work or preparing for a major exam, he might have simply chosen to shut everything else out as not to get distracted.

Some people handle stress better than others, and if he feels like you are pressuring him in any way on top of whatever he’s already dealing with, it could cause him to stop replying. That’s not to say that when things settle down that he won’t contact you.

7) He’s losing interest in you

sad guy

Anyone can just stop liking or even stop loving their partner at any time. If that happens, it’s probably no one’s fault. Attraction is a mysterious thing and it can definitely fluctuate.

There are certain things that can trigger this type of reaction though. If you started behaving differently recently or if he has, the change in chemistry could destroy the whole thing.

If he has lost his attraction to you, don’t bother trying to get him back through texting. You will just have to bump into him somewhere looking great and feeling confident. That’s your only chance.

8) What to do when a guy goes ghost on you

When a guy stops replying, you have a couple of tricks up your sleeve that you can use to get him back. Sexting is a surefire way to get his attention.

A bold text or two could stoke his fire once again and remind him what it was like being with you. It shouldn’t be anything too far out of your element, but just enough to get his imagination going.

You shouldn’t be so concerned about looking desperate at this point. If he’s already disappeared or barely ever responds, you’re on the outside looking in anyway.

Making a move is really the only option you have other than waiting for him to contact you. As mentioned above, showing up somewhere that you know he’ll be at looking amazing should work, but it will be pathetic if he knows the only reason you went there is for him.

You need a believable alibi otherwise it could backfire. Also, you run the risk of bumping into him with another girl so you’re taking your chances with this one.

The reason he stopped talking to you could be one of many different things or a combination of them, but you do have a chance to get him back. If you can get him to notice you again and be attracted to you, you have a very good chance of getting him back.

About the author

David Paulson

I’m a Florida native who can’t help but get myself into romantic trouble everywhere I look. During football season, I allow my weekends to be consumed with sports. During the long months in between, I focus most of my energy on trying to find the perfect match. So I’m here to share some of my knowledge with you, because I know deep down you’re just like me.

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