9 Signs He’s Willing To Commit But Is Actually Terrified

Reading into the signs can be quite hard and confusing. We know you don’t want to read them wrong so pay close attention and find out if he wants to commit!

You like him. He likes you. You want to be in a serious relationship with him. He doesn’t feel the same way… and it hurts.

Yes. This happens to grown-ups around you and I for one, based on my personal experience, can tell you that it’s not a situation you’d look forward to being.

When he doesn’t want to commit despite his obvious feelings for you, your heart isn’t just broken. It can be blown to smithereens you’d think it’s impossible to get it to be whole again.

If you haven’t been in this painful situation, good for you. Learn from other people’s mistakes so you don’t end up wasting your time with an immature guy who only wants the fun but runs when you talk about the serious side of life.

On the flip side, if you’re currently with a man who’s obviously into you but you can’t quite figure out whether he’s willing to commit or not, here are x signs that tell you he likes you a lot but is just not ready for a serious relationship just yet. Read on.

1) He's been hurt badly in the past


And because of that, he can’t help but repeat over and over how much he doesn’t want to have to go through the same agonizing heartbreak again.

He tells you this not because he thinks you’re a heartbreaker but because he likes you but he’s not ready to commit to you yet due to his painful past.

Wait for him to get over it first. Wait for him to heal and learn to trust again. You’d not want to be with someone who’s clearly hung up on his ex.

2) He’s sending you mixed signals

When you’re together, he treats you like you’re the most beautiful girl in the world. He makes you the happiest even with the littlest things he does.

However, when you guys part ways, it’s like he didn’t make any of the sweetest gestures that swept you off your feet. He even goes MIA on you for a few days, leaving you to wonder if you ever did anything wrong. You didn’t.

He can be confused that’s why he is taking some time off or he could be afraid that he’ll fall. Whichever is his reason for sending you mixed signals, know that you shouldn’t ever blame yourself for what he’s doing. If he’s not ready to commit, so be it.

3) You haven’t met the parents

woman meeting boyfriends parents

You know they exist because he talks about them from time to time. You know he goes to visit them when he can but he doesn’t ever ask you to join him so you can be formally introduced.

He hints on taking you to a family event or two because he “wants to show you off” but he never really gets around to doing it.

This is because while he is into you, he may be thinking that getting you introduced to his family signals you’re taking the relationship to the next level. And he may not be ready for such kind of commitment yet.

4) He wants to keep it “light”

Ever heard him say he wants to keep it “light” with you? I know at one point, you were like “What on earth does keeping it light exactly means?” to yourself.

Here’s the real deal: This means he likes you. He enjoys your company and he wants you to be around when it is convenient for him. But when life happens to him. to you, or to both of you at the same time, he wants to deal with it on his own.

He’s not ready for the “We’re in this together” mantra just yet. What’s the reason behind his reluctance to commit? You’ve got to find out.

5) He doesn’t care about labels

Couple in love during winter

Well, he isn’t as obsessed, at least not as much as you do. For him, what matters is you are together and you are happy with what you have and where you’re at.

Yes, he may not have called you his “girlfriend” and he may not have referred to himself as your “boyfriend” but that doesn’t mean that how he value you has changed.

He may just not be ready to commit to the heavy and serious responsibilities that come with the label but that doesn’t mean that he’d care any lesser for you. So don’t break a sweat. He’ll get there.

6) He constantly communicates then distances himself after

He texts you, calls and sends you a PM from morning to evening. He checks in on you just to make sure that you’re well.

When you thank him for his effort and consistency, he tries to play it cool and acts like what he’s been doing is no big deal.

If you observe him behaving this way, you can be certain that he wants to commit to you but is just scared. Make him feel that he’s appreciated nonetheless.

7) He gets jealous

Flirting woman at party with jealous partner

Ever noticed him acting jealous when someone hits on you and you hit them back playfully? If he does feel jealousy when you’re flirty and playful with the opposite sex when he’s around, it’s another sign that he wants to commit but is just scared.

Try calling him out for it and notice how he’d react. If he plays it cool and acts like it doesn’t really bother him and tells you that you can do whatever you want to do, that’s him telling you he wants to commit but is terrified.

8) He pushes you away then pulls you back again

He knows he doesn’t want anything in his life but you. He’s terrified of that very thought that he ends up being romantic to the point that he sweeps you off your feet then he pulls back right after.

It can be quite confusing and frustrating at the same time but it’s just the way it is if you’re with a man who wants to commit but is terrified of the changes that come with a serious commitment.

9) He sticks around after sex

young sexy couple in love lying in bed in hotel

Another obvious sign that he wants to commit but is scared is when he spends time giving you pleasure in bed and sticks around after that to cuddle and have some pillow talk with you.

He sleeps the night in but when you wake up in the working, you’d see him freaking out. This is because he’s terrified about the fact that he wants you too much that he hasn’t noticed that he already let his guard down.

If you see any of these tell-tale signs in your man, know that he’s not scared of commitment. A huge part of him wants to commit to you because he is into you.

He sees you as someone he can spend the rest of his life with. However, because of what happened to him in the past, a small part of him is still reluctant.

Now, if you truly love him, give him the time and space he needs so he can commit himself fully to you out of a willing heart. For sure, he just needs a little push so give him that and just be there for him no matter what. Good luck!

Are you with someone who wants to commit but is scared? How did you get him to commit to you? Share your thoughts in the comments!

About the author


Maine Belonio

Maine Belonio is a twenty-something mom and writer who has a penchant for coffee, long distance running, Tolkien, Switchfoot, and Jesus.

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