Here’s a sneak peak at the two books women are raving about that give practical advice to get and keep a lasting relationship. A good man is hard to find, and even harder to keep, so there’s no shame in seeking some help to learn ways to do it.
Do you feel like you’ve been single for forever? Do you feel like your chances of getting a great guy to marry you are about as likely as winning the lottery? Do you frequently think a guy is really interested in you and then he suddenly falls off the radar? Not only are you not crazy, you’re very normal.
Most women only begin to understand the way men act and judge our behaviors later on in life. We actually have to study how to attract a decent man and learn how to grow in our own lives. Not to worry, we don’t have to reinvent the wheel on this one, I read these two books and they offer enough solid advice to get you off to a great start today!
The first book you definitely want to check out is called How to Get the Man of Your Dreams: 7 Steps to Finding and Keeping a Man This book doesn’t sugar coat things and gives you real steps to take to not only get clear with what you want but to become the woman he wants.
The second book you should read if you feel like you’ve been on a dry spell, or feel like men get scared away by you and you don’t know why, is called Make a Man Addicted to You in 7 Simple Steps. Here’s a taste of the type of information you will find in them.
Keep in mind, the books go into way more detail and can be used as a resource throughout your relationship to refer back to.
Know how a man thinks
If you have ever found yourself wondering why men turn cold to you after seeming to like you a lot, reading these books can get you clued into why you might be turning them off. Just as we look for certain things in guys, these books show us, men also look for certain things in women. They are partly common sense, and you might find you’re doing things that you would find unacceptable in him.
Part of knowing how a man thinks is getting real with yourself and looking in the mirror. If you’re looking for a man of integrity, you must be a woman of integrity. When you are in public, do you treat people nicely or do you brush them off. Have you ever been with a man who is rude to your waitress? Does it make you want to stay with him?
There are many things that men find attractive in women besides looks, and remember, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. If we are able to show him respect by asking about his goals and supporting him with his shortcomings, we will be one step closer to having that long lasting balanced relationship we all desire. This is just the tip of the iceberg so check out what these books have to offer on the subject.
Mostly, just embrace your natural self. Don’t take forever to get ready and don’t freak out when things go wrong. If you are needy, always asking him to buy you things or do things for you, he’s definitely going to get annoyed. Girly girls can afford to be a bit more tomboyish and tomboys can afford to be a bit more girly. Find the happy medium.
Yes, we want to be strong women, but not so strong that we are too proud to admit our faults and seek help with our own shortcomings. Try not to dominate conversations or making plans, allow him to have a voice and have one of your own.
Sometimes women that once had trouble finding their voice become the exact opposite and wonder why men are still running away. Aim for balance and you will start to hone in on a great long lasting relationship.
Ask yourself what you want
Here’s the fun part where you get to use your imagination. We need to steer ourselves in the direction we want to go. Get clear with the type of man you want. That doesn’t mean height, hair color and income. It means the personality traits such as loyal, funny, family oriented, dedicated, persistent and much more. If you don’t set standards you won’t hit a high mark.
Just as you are looking for a special type of man, you want to ask yourself what type of woman you want to be. Do you want to be a lawyer or maybe get a PhD? What is going to make you interesting and extraordinary? Have a vision of where you are going and your drive will attract him more.
Also, don’t forget to speak to men in public; you have to overcome your fears of breaking the ice with some small talk. Don’t wait for him to introduce himself, if you’re interested, say hi.
Make some rules for yourself
This doesn’t mean you should make things boring. Most relationship advice experts agree that you should have some time of courtship which allows him to show you he is in it for the long haul and it allows you to see his true character. You can’t judge someone after a first date; I mean you barely know them. It just takes time to let the flowers bloom.
A plant doesn’t grow immediately after you plant it, right? It develops slowly into a sprout, a seedling, a young plant and then a mature plant. That’s how you will learn to look at your relationship after you read these awesome books.
Also, know what you won’t put up with in advance. This is also a way to be fair to him. If you know you don’t want children, don’t break a guy’s heart if he has two kids. If you know up front that you’re not attracted to him, cut him some slack and don’t wait a few months only to realize you’re still not attracted to him. By that time he might be head over heels in love with you and it could take him a lot longer to get over you.
If you see that a guy is dishonest to other people, consider that a red flag. You must see that he has morals and is a hard worker. If he’s living off of his parents and mooching, he’ll probably do the same with you. Good looking guys sometimes do this because they can get away with it.
There’s got to be something behind those looks ladies, and it’s called substance. Don’t let him manipulate you with a sob story about how he lost his job. Anyone can get a hold of a job unless they are physically disabled.
Get some hobbies and take your space
You mustn’t smother the man. These books make one thing very clear, you must have outside interests besides him, otherwise you come across as desperate. Remember in high school, when you started dating someone and stopped hanging out with your friends? Or for that matter, remember when your best friend did that to you? It’s easy to see how this leads to an imbalanced relationship.
It often happens that a man is scared away if he feels like he needs to entertain you all the time and feels constricted. Encourage him to do things with his friends. This will also give you an opportunity to have ‘me time’ as well as give him opportunities to show you how he is actually worthy of your respect.
On the other hand, don’t get involved with a man who has no hobbies. This is a two way street, you both need to have passions besides each other or you’re going to get sick of each other and start bickering really quickly. Mark your calendar with events and plan things; this is going to be a big part of maintenance in your relationship.
This is the fun part! You don’t have to look like Marilyn Monroe, but you have to love who you are. You can’t complain about your looks or focus on your less than favorite body parts. If you carry a few extra pounds, rock it. Men love a woman with confidence more than anything.
These books are full of great ways to put your best foot forward and it doesn’t have to cost you a fortune. Just get dressed like you actually care about yourself and start exercising every day. Exercise will build your confidence and you will begin to glow, not from the sweat, but from the endorphins released when you get outside.
Have some interesting goals and feel free to dress up for him. Find the fine line between looking easy and looking like a nun. You’ll figure it out. There are fun ideas in these books about how to spice up your relationship once you get to the phase of intimacy. If he is a decent and amazing guy, you both deserve to love every part of your relationship.
Get off your high horse and ask for his advice
What I loved about these books was that they offered advice for better communication. We might look the part of an amazing woman but fall drastically short when it comes to communicating. Are you patient? Do you lose your temper easily and say things you don’t really mean?
You need to consider meditation and breathing techniques if you’re a hot head because divas don’t usually keep good men around for long. Just as you would run away if your man was overemotional, he’ll be out the door if you cry every time the puppy misses the wee-wee pad.
Know how to spot a dud
I love how these books keep it real. Hey, sometimes we just have to cut our losses and call a spade a spade. You will learn how to recognize, realistically, whether you’re trying to save a sinking ship. This advice is very valuable, because sometimes, what is very obvious to those outside of our relationship is hard for us to come to terms with.
It’s not fun to break it off, but sometimes, fear can cripple us and make us worry that we will be single for another 9 years. If you spent 9 years working on yourself, I highly doubt the man you found is the only one that will recognize your beauty and good qualities. Continue to be a hardworking, dedicated woman of integrity, and your energy will attract the same back to you. Don’t forget that.
Use positive words but don’t be a stage 5 clinger
As you read these books you’re going to find all different types of empowering tips that will give you the tools you need to attract and sustain a fun and healthy relationship. You will learn how to self-correct and how to build positive energy.
As you build your confidence in your own ability to attract the man of your dreams, don’t be surprised if more than one show up. Keep a safe distance in order to get to know them and do it with sensitivity.
Once you become irresistible, don’t become the female version of a player or you will end up with a whole new bag of issues. On the other hand, if he’s really not that into you, don’t have an ego and let the man go. Stop texting him, stop calling and realize that there are 7.2 billion people on the planet, half of which are men.
You can’t go wrong reading these books; they have something they don’t teach us in school and something we certainly can’t learn from movies or magazines. They are good advice, grounded in reality. Stay positive, keep your words positive, and your thoughts.
You will start to love your life and men will enjoy being around you. You have the power to turn this ship around and make it a great cruise! Romance is knocking, so hurry up and open the door!
Thanks for reading, and after you check out these books, leave comments below or any other good advice for our community of strong women on YouQueen.