Engagement jealousy is something that may seem like it is straight from a movie, but the reality is that it is very real.
Although a lot of women and men feel like it is nothing they will ever experience, many people end up experiencing it. This is because it is part of human nature to want something that others have.
Additionally, it is also something that is rooted from always wanting what others have, jealousy, and the desire to be included or part of the crowd.
If you do have engagement jealousy it is nothing to be ashamed of. However, it is important to supress it in a healthy manner and to also look into it and what it means for you.
What Is Engagement Jealousy?
Engagement Jealousy is a feeling of disdain, sadness, stress, and anger when you hear that someone you know is getting married. These emotions tend to cloud our judgment and our minds.
No matter if you are single or dating, engagement jealousy tends to be something that emerges and then effects relationships and the person feeling the engagement jealousy.
How Do You Know If You Have Engagement Jealousy
From other people looking at people with engagement jealousy, it is easy to see that this is what they are suffering from. However, if you are a person experiencing engagement jealousy then you probably do not even realize you have this.
Take YouQueens quiz to see if you are experiencing engagement jealousy. It is important that you reflect on these questions and the answers.
You must be honest with yourself when taking this quiz. You also should record the number that is associated with the answer you select in order to find the answer in the end.
1) Is your relationship with your engaged friend all of a sudden more tense?
– Yes (5 points)
– Some days it is, especially when we are talking about the wedding or doing wedding prep (4 points)
– It fluctuates (3 points)
– No everything is the same (0 points)
2) Do you try to avoid your engaged friend more?
– Yes (5 points)
– Some days, especially when we are supposed to be doing wedding prep (4 points)
– It fluctuates because I know they will talk about the engagement and wedding (3 points)
– Occasionally, only when I’m feeling upset about my relationship (2 points)
– No everything is the same (0 points)
3) Do you find you are pressuring or hinting at your partner for marriage more than ever?
– Yes, everyone I know is getting engaged! (5 points)
– I definitely have started dropping more hints about it (4 points)
– Some days when I have been hanging out with my engaged friends I mention it more to my partner (3 points)
– I try to not mention it much, but I think about it a lot (2 points)
– More of my friends are getting engaged and it is starting to come to mind (1 point)
– This topic and the amount my partner and I discuss it has not changed (0 points)
4) Are you joining your engaged friends in their happiness?
– Yes, of course, this is so exciting! (0 points)
– Yes I am very excited, but it’s starting to get old (2 points)
– I am excited for them, but I do keep thinking about how I want this too (3 points)
– I’m happy for them, but it’s fading and I don’t want to be immersed with dealing with them (4 points)
– I am not happy about this (5 points)
5) Are weddings all you can think about all of a sudden and you don’t know why?
– It’s all I can think about and this is uncommon (5 points)
– I must admit, it does come to mind more than it ever has recently (4 points)
– I do think about it more, but not too frequently (3 points)
– It comes to mind but nothing too serious (2 points)
– A number of times I think about this has remained the same as before (0 points)
6) Are you arguing with your partner more than before due to your friend’s engagement?
– We won’t stop arguing, even over silly things…I don’t know why I am just very irritated (5 points)
– We are definitely arguing a lot more and it’s because of my friend's engagement (4 points)
– We do fight over more things now and we both seem a bit more different and distant since my friend's engagement (3 points)
– We fight a bit more, but we are working on this (2 points)
– We aren’t fighting any more than usual (0 points)
7) Are you all of a sudden starting to feel that you and your partner should take the next step
– Yes, that’s a big internal conflict (5 points)
– It has definitely crossed my mind a lot more and I am considering it more than I have before (4 points)
– It’s come across my mind, but I’m only remotely considering it (3 points)
– It came to mind, but I’m not thinking about it (2 points)
– It hasn’t even crossed my mind (0 points)
Now that you have finished the quiz, add up the scores you recorded from the answers you chose in the quiz.
If you got 0-11 points it means that you do not have engagement jealousy! This is a good thing as you are genuinely happy about your friend’s engagement. It also means that you are also very content, secure, and happy about your current relationship status and life.
If your result from the quiz was 12-22 points, it means you have a more mild case of engagement jealousy. This means that you may not even realize it, but you are starting to have more issues in your relationship because of this. It also means that you may be resenting and having bad feelings about your friend’s engagements without even realizing it.
Lastly, if you got a result of 23-35 it means you definitely have engagement jealousy. Your score also means that your personal love life is being affected because of the fact that marriage and becoming engaged is a prominent thought in your mind. Additionally, your friendship is definitely becoming strained due to the engagement jealousy you are experiencing.
What To Do When Everyone’s Getting Married And You’re Still Single
It is important to realize you are experiencing engagement jealousy, and to accept it. You also then need to realize that this is something you need to deal with.
Although it is natural, it is also something that will start to hinder and damage your relationship and friendship with the person you know who is getting engaged.
The best thing to do is to tell your partner how you feel, to let him know your thoughts. You also need to mention how marriage is something that is on your mind, but you will need to calm down and relax. Just because your friend is getting married soon, it doesn’t mean that you all of a sudden need to do that as well.
Instead, of rushing and pushing your partner for this, you need to keep it minimal, have an open dialogue, and try to ease your jealousy. You should remind yourself to be happy, enjoy your life, and to not be jealous of your friends. Instead, appreciate what you have.
However, it is important to also realize what your engagement jealousy is telling you. Chances are it is letting you know that subconsciously you are ready for the next step in your relationship and that you want more.
Despite that realization, you also need to remember to not let engagement jealousy get in the way of your life. Meaning, you must not let your engagement jealousy take control, consume you, cloud your judgment, and take over.
If you can think of any other advice for anyone who has engagement jealousy or for anyone who is also wondering what to do when everyone’s getting married and you’re still single or not engaged, feel free to share!