Breaking up with someone is hard no matter the scenario. In the end, at least one of the two of you will be upset about it. Although break-ups may seem like they are bound to be dramatic, messy, and heart-wrenching, it actually does not have to be that way.
By knowing how to break up nicely it can help the other person feel better and move on. It can also help you feel better, and things will be easier in the end for everyone. Read on to learn how to break up nicely with your partner by following YouQueens steps.
Step 1 – Reflect
If you want to know how to break up nicely with someone, you first need to know why you are breaking up with them. You need to come to terms with the main points, be honest with yourself, and figure out how to phrase why you are breaking up with them.
Step 2 – Give them a warning sign
Although this step may sound cruel, it is necessary. You need to send your partner a text saying “can we talk?”. That is all you need to say and if your partner demands to know why via text. You can’t tell them why via text, so you can’t respond when they keep pestering you about what is going on.
Additionally, you also need to remember that you cannot say “I love you” or anything that will bring them comfort and solace. As much as this is cruel, in reality, it is necessary. It will give them a heads up so they will not be blindsided.
Step 3 – The setting for the talk
Meeting at a private place is the best idea. This way once you deliver the news your partner will not feel embarrassed, hurt, ashamed, or like they need to react and make a scene.
However, if you feel that your partner may react violently, or in a manner which will make you feel uncomfortable, uneasy, and not safe, then meet at a quiet café. This way you will both have privacy, but will also be sure that you are also surrounded by people for safety as a precaution.
As well, make sure wherever you chose to break up with them, it is a place where you can leave quickly, and where they can be comfortable and also have the chance to leave quickly.
Meaning, if you do it at your house, you may be stuck with them refusing to leave. Thus, their house is a better place because you can leave, and they can already be in the comfort of their home.
This is great, especially if they will be taking the break up badly. You may also want to consider doing this in a café, restaurant, or even park if you feel they will react poorly because that way you have other people around, the chance to leave whenever, and they also have the chance to leave too.
Step 4 – What to say
It is important to say that the relationship had moments of pure enjoyment, fun, and greatness. However, it is also important to say why you are breaking up with them, and why the relationship will not work out.
It is crucial to remember to never point fingers as that will make it even harder. Additionally, you should never use the cliché line, “it’s not you, it’s me”. This will only make things worse for your partner.
Once you start talking to your partner, you need to remember what you reflected on (this was step 1). You also need to be direct, to the point, and not ranting or venting. The blame game is also something that should not be played.
Be honest, but not blunt. You need to remain aware of their emotions and still be sensitive to them. After all, this is the best way for breaking up nicely.
Step 5 – Once the talking is done…
After you are done telling your partner that your relationship is over, you need to listen to what they say. However, do not argue, have banter back and forth, and also do not give any empty promises.
Listen to what they say, and then respond in a manner that answers their questions and works well in your favor while also maintain a sensitive nature and demeanor.
Additionally, remind them that this is permanent, and while you do sooth them, also refrain from giving any empty promises or false hope.
If you do that, it will only be harder in the long run for them as they won’t have any closure. Instead, be more blunt and honest by reiterating that the relationship is done and that your decision is final.
Remember, you wanted to break up, this was your choice, and although you do owe it to them to discuss this. It is important to remain in control, be polite, kind, and also strong in your stance.
You also need to make sure you don’t go in circles and don’t leave off with making them feel like there is a chance for the two of you down the road.
Step 6 – The don'ts
Although to you this may be freedom or a celebratory matter, it is crucial that you do not do the following things. You must not post about this, or jump into the dating scene right away. You are reading this because you want to know how to break up nicely, meaning you need to listen to this crucial step.
This may seem like you are being held back, restricted, or even punished. However, the reality and reasoning behind this is that in order to be nice about this, you still need to be sensitive. You just broke up with someone meaning if you display that you are already moving on and partying, your partner will feel as if they meant nothing to you due to your behavior.
However, do not also stop yourself. If you do want to go out and party, then just make sure it is low key just so they won’t be hurt any more than they already are, by your actions.
Step 7 – Reaching out
If you’re now ex-partner reaches out to you, the best option is to not respond. I know that this is very cruel and rude. However, if you reach out, your ex will feel that you care and are still there for them. Meaning, they will also start to have false hope which will only make it harder for them to move on from the breakup.
Breaking up nicely can be a very difficult thing, and of course, the best ways to break up nicely may vary depending on the circumstances. Some would say breaking up nicely is an art form. However, it truly just means that you must be honest, sensitive, mature, reasonable, and willing to take the high road.
As well, if you feel that your ex may become depressed or suicidal, then you will need to check up on them. You will also need to talk to their friends and family to give them your thoughts. Call the police if you have the reason too.
If you are planning on breaking up with your current partner, I hope this advice will help you, and things will go smoothly.
As well, if you can think of any other ways to help people know and learn how to break up nicely, feel free to share!