Relationships

How To Date An Emotionally Damaged Man

When you love someone, you don't want to ever let them go. But what a girl should do when her man is emotionally damaged and extremely hard to cope with?

Christian Grey. Bruce Wayne. Daegus MacKeltar. All three characters are quite different in many ways but there is one similar characteristic. All three men are emotionally damaged.

While they have come into success in their respective lives, their relationships with significant others have been incredibly strained. Yet, there has always been one love interest in each man's life who never gave up on them.

Christian had Anastasia. Bruce had Selina Kyle. Daegus had Chloe. Each woman has faced difficulties in their pursuit of a relationship with their men, but, they serve as a proving point to show that even an emotionally damaged man is capable of being part of a healthy relationship.

Girls and women everywhere have been spoon fed this notion that life is a fairy tale and that things will magically work out no matter who we fall in love with.

Unfortunately, relationships are difficult to maintain. A relationship with an emotionally damaged man is nothing short of an uphill battle. He’s not like any other man you’ve encountered before.

The signs are clear. He wears a mask, usually one full of cool confidence, to hide his inner turmoil. He regards his world shrewdly and rarely looks beyond the surface of anything he sees. He is mercurial to the point where you may think he has a split personality.

He rarely smiles…and when he does, his smile never reaches his eyes…so it looks more like he is smirking or sneering. You can never see through his facades and it becomes even more of a mystery.

So, how does a sane, rational girl approach the prospect of building a relationship with such a daunting man?

Like with other types of men, the emotionally broken man craves what is missing in his life…and, if he thinks he has it all, he will be wondering why he feels incomplete.

1. Patience is key

romantic couple hugged

Much like every other kind of viable relationship, you can't move forward if you lack the patience to do so.

An emotionally broken man needs all the patience you can give him. He is insecure. He needs to know that he is important.

Unlike a more emotionally stable suitor, he will tend to be clingy and somewhat possessive of you. While possessiveness isn't an ideal trait in a man, the emotionally damaged male can't really help it.

He's been hurt. He's been burned. He's been traumatized. Like with a survivor of a horrific event, it will take time for a human being to heal and they need all the patience and help they can get.

If you're patient, he will open up to you a lot more than if you ignore him. He will put you through a lot during the course of your relationship…but if you don’t allow your patience to wear thin, you will make a lot of progress in getting his heart.

2. Give him his space

While it's always good to give your man space to breathe, the emotionally damaged man will need more space than his stable counterparts.

He is probably used to being alone a lot, and he is usually alone with his own thoughts. The prospect of sharing his personal life with someone is very daunting and he will need time to himself to adjust and adapt to his new environment.

So, if he doesn't answer your calls or your texts, he is feeling overwhelmed and needs time to get used to the ever-changing dynamics surrounding your relationship.

Don't panic. He's not out there partying it up and hanging around other women. He is most likely at home, decompressing. He will need more space, more often, at first…but as your relationship grows, he will become less distant and will need his space less often.

By staying back a little and not overwhelming him, you show him that you trust him and believe in him. This will go a long way and will eventually create a stronger bond.

3. Always be there for him

Couple hugging in the bathroom

No matter what he thinks his situation is, an emotionally damaged man will appreciate a lady who will always stand in his corner.

I won't lie…sometimes it will be a struggle to get his trust…but, when he finally sees that you're going up to bat for him, he will drop his guard. As mentioned before, the emotionally damaged man is capable of love…he just approaches the whole situation differently. It’s hard for him to trust unless he sees tangible proof. By remaining in his corner when things get difficult for him, it will show him that you care and he will become less wary around you.

Again, it will take time and persistence, but he will come to trust you with his demons and then you can only move forward from there.

Also, even if it seems like the least significant thing, being there for your man will create an unbreakable bond with you.

4. Always listen to what he has to say

An emotionally damaged man can be infuriating at times with his silence, but it's only because he isn't sure that you will listen to him.

Although it is a difficult process to get an emotionally damaged man to open up to you, he will trust you a lot more easily if he knows you will always listen to his words, even if it's just to rant.

As mentioned before, he is so used to relying on his own intentions and instincts to get through his days. He finds it a daunting task to bring someone into his personal circle. Once he realizes that he can confide in you, he will begin to tell you things that he once found impossible to share. Isn't that a great step in the right direction?

Plus, even the most stable man has his insecurities. Will he be up front about it? Of course not. However, even the most emotionally damaged man will peel his layers back…one by one…until he reveals every insecurity he faces. Why? It's because he knows that you will listen and it will make him feel more secure.

Sharing your life with an emotionally damaged man won't be the easiest thing in the world that you will face. Look past his facade and see him for who he really is. There will be a lot of challenging nights full of silence, sadness, and questions. But, if you decide that the man in your life is worth all the effort, then you must put in the work. Be patient. Give him space he needs. Always be there for him and always listen to him.

5. Give him tangible proof of your love

Fashion photo of sexy young brunet lovers they are hugging and kissing on a bad at home

Men are literal creatures. They aren’t into cloak and dagger. They don’t do well with subtle hints and clues.

An emotionally damaged man will be even more incapable of handling mysteries. He will want physical proof of love and devotion. He has no desire or patience for games…he’s been through enough. So if you want to pursue this relationship, you will have to hang on and prove your love.

Romantic gestures aren’t totally lost on men, but they prefer simple things. Show your devotion by paying attention to him. When he needs you, be there. Avoid flirting with other men, whether he is with you or not and never ever talk about other men in your life within his earshot. Remember that he is insecure and needs you to prove yourself worthy of him. It sounds trite, but it’s anything but false.

The emotionally damaged partner will not want to share you with anyone else. If he has any sort of inkling that you’re not fully committed to him, he will end the relationship right then and there. So if you want him, you need to be in it for the long haul and show him that he’s the one for you.

If you put in the time and effort into your man, your relationship will become strong and you will both be able to face anything that comes your way.

Never give up!

About the author

Tina C.

Tina C. is a young “Jill of All Trades” who aspires to be a best-selling author someday. A well-educated, well-read, and well-traveled individual, Tina takes pride in all of her work and loves trying something new.

6 Comments

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  • While I completely agree that patience is the key, I disagree that all damaged men will be clingy and possessive. The man I’m dating was royally screwed over by his ex-wife (married for 10 years), then again by an ex-girlfriend (together for 5 years). Not only is he afraid to trust others, he no longer trusts himself, wondering how he was so wrong about these two women. He has become a loner who feels most comfortable at home with his teenage kids. Far from being clingy and possessive, he stays in his own head much of the time because it’s just safer there. And yet he’s told me that he likes a lot of things about me and is able to relax and enjoy my company after the initial tense anticipation of someone invading his space. This amazing man has so many good qualities. I have not entered into a relationship with him in order to “fix” him, but if my calm, accepting, loving presence in his life helps him recover his mojo, then that’s a bonus. =)

  • I’m so glad I found this article right now when my guy’s silence is driving me crazy and has me worried that it means that he’s changing his mind about me. It’s not the first time this has happened, which makes me wonder why I haven’t conquered my uncertainty by now, but I found this article helpful in reinstating patience and faith that he’ll come around again like he always has. I just have to remember that he needs his space.

  • The emotionally damaged man doesn’t want any of this, especially from a woman. What he wants is for you to leave him alone.Thank you.