Relationships

How To Find The Perfect Guy On Dating Apps

Dating can feel like a full-time job but you don’t have to let it take over your life. Read on to find out how to find on dating apps just the perfect guy for you!

Thanks to dating apps, dating can sometimes feel like a full-time job. And since you actually have a full-time job, that's not great news.

How are you supposed to figure out who's worth talking to, let alone actually grabbing a drink with on a Friday night? The truth is that finding a good guy online is a lot easier than you probably think.

It’s time to start enjoying online dating because it’s easy and convenient. Read on to find out how to weed out guys on dating apps so you can find a guy actually worth meeting in real life… and so you can make a real love connection this time.

1) Listen to your gut

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You know that listening to your gut is a really important thing in life and that when you don’t listen to your gut, you’re always sorry.

You may think your gut instincts can't tell you anything about a guy when you’re chatting on a dating app. After all, you’re not sitting across from him, right? How can you tell what kind of person he is?

The truth is that your gut instincts can tell you a lot if you just take a deep breath and pay attention. You know if you're getting a creepy vibe from someone.

If you want to know how to weed out guys on dating apps, then learn to listen to yourself. Learn to stop talking to someone when you’re not getting the best vibe. It’s much better than going on the date and meeting the guy in person and realizing that you don’t want to be there.

2) Know that you don’t owe anyone anything

You have absolutely no obligation to anyone that you talk to via a dating app.

If you've been chatting with someone for an hour on Tinder and realize that you have zero interest in meeting them in real life, then you don’t have to.

You really don’t. You don't owe them anything. And you definitely don't owe them any more of your time and energy, especially if they're being rude, insulting or just kind of weird.

Knowing how to weed out guys on dating apps is really as simple as being more careful about who you go on a date with. You don’t have to go out with everyone. And you probably shouldn’t (especially since then all you would be doing is dating and you do have a life too).

3) Stop texting so much before the first date

smiling girl texting

When you have a first date scheduled on your calendar, it can be very tempting to text someone for several days up until you actually meet them in person.

The problem is that if someone is texting you too much, he might be very clingy if you actually start dating him… or worse (as in he might be crazy).

If you've both been texting like it's going out of style, there's a reason. He might be so desperate for a girlfriend that he already thinks that you are already his or something equally as creepy.

Knowing how to weed out guys on dating apps is all about being cautious, so save the texting for making plans (at least in the early stages).

4) Go on fewer dates

Wait, isn’t the whole point of using a dating app so you can go out on dates?

Yes, of course. But it's also like meeting a guy in a bar or through a friend. Sometimes you like them and sometimes you don't. It's totally okay to chat with someone for a bit and decide that they're just not for you. You would definitely rather go on fewer bad dates, right?

So make this your new dating motto and stick to it. If you want to know how to weed out guys on dating apps, then go ahead and schedule fewer dates. If you think more carefully about who you actually want to meet, you might be surprised at how much clarity you have.

5) Make a plan ASAP

Young woman sitting and thinking

You don’t want to talk to someone forever and then realize that they had no intention of ever meeting you face-to-face. Maybe this has happened to you before and you’ve learned your lesson. Or maybe it hasn’t yet. But either way, this is a good online dating lesson to learn and remember.

It doesn't matter how sweet and funny and charming this guy is (at least on your iPhone). If he won't actually meet you in person, then you have to move on and find someone who will.

It's basically a law of online dating: the longer you chat, the less chance there is of an actual date. If he has no interest in making a plan and gives you a bunch of excuses (he's busy, he's working, he's going on vacation), then cut things off.

6) Make the first move

If you really want to know how to weed out guys on dating apps, then making the first move is something that you really, really want to do.

Do you want to be a passenger in your dating life, sitting back and waiting for guys to message you? Do you want to miss out on meeting a decent guy because he was too nervous to ask you out and you refused to?

If you want to be more in control, then you definitely need to make the first move. This will not only help you figure out what kind of people you actually want to date but will prove which guys just can't handle a woman taking charge.

7) Be a bit paranoid

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While this might sound a bit silly, it’s honestly good advice.

You know that there are losers out there who don't know how to talk to a woman, whether online or in person.

Never assume that someone is a good person even though they're insulting you or asking for a naked photo (ugh). They're not and they should know better. It's best to be as careful as you can about who you chat with, let alone meet for a drink.

8) Stick to your values and principles

It's okay to have a list of qualities that you want in a potential boyfriend. That doesn't make you super picky or a diva. You're smart and you know who you want (and who you don't want).

You could have the best online chat with someone about your latest Netflix obsession but if you don't think he's cute, he lives an hour away, and his profile says hook-ups only, why would you even bother?

Make a list (either on paper or just in your head) of the qualities that you want someone to have and then make sure that you go out with guys that fit that list. Easy, right?

9) Know the difference between being nervous and being scared

You're going to be a bit nervous about going on a first date. There's really no way around it. If you never get any first date nerves, then you’re probably not telling the truth.

But there's a difference between normal butterflies and an unsettling feeling that you shouldn't meet this person. You can absolutely cancel the date if you change your mind or feel unsafe.

10) Remember that what a guy is like in person counts more

Cropped shot of a young affectionate couple on a first date

You want a guy who is better in person than he is on paper (or on your phone).
Unfortunately, sometimes a guy is really fascinating when you’re chatting online. You think he’s funny, smart, and all of the positive qualities that you want in a partner.

Naturally, you jump at the chance to meet him in person and start dreaming of all the romantic moments that the two of you are definitely going to have.

Not so fast. He might be more boring when you’re sitting across from each other in a bar than when you were chatting back and forth. And that’s really not a good sign.

Don't keep dating someone just because you had a good feeling about them. If he's not the nicest person or makes you feel bad in any way, shape or form, then make sure there isn't a second date. Plain and simple.

Online dating is not exactly a piece of cake, but that doesn’t mean you can’t find success with this method of dating. If you want to know how to weed out guys on dating apps, then follow these tips and you should be good to go when it comes to finding the right person for you. Now get swiping.

Have you found success with online dating? What are your tips and tricks for finding the right guy on dating apps? Share your thoughts with us in the comments below!

About the author

Aya Tsintziras

Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor. She loves coffee, barre classes, 90s television and pop culture. She is a food blogger at A Healthy Story and shares gluten-free, dairy-free recipes and personal stories.

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