We all know things that can make a guy happy, but what is it that makes him unhappy and scares him away? Many women have been told what to do, and don’t know the big NO NO’s of relationships that are obvious to men, and almost a different language to some women.
If you want to know how to make your boyfriend happy, let’s put it all out there to give you the best shot possible in a relationship and keep your men happy, shall we?
1. Be jealous
Easier said than done, right? Where does jealousy stem from, our man or our own insecurities? If we truly aren’t looking for happiness in someone else and are happy on our own but do have a man, we will not be jealous and here is why. If you trust yourself, you have no reason to think that you attracted a dishonest man to you.
If you know your worth, you know he’s losing a lot if he messes it up, and your time is too valuable to be pining over and speculating on all the ways he might be ruining your life. Unless you see it, don’t sniff it out, because when you focus on things, it can bring them into your reality.
Jealousy can turn a good man mad and push him away from you. If you are badgering him with questions, throwing jealous glares at him in public, or reading through his text messages, chances are the man won’t want to stay with you.
If you give him no leash and just trust him, he will want to live up to your standards of impeccability. If you have self-worth, trust him; unless he gives you the reason to think otherwise.
Jealousy from either person is a real turn off, especially when you are trustworthy. It will make someone turn cold to you and is actually insulting. So don’t let those thoughts creep into your mind, know your worth and if he messes up, move on.
2. Insult his mother
Even if your boyfriend sometimes talks badly about his mother, it doesn’t give you the right to say anything bad about her. If you don’t want to insult him, you’ll make sure you don’t cross the line with this. Instinctive feelings come up when anyone insults our mothers, and it’s not worth ruining a relationship just by saying a few cheap lines about her. Keep those feelings to yourself and you’ll keep him happy.
3. Go back on your word
If you really want to keep your boyfriend happy, keep your word. Just as we like men to do what they say, they like us to do so too. Call when you say you will, show up on time, and don’t stand him up. If you blow him off or forget to follow through with things, it will make you look like you don’t care and make you look irresponsible, because all he has to go by is your actions.
Following through with what you say you’re going to do builds strength and trust in a relationship. If you are flakey, he will get discouraged. If your boyfriend is serious about you, he won’t want you to play games, so just be direct and do what you say.
4. Be bossy
If you want to keep your boyfriend happy, try not to crack the whip too much. Have you ever seen a girl that calls all the shots? The poor guy gets dwarfed by her alpha male attitude and it’s not fun for him. If you have a tendency to be a control freak, try to keep it under control, pun intended.
Just be aware of it and remind yourself to ask him what he would like to do, and ask him what movie he would like to watch. Sweet guys can be pushovers just like many girls can, but don’t take advantage of the situation because it won’t keep your relationship balanced or healthy.
I’m all for a woman speaking her mind, but don’t go overboard. The goal is equality, not tyranny, right?
5. Offend his friends
When you’re dating someone, it takes a while to know the history of him and his friends. Maybe they have been through a lot, and they have a love-hate relationship. The point is, never say slanderous things about your man’s friends if you want to keep him happy. Classy ladies know how to keep their words positive and choose them wisely.
When you talk about his friends, point out their good qualities, and it will build positive relationships between you and them. If your boyfriend feels like you don’t like his friends, he will feel like he has to choose between you and them, and that is not a fun feeling. So keep him happy and if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.
6. Break his trust
This seems like an obvious statement, but the ways we can break trust are less than obvious. If you are in the habit of telling white lies just because it’s easy, he will notice. You will also break his trust if you often lie to other people. If he sees you lying to family members and close friends about things, he will have every reason to think you’d lie to him.
Just think about how it would look if the tables were turned. If you man lies to his best friend and says that he can’t hang out because he is slammed with work, but really wants to do something with you, that is an unnecessary lie, right? It makes you feel uncomfortable, doesn’t it? If you want to keep your boyfriend happy, speak truthfully with everyone, not just him.
7. Be desperate
Where does desperation come from, us or them? If we are insecure, it comes off as desperation. Women often blame their boyfriends for making them feel insecure. Then we start texting them incessantly and demanding to know how much they care about us all the time.
If you show that you are insecure in the relationship, it only means you need to look at yourself. Why do you think you’re invaluable? As they say, you cannot put the key to your happiness in someone else’s back pocket.
Make a list of the positive qualities you have that you are proud of and that he is lucky to have you for. Magazines have encouraged women to compare their looks to other women in a very biased way. If you find yourself asking how you look often, it will come off as desperate. Men love a woman that is confident with who she is naturally, and you have no reason to obsess over how you look.
Most men don’t even like lots of makeup or extremely skinny women. Everyone has different tastes and if your boyfriend is attracted to you, it’s because of your personality and who you are. So try not to smother him, give him space and show him you are independent.
8. Pressure him about the next step
It takes patience to develop a strong relationship, and if you pressure your boyfriend to move in together or get engaged, chances are he will feel like you’re forcing him. It’s best to let things happen naturally and realize that if you get along, that’s all that matters and if you don’t get along, moving in together isn’t going to solve that problem.
If you are inclined to pressure him about the next step, it might indicate that you yourself are insecure about the relationship. Remember, titles don’t change the way you both interact, and if he has cold feet, it could be because the communication between you two needs some TLC.
9. Try to make him change
This is the oldest trick in the book. Why do we start a relationship hoping a man is going to change? It’s important to accept your boyfriend for who he is, in the flesh. If you fell in love with your idea of him, and not the real him, that’s not his fault. If you are pushing him to do things he doesn’t want to do, it’s not going to make him happy.
You can really only control what you do, and lead an example through that. Often our own opinions about how someone should lead their life change over time. Think back to how many different ways you’ve eaten over the past few years.
Sometimes we get really into something and think everyone else should also be really into it. Try to let him have room to be himself, and love him for who he is, not who you want him to be.
If you try to change your boyfriend, he will feel pressure and it won’t keep him happy. If you focus on what you like about him, and his good traits, it will build confidence in him, and help him develop in positive ways. I’m not telling you to inflate his ego and ignore things that really bother you, but accept that no one is perfect, not even yourself.
We all have our ways of dealing with stress, and for some of us, we play video games, some of us go hiking with our friends and some of us drink a lot of coffee. As long as he is not hurting himself or anyone else, let him work things out on his own, and just be a supportive friend. You’re more likely to receive the same treatment when you go through changes too.
10. Speak down to him
Have you ever been spoken down to? How does it feel? Not good, right? If you think you are the smartest person since Einstein, and insult your boyfriend’s intelligence on a regular basis, even if it’s in a playful way, it really won’t make him happy. Often that is just our ego barking, needing to validate itself as being so great, but it actually makes us look arrogant and isolates us from people.
A truly smart person is a great listener and is very careful with their words. A smart person knows that to make someone happy, you don’t talk about yourself, you ask about them.
As women struggle to get equal treatment still today, we have a tendency to overstep our goals and swing too far in the other direction. It’s just as wrong for a woman to speak down to a man as it is for a man to speak down to a woman.
If you want to break down someone’s self-esteem to feel better about yourself, talk to your fish. If you want to keep your relationship healthy and keep your boyfriend happy, don’t belittle him, his ideas, or his decisions.
A man, more than anything, wants respect. He doesn’t care that much about how he looks, but he cares a lot about if people respect him. Loyalty is a deep-rooted characteristic that men look for in their friends and partners. If you make him feel diminutive, he will feel like you are against him and not playing on his side.
Don’t make fun of him in private or in public, and really make sure you guard your words when you are frustrated. The easiest time to slip up is when you are feeling defensive.
One of the hardest skills to develop to keep your boyfriend happy is to keep the things you say to him and about him positive. When you are on a date, it’s easy to say nice things about him, but when you’re tired, he forgot to feed the dog, there are no groceries in the fridge, and rent is late, it’s much harder to guard your words.
If you can manage to stay calm and think about what you say before you blurt it out, it can make a huge difference in the success or failure of your relationship. Remember how stress and emotions can take hold of us and make us say things we usually wouldn’t.
Promise yourself that you’ll create a way to take a moment to calm down when you start feeling angry so as to make sure you don’t say something you will later regret.
Men can be sometimes so hard to decode and it can be a problem because we all want to make our man happy. That is why I honestly recommend this amazing book by James Bauer that literally changed my life. Believe me, after reading this you will both get so much closer and, hopefully, will end up tying the knot. That is what happened to me and my man!
As always, thanks for reading this and I’d love to hear your insight below… We look out for each other here on YouQueen.