There’s much more to satisfying a relationship than sex, you also have to have conversations with your boyfriend. After all, what are you going to be doing when you’re mouths aren’t attached to each other’s?
Making conversation isn’t nearly as easy as making out though, is it? In fact, it can be downright intimidating, especially for those of us who are introverted and not very good natural conversationalists. But a real relationship is not just physical stimulation; it’s also based on intellectual stimulation, so you and your partner have to talk to each other!
Because of that, I’ve put together a list of things to talk about with your boyfriend. It’s basic and simple, but that’s how all good conversations start anyway. Depending on where you are in your love life, these could be casual everyday dinner conversation starters or they could be early stage getting to know each other talks. Whatever the case may be, they really do work!
There’s a very good chance that one of you in this relationship is going to be a sports fanatic, or at least watch a game once in a while. Try to have a conversation about your local football team, or better yet, go to a local sports event so you can talk about the game afterwards!
2. Comic books
The world of graphic novels and comics is pretty much unlimited and you can talk about anything at all, from Batman to Chobits. If your partner has never gotten into comics, try taking him to a comic book store and flipping through the books.
Many men are (or were) skateboarders. Now, I can’t tell you anything about skateboarding because I’ve never been one, but I dated a few back in my high school years and I can say that if you get a guy talking about his board, he’ll talk about it for hours! What’s even better is he’ll usually ask you if you want to give it a try (which leads to some excellent quality time!).
Many men are war buffs and I know quite a few guys who study WWII or the American Civil War as a hobby and past time. The best way to start this conversation is to rent a war movie (they come in almost every genre, including romance) and ask about some of the details of the battle as you watch the film. Your guy will be more than happy to help you understand the historical background.
On the other side of the spectrum, I also know quite a few men who love art or are artists of some sort themselves. When it comes to art, there are so many different types to talk about that it’s practically impossible to go wrong. Try going to an art museum or spending the day creating it yourselves. Arts and crafts aren’t just for girls, you know.
Everyone has a list of movies they want to see, so it would be a good idea for you and your boyfriend to compare lists and then rent a few films to watch together. Also, the movies you’ve both seen will contribute to hours of conversation, believe me! I once spent an entire first date talking about movies.
Speaking of dates, why not talk about your favorite foods? Is there a food you’ve never tried but always wanted to? Do you have a food bucket list? I bet he does. Go ahead and strike up a culinary conversation…preferably over dinner.
8. Your dreams
This topic could be literal or figurative. If you had some crazy quirky dream last night, then that’s a great conversation starter! Unless he’s one of those guys who never remember what they dreamed about, he’s bound to have something to add to the conversations.
Of course, you could always talk about your dreams and goals for the future. What are your goals, what do you want to be or do? Where do you see yourself in the next five years?
9. How your day went
One of the easiest and most overlooked conversation starters is the very simple and basic “how was your day?” Without you asking your boyfriend how his day was, there’s a good chance he won’t talk about it. Guys aren’t like us; they don’t just openly share all of their thoughts and feelings. Ask him about work. Tell him how your day was; did something fun and exciting happen? Bring it up and comment on it with your man.
Everyone has a favorite book, so why not ask him to share his favorite literary titles with you? Or, better yet, why not read a book together? Have you ever seen movie scenes where the couple is in the park and he’s reading to her as she lies on his lap (or the other way around)? It’s romantic! You and your man should give it a try!
Okay, there are good family stories and bad family stories. One of the best ways to get to know your boyfriend (or anyone else for that matter) is to compare the good ones. Share some of your childhood pranks with your partner, talk about the time you and your family went on a cross country vacation. Family makes great conversation!
If you’ve been in your relationship for a long time and you have some family baggage, maybe it’s time to open up about that?
One of my favorite questions to ask someone is, “If you could live in any time in history, what time would you choose?” This is always a great conversation starter because there are so many different choices! I can tell you what times I would not want to live in, but it’s much harder to choose a time you would actually want to be in! Discuss the pros and cons of your chosen time periods.
One of the best things to talk about is music. There are so many good bands out there now, and there are so many different styles and genres to choose from…music can bring about endless possibilities! Another great way to strike up conversation is to go see a show! You can go to a concert or the symphony, or you can just go see a local band at a bar and have a fun night out.
14. Your future together (even just short term)
If you’re looking for a more serious conversation to have with your boyfriend, try talking about your future together. In fact, I highly recommend having this talk. You can talk long term or short term, or, if it’s a new relationship, you can even just talk about what you’re going to do together next week. The point of the conversation is to make plans with each other.
15. Current events
One often overlooked conversation topic is current events. I’ll be the first to tell you that I don’t watch the news. I can’t stand hearing bad news, it makes me even more depressed, but not all news is bad news. Find something positive to talk about, even if it’s something that happened to a member of your family or a friend, and share the joy.
Talking to your boyfriend should come naturally. The two of you should want to be with each other all the time and should genuinely be interested in what the other one has to say. The best way to talk to each other is to be open and honest with each other. Oh, and when it comes to questions to ask a guy, remember to ask the open-ended ones…you know, questions he has to actually reply to in sentence form, not just a yes or a no.
Either way, when it comes down to talking to your boyfriend openly, the most important factor is how well you can actually understand him. Men have their secrets, and they’re often hard to decode unless they feel close enough to actually open up to you emotionally. But it doesn’t have to be that hard once you learn to talk directly to his heart. That’s where James Bauer’s Respect Principle proved to be very useful for women that want to take their relationship to that next level. And I highly recommend if you also want to discover want men secretly want, but are afraid to tell you.
So, what are you and your partner going to talk about tonight?