Often the hardest part of a break up isn’t the break up itself, but the pain that comes after. You’re lonely, you start to miss them, you remember the good times, you might even question why you split up in the first place, and then you see your ex happier than ever.
This can be the hardest thing to witness if you’re still feeling sad and heartbroken following your split. It makes you feel like they never cared about you in the first place.
We’ve got a selection of tips that will help you move on from your ex and find perspective when you see him looking happier than ever after your break up.
Cut all contact
Nothing can be gained from staying in touch with an ex. If you still have feelings for him, then there’s no way you can remain friends, because you’ll always be wanting more. Every look or conversation will be studied and replayed in your head as you wonder whether there could be a chance to rekindle things. This will only end in a downward spiral because one of you can’t accept that you need to let go.
If you don’t trust yourself, the best thing you can do is cut all contact; delete his number, unfollow him on social media, avoid him when you’re out with your friends. This will stop yourself from seeing him happier than ever before. They say ignorance is bliss, and in this case, it could be the best thing for you.
Never trust what you see
If you are still following your ex on social media accounts, then be wary of what you see.
When it comes to a breakup, social media is not your friend. Just one look at Facebook or Instagram and you’ll be given an endless stream of photos of them laughing, smiling and joking. They might look like they are happier than ever but this is only a small part of their life. Remember they’re making a conscious choice about what to upload and show the world.
If they’re going out with friends on nights out, that doesn’t mean they don’t ever feel sad. You’re only seeing a small part of their life. If you see them moving on with someone else, that doesn’t mean they’ve completely forgotten about you either.
A photo is only one snapshot in time and not a reflection of their whole life. Remember social media is only an illusion.
Remind yourself why it didn’t work out
Once you’ve broken up with someone, it’s easy to remember everything with rose-tinted glasses. We naturally focus on the good times, instead of the bad.
It can be difficult to remember why you broke up in the first place but try and remember all of your relationships, including the highs and the lows. Trust your gut and have faith in your decision. You made it for a reason so try and stand by it.
Take time for yourself
Seeing your ex happier than ever after a break up can be hard, but there’s no reason why you can’t be happier than ever too. Take time out for yourself. Spend time doing the things you love, whether that’s a fun hobby, treating yourself to a haircut or a facial, or indulging in some retail therapy. Make time for the things that make you feel good about yourself.
If you spend time making yourself feel good, this should help make you happier and then you shouldn’t find it so hard seeing your ex happier than ever after your break up.
Spend time with your loved ones
See your friends and family, go out and spend quality time with them. Your friends and family know you better than anyone else so they can be the best people to listen to how you are feeling and offer advice. Spending time with them can help put perspective on the situation.
Remember your worth
One of the most important things to remember is your own worth. If your ex does look happier than ever before, so what?
Ask yourself why you care. You deserve the best treatment and if he is happier than ever before after your break up, then he is clearly not the right guy for you. You deserve someone who wants to fight for you and wants to be with you, no matter what.
Take comfort in the knowledge that if you are meant to be with him, things will find a way to work out.
Find happiness in yourself
Being content and happy within yourself is the best way to ensure you are not affected by seeing your ex happier than ever.
Once you are fully content with yourself, you won’t care if they are happy. You will be pleased for them and wish them well. You will no longer feel sad or jealous of their happiness because you have your own.
Focus on the positives
And finally, remember all breakups can be difficult. Moving on can be a slow and gradual process. There isn’t a time limit. Everyone moves on at a different pace so you shouldn’t feel pressured to wake up one day and suddenly feel fine.
If your ex is happier than ever straight after a breakup, this only shows that you didn’t bring out the best in each other, the way an amazing relationship should do.
Take your time, trust that everything will work out in the end, and if you see your ex happier than ever after your break up, try and remember that you can be happier than ever too.