The age old dilemma, do I or don’t I think that the long haired male specimen sitting across from me is attractive?
Well, it depends? For me, it depends on whether I’m cold or not. I like the idea of snuggling with my face pressed up against their hair. It’s so much warmer that way. However, when it’s hot, that move is definitely a no go. When it’s hot, you don’t need that irritating mess anywhere near you- you have your own hair to contend with.
I also don’t like long hair when it’s windy. I’d like to walk with my partner without getting a fist full of hair in my mouth – despite the fact that he thinks it’s a bonding experience.
Based on my indecisiveness about guys with long hair and many a conversation with my girlfriends, I bring to you 10 long hair styles that women both hate and love on men.
Have you ever been at the beach and seen a life guard whipping his hair back and forth and the ocean water dripping from his blond hair? Who wouldn’t fall at the feet of such a sight? You can run your fingers through it and bask in the sun’s warm rays, which have graciously been reflected on his hair.
While gazing up at his luscious golden mane you can allow yourself to be embraced by the smell of the ocean that permanently clings to his curls.
However, not all of us can stomach the smell of fresh, slimy fish, and thus, must reluctantly look on from afar. Although some may appreciate said reflected rays, I myself tend to find them directly reflecting into my eye. It’s truly a blinding experience.
I must admit, I do like the fantasy of running my fingers through his hair, until I’m plagued with images of my fingers forever captured in it. During the ensuing battle to recapture my fingers, a chunk of his hair will be ripped out and his long hair will be no more. An unfortunate series of events, which could be avoided for his benefit, if anything else.
We’ve all seen the men in rock bands with hair up to their hips, how it swishes and sways as they manically bash their heads against an invisible wall. I’ve always thought that if horses were people they would have rocker length hair. Just give yourself a moment to imagine that.
Imagine having all that hair at your disposal. Waking up and feeling it tickle your arms or having the pleasure of playfully tugging it to get their attention. Better yet, being able to share hair treatment tips with one another, who doesn’t love a good hair maintenance tip?
On the other hand, I for one do not wish to be bombarded with constant feelings of jealously every time I see his long hair. All I’m saying is that it’s completely unfair that I can’t get mine to grow that long. I have a feeling it’s because I’ve been cursed. Or possibly, it could be genetics, but being cursed is a safe bet.
There’s also the annoyance of having to share your bathroom with someone who probably has more hair care products then you, such an upsetting thought. Lastly, I have no desire to be whipped in the face with his mammoth hair when he decides he wants to turn around.
3. Pony tail
The good old pony tail, the one who wears it is a man with simple tastes. He isn’t consumed with the need to display his healthy mane. Who doesn’t love a humble man? The best part is that because they tend to play with the end of the pony tail, they start developing a little curl towards the bottom.
This always looks adorable and it’s fun to pull the curl down and watch it snap back. You also don’t have to worry that he’ll take longer then you when he’s getting ready. This means you get the pros of having a long haired man without the cons.
Although, there are still some cons I can think of. Who doesn’t like a man that makes a little effort? Put down the pony tail and shake that thing out, show me what you have. I also tend to find that pony tailed men don’t look after their hair like the other species of long haired men.
Who will I get hair care tips from? A part of me just died. You also know that someone that doesn’t appreciate their own hair won’t appreciate yours…no one wants that.
Dreads are so diverse; they can be worn by anyone, from rappers to guys with a Goth or hippie predilection. What I like most about dreads is that they’re not the norm, you get to experience something completely unrelated to any other hair style. They get to teach you about dreads, and who knows, you may even want to give them a try. It’s a good bonding experience.
If they have neon colored dreads, then you also have the added advantage of never losing track of them, a valuable tool to have when you’re in a crowd.
There is, nevertheless, the issue that when they turn around, you’ll get more than a simple hair wiping. A face whip from dreads equals pain. Try explaining that vertical line across your face at work. Not an easy task and no one ever believes you. Your colleagues just think that you’re the idiot that walked into a pole…a very skinny pole.
I do have one last thing I want to add. You will eventually get a dread to the eye and the pain is comparable to the intensity of a thousand suns.
Now, I’m not talking about the multicolored approach that we associate punk with, but rather the dead straight chin length black hair look. It’s usually accompanied by some smoky eyeliner. You see, with this lad, you get not only the benefit of sharing his hair straightener, but you can also borrow his eyeliner.
They can also show you some tips on how to get your hair dead straight, or they can show you a new eyeliner brand that you’ll happen to fall in love with. They also tend to have silky hair that demands to be petted, and naturally, you’re willing to oblige. There’s nothing like a lazy afternoon, with you running your fingers through their hair.
Nevertheless, there is the issue of only having one hair straightener, and I’ve noticed that men take a lot more time to get ready when they’re hair obsessed. Can you imagine having to wait an hour to use your own straightener because Mr. Forgetful didn’t bring his own? Even worse, if they discover said hair style while they’re seeing you and decide it’s just more affordable to use yours then to buy their own.
Then you have a fashionista on your hands that’s also cheap. Although, my greatest pet peeve would be when he borrows your eyeliner and gives you pink eye. I like pink but never in that shade.
Ah, the glorious Mohawk. This hair style tends to appear on boys your parents don’t like. So that in itself is a bonus, who doesn’t like shaking up the household. Plus, our parents need to learn to loosen up. Dating a man with such flare (get it?) has other benefits as well.
If you’re into tall men, then his hair will more than make up the difference. Also, what’s more fun than helping him get his hair just the right amount of spiky in the morning, if anything, it’s a great way to bond.
Maintenance, maintenance, maintenance! Your man needs a lot of morning time in the bathroom, and if you’re not keen on helping him, this may be a deal breaker. Won’t mum and dad just be thrilled? There is also the issue that they are accident prone, one well intentioned turn of the head might very well sweep everything off your selves.
Then there’s also the conundrum of low doorways and the chaos that ensues when their Mohawks turn into a mo-comb overs.
7. Hipster bun
I have to say, this hair style is one of my personal favorites. It’s both short and long, so you get the best of both worlds. If it’s hot, they pull their hair into a bun, if it’s warm they put it in a small pony tail and if it’s cold they leave their hair out. So many different short and long hair styles!
This is great for me and my fellow indecisive peers. You also know that because this hair style accompanies hipsters, that it’s well looked after. No split ends in this relationship.
Although this hair style is simply the hands down winner, at least in my opinion, there are still some unfortunate downsides. This guy leaves his hair riddled hair ties all over the place. I do not want that in my bathroom, or anywhere near my house for that matter. Only I can leave hairy hair ties wherever I please, it is my place after all.
My last grievance is that hipster buns tend to come with hipster glasses. Although I can feel myself turning towards this trend, I still have reservations as to why someone would need glasses so big that even their cheeks can use them to see. Don’t even get me started on people that wear those glasses even though they have perfect vision.
We all know Thor, if you don’t, please begin the process of removing that rock you’ve been hiding under for the past several years. Thor hair is shoulder length layered hair, and this hair is a bonus if it actually comes attached to Chris Hemsworth… one can only dream.
What can I say; this style demands a good finger running. This look is best accompanied by a neat beard which will really give them a wilderness vibe. Throw in some plaid and you have yourself a lumberjack.
On the other hand, this can only be pulled off by certain men. It’s not a look that suits everyone. What you’ll find happen is that their hair will have too many layers and it will just look like a pixie cut. Not exactly the look that they were going for. Then there’s the ever present hair flick that they feel compelled to do.
You’ll be enjoying a relaxing evening, when all of a sudden, they do the flick. You think to yourself that it’s ok, but then they do it again, and again, and again. The evening then turns into a “how many flicks can he achieve in the space of 30 seconds? Only 5 it seems. I must find myself someone far more dedicated to the art of hair flicking, for this one lacks both commitment and motivation.”
Whether or not you decide to say that out loud is your own business.
9. Long on top
This look is characterized as short on the sides and long on the top, which is usually styled to have some volume. You see it often in the business world. These men have that sleek look to them, that some of you might be interested in.
There is no way they are going to let you run your fingers through their hair. It’s the equivalent of asking them if they’d like to lob of their right hand and feed it to a bear. A wonderful image, isn’t it. Frankly, if I can’t touch your hair, then you no longer have that suave associated to your long haired brethren. You and your hair have been demoted!
THE AFRO! Whenever I see this look, I think of 70’s bedazzled jumpsuits, with maybe a comb accessory. What I love about this look is that it has a natural feel to it. You also don’t need to do something outrageous to your hair to get the look, so it’s low maintenance.
I also like this look because as a fellow curly haired individual, I know they can sympathize with my hair issues. Then there’s always the pleasure of pulling their hair and watching it snap back. Even though I do this with my own hair, it always feels better to annoy someone else with it.
On the down side they can’t wear hats or beanies; this is a major concern of mine. He will never be a fedora wearing man. It’s the heartbreaking truth.
Comment below to let me know which hair style your partner has. Do you love it or hate it?