Men aren’t the complicated creatures we make them out to be. They, as a whole, have singular tastes in what they look for in women. I’ve interviewed a few men around the city and there are six traits they collectively find attractive in a woman.
While some of these aforementioned traits will seem like common knowledge, the rest will seem more like it came out of a Destiny’s Child song. One thing you, dear reader, will notice, is that there’s a certain ring of truth with each one of them. Here's how to be the woman every man wants!
1. Appearances DO matter, but confidence is key
Yes, it sounds like a conundrum. Men are known to be visual creatures who need their eyes to be pleased before the rest of their bodies can appreciate a lady. Keep in mind that this has nothing to do with weight or body type, as many men are into different sizes of women.
When I say appearances do matter, I mean that a lady needs to be presentable. While many of us tend to wear comfy clothes and skip cosmetic routines when we go out, a lot of us miss out because a lady can meet a potential suitor anywhere.
Now, I’m not saying that you have to dress to the nines to buy groceries. But, leave the yoga pants and sweats at home or in the yoga studio. A man appreciates a woman who takes pride in her appearance. To him, wearing something like sweats tells him you don’t take pride in yourself and that you’re not interested in finding your soulmate.
Alternatively, a man also appreciates a lady who can dress for her body type. This includes women of all shapes and sizes. Men aren’t interested in cookie cutter perfection. If you are a full figured lady like I am, there are beautiful outfits out there that flatter your curves instead of showcasing them the wrong way.
We don’t need to hide behind oversized shirts and baggy pants anymore to look presentable. There are dresses, skirts, jeans, and many different kinds of tops from stores like Torrid and Addition Elle that make us all look great. You don’t need to be a skinny size 0 to look attractive.
Plus, when we feel great about the way we are dressed, we exude confidence. Men LOVE confidence as a trait in a woman. They aren’t interested in the wishy-washy damsel-in-distress lady who constantly needs saving. They enjoy watching a girl take control of a situation.
Confidence doesn’t just come from our appearance either. It’s shown in what we do…it’s shown in what we are passionate about. Don’t be afraid to let your passions be known in what you do. It’s no lie that a woman can do anything a man can do…whether it’s working on a car or being the CEO of a multinational corporation. Follow your heart and let your confidence soar!
2. Independent women rule
Another trait men find irresistible in a lady is independence. For too long they have been expected to pick up the tab for dinner, expensive gifts, and admission to different places. It’s 2016, a time for equal opportunity. There is nothing wrong with being an independent woman. If anything, it’s empowering.
A man enjoys a lady who can pay her own bills and maintain her own finances. The days of the patriarchal society where men are the breadwinners are long gone and we can rejoice in the fact that we can pay for things we couldn’t afford before.
Men lose interest in a lady if she always expects him to pay for everything. There are things that men want to buy for themselves too. A man shouldn’t have to sacrifice saving for his dream house or saving for a new toy for the sake of impressing a potential bride.
It’s time for women as a whole to celebrate the fact that we can earn enough money buy our own expensive items. We can buy our own jewelry. We can buy our own vehicles. We can even buy and rent our own places. When a man sees that we have control over our own lives, he sees a potential wife who can bring out the best in him.
At the same time, though, women should occasionally let their men pick up the tab. If you constantly pay for everything, your man will see himself as an emasculated failure. Give and take is key to the perfect balance in such a relationship.
3. How to be the woman every man wants? Go with the flow
Life tends to flow its own way. There are things beyond our control. Should we worry and stress when things don’t work out? NO!
To a man, nothing is more annoying and grating than a lady who can’t adjust and adapt. Remember, men are problem solvers. If you have a problem, they are programmed to come up with a solution. This goes hand in hand with independence.
A lady who is able to go with the flow and adapt to her changing surroundings is attractive to all men.
4. Don’t be afraid of getting dirty
Men love to hunt, camp and fish. Most of them love being outdoors, no matter what the weather throws at them. What they would love most is a lady who will get down to their level and do these things with them.
All three activities involve getting a little dirty. There’s nothing wrong with that. Life isn’t mean to be about tidy idleness.
Men enjoy hanging around ladies who will be more than happy playing in the mud. What they don’t enjoy are high maintenance women who are grossed out by even a speck of dirt on their outfit…or women who have apoplexy when they chip or break a nail.
Allowing yourself to get dirty can come with any other activity as well, like cooking. Instead of getting concerned with spilling a little bit of marinara sauce on your shirt, remember that stains will come out and enjoy yourselves. Life is too short to worry about dirt.
When a man is spending time with a lady who isn’t afraid to get dirty, he sees it as the lady putting 110% effort into whatever activity they are doing together. Men like to see us let ourselves go that way, no matter what we do.
So paint without a smock, cook without an apron and enjoy the spray of mud from the tires when you guys go off-roading together. Trust me, nothing feels more liberating than letting loose and letting the dirt fly.
5. Take control once in a while
A lot of people see relationships as a competition for control. While some men love to control how the relationship progresses, most men enjoy it when their lady takes the reins. It could be something as simple as planning a date or something as intricate as taking control in the bedroom.
To most men, a woman who can handle taking control from time to time is irresistible. It shows them that their significant other isn’t always submissive, a trait that can become grating if it’s something they constantly deal with in a partner.
Men also prefer to let us take over planning things sometimes. It gets hard for a man to find a romantic spot to take you to for a date. Men aren’t programmed to be able to be mushy and romantic all the time. That’s why they appreciate us taking control from time to time. As women, we are programmed more to be in tune with romantic things, so it’s easier for us to plan the date of our dreams.
Same thing goes for bedroom antics. Men are used to being so dominant in bed that it’s become a dull routine for them. So, take charge once in a while and let him be the submissive for a change. It’s a big turn on for a lady to take control of her man in the bedroom sometimes. It is definitely an easy way to spice things up without having to go through a lot of trouble. Isn’t your man worth it?
6. Communication is key
Above everything else, a man enjoys a lady who knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to tell him. Men were not born to be mind readers. They don’t know what we are thinking most of the time and genuinely get confused when we become upset for something that could have easily been resolved with proper communication.
Men need a sense of direction when it comes to the special ladies in their lives. If you can’t tell him that you want him to do something, or that you don’t like something, he won’t know. Subtle hints DO NOT work on men. We need to use plain language to get them to understand. We can’t expect men to know the things that make us tick.
Just like with confidence and independence, a woman with great communication skills is a turn on for men. It shows them that the lady won’t drop any bombshells on them later on in the relationship and will help them feel more secure.
Men are insecure creatures who need us to give them direction. If they don’t have to worry about misunderstanding you or knowing what you want, men will be happier. Who doesn’t love a happy man?
In essence, it’s not a difficult task to be the woman every man wants. If you take these six traits to heart, you will find that more suitors are coming your way. So boost your confidence with nicer clothes, let your independent side show, allow yourself to get dirty, show who’s boss and let your communication flow. You will then find that men will flock to you. Live, laugh and love!