How to Flirt With a Guy Over Text: 7 Texting Rules Worth Following

Flirting with a guy over text can be tricky. Follow these 7 texting rules to avoid confusion and learn how to flirt with a guy over text like a pro.

Like everything, flirting has moved with the times and technology has taken over. Long gone are the days of traditional courting and the batting of eyelids to vie for a man’s attention. Sometimes it’s really difficult to know how to behave and what to say when it comes to flirting. The question “Am I doing it right?” will often run though your mind.

More often than not, it’s easier to hide and flirt behind the screen of a computer or phone. This is totally cool and it’s considered the norm these days. But flirting via text messages can be a little tricky at times. There are some definite dos and don’ts when flirting over text with a guy you’re interested in. For some, it comes naturally, but for others it may be a little bit more difficult. It’s completely different from flirting face-to-face.

Perhaps the worst thing about texting is once a message is sent, it’s sent – there’s no taking it back. We live in a world obsessed with technology, so if you’re considering being all cutesy via text messages, it’s essential that you familiarize yourself with these 7 golden rules. Here's how to flirt with a guy over text:

#1 Be Yourself

This is the most important rule to live by when flirting over text. When a person is hiding behind technology, they often feel compelled to exaggerate. They’ll often try and put up a façade just for the sake of impressing others. This gives guys the wrong impression and when you do eventually come face-to-face, they’ll understand the lie(s). Don’t try and be someone you’re not just to get him to like you more.

#2 Don’t Overkill

young black guy reads text message on his phone

Facebook, social media, and texting have made us super lazy when it comes to the English language. We tend to use abbreviations and emoticons with almost every message. These have become so engrained in us that we forget when and where we should use them.

When you begin your flirting marathon via text, you need to keep it short and sweet. In this case, less is more. If you opt to add a number of smiley faces and hearts, your guy might be weirded out. Girls tend to use these more than guys who generally just find these things silly. So don’t have him doubting your intelligence with all these extra added symbols and what not; just keep it fun and light-hearted.

#3 Forget the Sarcasm

This is a general rule that you should follow when doing any form of texting. It is especially necessary when flirting. There’s a huge difference between face-to-face sarcasm and phone sarcasm. When a person uses sarcasm in a text message, there aren’t any facial expressions, gestures, or vocal clues to back it up. It’s really difficult to decipher whether a person is joking, being sarcastic, or just being a jerk sometimes. But never fear ladies, all this embarrassment and awkwardness can be avoided – just save your sarcastic jokes or comments until you’re face-to-face with him and he gets to understand your humor a little better.

#4 Stop Over-Analyzing Everything

Another thing we women tend to do is to read way too much into different things. We’re known for reading texts and emails over and over again trying to figure out the “hidden meanings.” Usually, guys are more straight up than women and don’t use innuendoes as such. So, stop wasting your precious hours thinking about what he means when he texted you “I’ll catch you later.” All you will end up doing is driving yourself nuts. Chill out a little bit more and enjoy the fun in it.

#5 Sexy Pics

Never, ever, and I mean NEVER, do this! I’m going to put this to you straight because it will just come back and bite you in the butt in the future. Never send anyone, even a guy you’ve been flirting with, any photograph that could compromise you. You may think that you’re being cute and flirtatious. You may even think you’re getting his attention, but you’ll live to regret it.

Firstly, you can never trust anyone to keep these “private” pictures to themselves; you also can’t control what happens to those photos in the end and where they’ll end up being posted. There are many horror stories of women having their pictures posted by guys they like or exes on the internet. So, keep your dignity and privacy. Anyway if things do really end up heating up, he’s going to see the real thing really soon!

#6 Watch Your Grammar

Make sure you proofread your text messages. There’s nothing sweet about a woman who mistakes “to” for “too” or “you’re” for “your”. This is of course not going to end any communication and it’s not a deal breaker per se. But using correct English and grammar or whatever other language you’re flirting in can’t hurt.

#7 Text by Mistake

Young Woman At Outdoor Music Festival Using Mobile Phone

Whoops! Sometimes our touch phones are super sensitive and we hit “send” to the wrong person. This is embarrassing enough as it is, but when it’s to a guy we like, it’s even worse. You’ll often come across as careless and it’s even worse if you’re sending a text about him intended for someone else. It just makes for an uncomfortable situation and you’ll just end up looking silly.

Of course it’s all about common sense. But sometimes when we really like a guy our brains don’t function as they should. Just follow the simple dos and don’ts when texting and flirting with a guy and nothing will go wrong.

What do you think? Do you have any other rules to add to the list when flirting with a guy via text?

About the author


Victoria loves life, people and travel and writes for YouQueen’s Love and Sex sections. She loves to laugh, dance and cook and has a penchant for dessert. Her life is hectic and often a little crazy but this is her driving force.

1 Comment

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  • I think the most important questions is to be uniquely yourself…when he gets a text from you (especially a first text) he should feel like no one else other than you would have sent this text.

    Great post!