First off – the most important thing to know and to remember is – introverted does not mean shy! Being introverted does not necessarily mean being socially awkward. It’s not like that at all. Even though this is a common misconception and your thesaurus will most likely offer ‘shy’ or ‘timid’ as synonyms for ‘introverted’ – they are not.
What is an introvert?
So, before even getting into explaining and breaking down the things that make out an introverted person it’s important to first learn to differentiate them from someone who’s just shy and nervous around others.
A shy person is not shy around everybody. Someone who’s shy is going to open up with certain people they feel comfortable with. Introverted people are just less willing to share and engage in conversation, relationships etc. It’s the way they are, and they are okay with that.
I guess to sum it up you could say that being shy means wanting to form relationships and make conversation but not being able to because of insecurities, while being introverted is something much more deeply wired. Introverts simply have an inward focus, a strong sense of self and actually energize by spending some time alone.
Also, people tend to connect being confident and comfortable in your own skin with being loud and extroverted which is not always the case. In fact, the excessively loud and obnoxious people are not confident at all but are just putting on a show. On the other hand, many introverts are extremely witty and are usually quite happy with who they are.
So, now that we’ve got all the confusion and misconceptions out of the way, it’s time to break down the basic elements of an introverted personality. The main traits you want to look for in order to come to a conclusion on which personality type this man of yours has are the following:
#1 He Likes Solo Activities
Reading, painting, writing or even playing video games or sports like tennis – where he’s basically on his own. Enjoying and appreciating time he has alone, with his thoughts (and he has many of those, believe me) is something that’s definitely a huge part of being an introvert.
#2 He’s Very Analytically Sharp
Introverts are up in their own heads pretty much all the time. They tend to dwell on things, (over)analyze, brainstorm and pretty much have a drawn out thought process. This is why they usually even notice things other people don’t. If you get the feeling his wheels are constantly turning up there, but what he says is carefully picked out you might have an introvert on your hands.
In fact, it’s even scientifically proven that introverts have increased blood flow in the frontal lobes, anterior thalamus, and other regions associated with remembering events, making plans, and problem-solving.
#3 He’s Not Into Sharing Personal Stuff with Everyone
Introverts basically don’t do small talk, so if he’s gonna have a conversation with you it will have to be about something much deeper than the weather. If getting to know this guy isn’t easy and there’s not much info about him going around – you know he’s an introverted person.
#4 He Has Only a Handful of Friends
Usually he’ll have a few close friends who actually know him, the rest are only acquaintances. He does not think of them as friends and you can bet on it – they’re just people he knows. So getting to him and stepping into his tight circle can be tough.
However, it’s not like introverts have a fear of commitment or sharing their world with a special someone. In fact there’s so much that he could bring into that kind of a relationship, being someone who doesn’t drive on impulse. Getting to him and making him let you get to know him might be tricky.
But, if after reading this you’re thinking he might be an introvert be careful of one thing – he will not react well to being pushed and you ‘trying to get him out of his shell’. It’s all coming back to what I tried to clarify in the beginning – he’s not in a shell. He’s just that kind of a person. And trying to change him is not the right approach.
Now, I know it may be hard for you to figure out whether an introverted guy is interested in you or not, so check out this post on how to tell if a guy likes you. I’m sure you’ll find some good indicators that he’s interested.