Is there anything better than feeling sexy? Possibly, but let’s agree on it being one of the better things in life, shall we? At least I think so…and there are ways to feel sexy almost immediately.
Remind yourself of who you are
Sadly most of us get caught up in life – as we’re having exams, cleaning the house, putting the kids to bed, dashing off to work and so forth, we don’t always feel we have time to feel sexy. We leave it for Friday and Saturday night, if that. But sexiness is largely a state of mind and can be used at any time of day, anywhere.
Of course, it helps with a few props and accessories and personally I feel a lot sexier walking down Champs Elysees than attacking the sale at H&M. However, if I just stop to remind myself I’m vixen, I can even handle bargain shopping feeling like one.
So take a vow of sexiness and put on a bracelet, or something else, that will remind you every time you see it that you have, indeed, made a promise to feel sexy.
Slow down. Feel your sensuality. And move with it, because it will come out in your body movements and voice. Have you ever seen someone speaking at 90 miles an hour and coming across as sensual?
I grew up in clogs in the Swedish countryside, so it took me some time to figure out this sexiness business. Whilst I always had a love of short skirts and leather pants, I can’t say that I was always feeling sexy. Especially as I’m rather skinny and far from those voluptuous Latinas that look like they could melt any man alive.
Maybe sexy is the wrong word here – I felt pretty sexy, on the outside, but I felt I lacked sensuality. So I realized I had to learn about sexy and sensual women, because surely it was more to it than having curves (and if it were the curves I’d be doomed to a life without sensuality).
Now, the way I gained inspiration was through books and movies. I saw women who had an air of sensuality about them. A sort of promise if you so like. It came out in the way they presented themselves, but all it really came down to was that promise – they knew they had something to offer a man.
A sexy dress can do a lot for you, but that smile with a promise, that hand resting on someone’s shoulder with a promise, your own hand touching your lips with a promise…that’s sensual.
There’s also a fine line you don’t want to cross. You want to be sexy and sensual, not a slut. The difference? You know your worth. You aren’t doing this as a desperate means of getting attention, you know your worth, that’s why you can smile with a promise because you have no intention of giving yourself away to the first man asking. Indeed, you don’t have to give yourself away at all. Sensuality is yours to own.
Films such as Like Water for Chocolate and Chocolat are very sensual, as is Miss Fisher in Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries (TV show). If you’re looking for sexy I’d say Nicole Kidman in Moulin Rouge does a pretty good job of it.
There are also books like Aphrodite by Isabel Allende, which will turn you on to the idea that it’s all about how we think about something that makes it sexual (several women in this book tried impressing their men with aphrodisiacs). Which leads me to the next point…
If you want to feel sexy, or make your man feel sexy, add a bit of tension; a bit of build up. The women Allende used to try her recipes for aphrodisiacs on came to the conclusion it was the thought behind the food that mattered, not the food itself.
If a man knows he will get aphrodisiacs for dinner, he’s sure to believe that he’ll get more than the food and the anticipation is what makes the dinner sensual.
The food can also be presented in a sensual manner, which, again, alludes to something other than food. If you whisper in someone’s ear that a truffle is an aphrodisiac, before feeding it to them…it’s sensual.
Whether you’re spreading rose petals on the bed covers, or preparing an aphrodisiac for dessert, you’re actively thinking about…sex. And of yourself as a temptress.
The trick is to incorporate this into your life, so that even if you aren’t dating someone, you are doing things that are sensual. You create a sensual bedroom, you have a sensual bath, you learn to cook sensual meals, you go lingerie shopping, you learn about the art of sex…
Knowledge is power
Knowing the art of sex immediately gives you the promise in your smile. You know you can satisfy a man. That will make you feel sexy. And remember – you don’t have to give it away, you just have to know it.
Thankfully for all of us there are bookstores filled with literature about sex and an impressive number of articles about sex, tantra and the likes online.
Knowing you know about the sexual arts will make you feel sexier. Pronto.
Touching your body
When you touch your body, what do you think about? Is it that you’re a divine sexy goddess, or that you need to get bread crumbs off your top?
You see, what you think affects how you feel and it will come across in your movements. Which is why, when you want to impress a man, you should always touch yourself as if you were a sexy goddess.
What you put on your body
From your perfume, to your lingerie, what you put on your body will make you feel a certain way. Of course, you can feel sensual wearing a sack, but it usually helps wearing something that feels sensual to you.
Say you spill something all over yourself on a date. Horrors. Or, maybe not… If you spill something, you can slowly use your napkin to clean up the mess, smile and say “I guess I shall have to take this off when I get home. Such a shame.”
Whilst thinking about sexily removing it when home. Which, of course, will make your date think about you taking it off, or him taking it off for you.
Sexy is a state of mind. If you feel sexy, you will act in a certain manner, wear certain clothes and have an inner confidence that you are sensual. It’s a subtle thing, but it comes across in everything you do. So remember: you are a sensual, sexy goddess. End of.