It’s Friday night, and you’re sitting home alone again. Your name is the only one on the invite list to that pity party for one themed, “No one understands.”
I feel your pain—all of us who have been there get it. That famed lie that consoles and soon consumes us: you are cheating yourself. We have all believed that lie at one time or another. Here are the 3 Ps that will change your life!
Does this sound familiar? Everything was going along just fine, until the once upon a time did indeed have an expiration date that came quicker than the milk in your fridge. That’s where your first clue lies. The old adage, “It’s me, not you,” is true—sort of.
While you are comfortable in your pj's, hunkered down and ready to settle in before the sun even sets, get your pen and paper and do some investigation.
First things first. Think back to your pattern of the men you have been dating. What qualities attract you to these men? The men who, sooner or later, leave you home alone on a Friday night. Surprisingly, you will find that, even if the exterior of the men may vary, the core root of them is similar.
To help you out, I will list some of the men I happen to keep drawing into my life. To give you a little laugh, I, too, am sitting home on a Friday night in my pj's, writing this:
- I like independent men—men with enough money to treat me like a princess for a night.
- I like take-charge men—don’t make me choose; just take me out and make wow me.
- I like men who challenge me—I get sassy, and they give it right back.
Sounds like the perfect man, doesn’t it? Yeah, I thought so, too, until I realized that this is not just a characteristic that is for the first few dates, and then somehow, magically, with my charm and charisma, they will transform into Prince Charming.
Lesson 1: People don’t change, and you can’t change them
They are who they are—from day one to the day you are sitting at home in your PJs, sipping tequila straight out of the bottle because washing a cup is just ‘too much’ at this tragic moment.
If you are looking for a Prince Charming, pick a Prince Charming, not a big bad wolf because the wolf will eat you up. You may like it, but more than likely, you won’t.
Ah! They say practice, practice, practice. Being a former educator, I can tell you that this is the key. Okay, maybe it is my stubborn personality that makes me think that I can have my cake and eat it, but let’s face it: even the best of us can be delusional. (I mean that in the best possible way like I believe I still look good in those jeans from high school, even if I can’t sit down in them.)
Lesson 2: If we don’t try, we will never succeed
Make your list and think back through your previous boys. Sift out the good qualities. Those are the ones you will be looking for in the man you will give your heart to next time ‘cause we’re in it to win it!
Here’re some of the good qualities in the men I choose. Personally, I’d like to give myself a pat on the back for these:
● The men I choose are all professionals. This makes me feel comfortable to know that they make contributions to society for the better.
● The men I choose don’t mind making monetary contributions to local community events. I could add the negative here and say that, for most, it is for the sake of their reputation, but this is a positive list.
● The men I choose enjoy the upper scale atmosphere that makes a woman feel like a lady and not a do-you-want-fries-with-that kind of night—even gentlemanly enough not to expect dessert (if you know what I mean).
It’s that beautiful day when you see Mr. Right, and you realize that sitting at home, waiting, was so worth it!
Lesson 3: Be worth the wait, and so will he
Yes, that day will come because we aren’t cheating ourselves out of our rightful place in this universe. We are queens, and I plan on living happily ever after—and that’s not just the tequila talking!